All the Things You Are
by Ari.L.S
Summary: Maria DuPont starts her job at Arkham, where she meets Jonathan Crane. This begins their story, in which she fights for his love and he must decide which is more important to him: his research or her. Rated T for language and sexual content. Re-editted, with less spelling mistakes and more content.
1. I've Found My Adventure

Dear Fellow Writers and Readers,

Well, I'm back!

I started this piece last Thanksgiving and wrote the bulk of it during my Christmas break from school. Now that I'm done with the college application process, I've finally found time to finish. I have to say that I am very pleased with the way it turned out. When I re-discovered Batman the Animated Series (a show that I had only seen once or twice as I child), I immediately fell in love with Jonathan Crane, and I decided to write a fan-fic based around him. While I wanted to keep as many elements as I could from BTAS, I also borrowed elements from "Batman Begins" (Cillian Murphy: you are my god!) and the few details I know from the original comics.

My foundation for the story is really just a simple question: If Jonathan Crane had a girlfriend, what would have she been like, and what would have their relationship been like? The answer? Well, read on if you're curious enough to find out. ;)

As for the title and chapter titles, they all come from one of my favorite Broadway showtunes, "All The Things You Are". Feel free to look up the song and see how it fits into the story! :)

"Batman", all of its characters, and all of its places belong to DC Comics. I take no ownership to these elements and I only claim my characters as my own.

Many thanks to all of you. Please leave comments and constructive criticism. And, as always, happy reading!

~Ari Summers

* * *

><p>All The Things You Are<p>

Chapter One: I've Found My Adventure

The identification tag read "Fern DuPont". That wasn't her name, though. It was actually Maria. Fern was one of Maria's older sisters (she had two older sisters, Fern and Alexis, and an older brother, Maxwell). Maria was used to this; ever since they were in grade school, people mixed up the DuPont girls. Alexis, being the oldest, rarely ran into the problem of being called another name, while people often confused Fern (the next oldest) with Alexis and Maria with Fern. Maxwell, being the only male child, never had this issue.

Maria learned not to take the confusion personally, but she couldn't help but be frustrated with this particular mix-up. Having to file paperwork for an I.D. change was definitely _not _the ideal start for her new job. Alexis was the one who hooked her up with her new position at Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane (she was one of the resident psychiatrists at the asylum).

"I told my boss that my sister just graduated from Gotham University with a degree in psychiatric nursing, and I guess he thought I meant Fern," Alexis explained as she led Maria to the main office. "I mean, Dr. Bartholomew is such good friends with daddy, so I thought he knew that Fern went into marine biology," she added with a small chuckle. Maria forced a smile, but inside she felt a little hurt. The successes of her siblings always seemed to overshadow her. Her brother was an accomplished lawyer, Alexis was one of the head psychiatrists at Arkham Asylum, and Fern was studying marine life in the Galapagos, while Maria was just a nurse. She was smart, but not as intelligent as Maxwell, and pretty, but not as beautiful as Fern, and talented, but not as gifted as Alexis. In comparison to her siblings, she was just average. People expected greatness from Maria because of the success her older siblings achieved, and most of the time she was able to conform to the high expectations set before her. She didn't graduate as valedictorian, nor was she voted Prom Queen, nor was she class President. There was nothing extraordinary about her.

"Excuse me, Sarah," Alexis said to the secretary at the main office desk, "but there's been a mistake in my sister's I.D. Her name is listed to be 'Fern DuPont', but her name is 'Maria DuPont'." As she said this, she slipped Maria's I.D. card across the desk. "Would you be able to fix it?"

"I'll see what I can do," Sarah replied tiredly. "But I can't guarantee that the new one will be printed by the end of the day. Use this one and come back at the end of your shift." She slid the card back towards Maria, who had no choice but to take the false identifier.

They left the office and the two women navigated their way through the Asylum towards the third floor in the Psychiatric Ward, where Alexis's office was located. Maria bit her lip as she heard the faint cries of the insane penetrating through the thick, metal walls. Alexis gave her sister a reassuring smile.

"It seems a little frightening at first, but you'll get used to it. These people are under strong restraints, so there's no way they can get you," she said, hoping that would provide some comfort. Maria peeked into the little window of one of the doors and watched as a small team of nurses attempted to sedate a patient in the middle of a psychotic fit. She turned away quickly, her stomach opening a deep, empty pit. They reached the third floor and approached the end of the hallway, where Alexis's office was located, and found that there was a thin, wiry man in a lab coat waiting outside of the office. He had neatly trimmed dark brown, almost black, hair, pale skin, and icy blue eyes framed by thin rectangular glasses. Propped up by his upper left arm was a clipboard, while his right hand gripped a pen.

"Good morning, Dr. Crane," Alexis greeted the young man, a hint of surprise in her voice. "I thought you were off today."

"Good morning, Dr. DuPont," replied Dr. Crane. "I was called earlier this morning to attend to Mr. Pryce in room P-105. I have the reports right here." He unclipped a manila folder from the clipboard and handed it to her. "I just wanted to make sure you got them, and the only way I could ensure that was to personally deliver them. If it's at all possible, I would appreciate it if you read them immediately."

"Has his condition changed _that _drastically?" she asked.

"I was hoping to test out a drug I've been experimenting with on him, but I need your permission before I can do so," Dr. Crane answered. "It might be able to help his condition." Alexis nodded slowly as she opened the folder and began flipping through the pages.

"Let me think about it," she said. "Thank you, Dr. Crane." Dr. Crane nodded and left through the red door at the end of the hallway, which was the entrance to a stairwell. Maria watched him leave, and for a few moments her gaze lingered on the closing door. Alexis, after finishing scanning the paperwork, lightly nudged Maria and gestured her into the office.

"You could have introduced us," Maria said in a low mumble as she took a seat across from Alexis's desk. Alexis dropped the folder onto her desk and sat down.

"There's no point. He's only here when he's conducting research, so you wouldn't be working together anyway," she replied curtly. A sigh passed through her lips. "He just keeps pestering me and pestering me," she exhaled as she massaged her temples. Maria frowned slightly and slumped into her seat with crossed arms like a teenager who was just scolded for bad behavior. Alexis opened the folder again and re-read the reports, taking in the words quickly. She heaved another sigh and stood. "I need to go look at Mr. Pryce myself. Maria would you like to come along?"

"I can't, I have my briefing in twenty minutes, remember?" Maria replied.

"Oh yes, I forgot about that," Alexis said, a little embarrassed. "Can you find your way around all right? I need to examine the patient right now."

"Of course. I'll be fine," Maria answered quickly. Alexis nodded and left the room briskly. Maria waited a few moments before exiting the office as well.

The lights in the white hallway flickered. The hall itself was empty, but she could hear people wailing behind closed doors. Some of the cries were forlorn and morbid, while some were screams boiling with rage. Terrifying images flashed before her eyes. Heavy iron doors swinging open, sick lunatics crawling out of their cages and reaching towards her, running and snatching her up, tearing her apart, threatened by her presence and defending themselves through violence because they didn't know any better. She felt frigid. Chills slithered down her spine. She took small, careful steps towards the red door. Before she could wrap her fingers around the handle, the door was pushed into her. A light gasp rose from her throat as she backed away. Dr. Crane stepped in.

"Oh, excuse me," he mumbled as he turned to his side to slide past her. Maria shifted to her side to let him pass.

"Ah…wait…please," she called out before he could walk too far. He stopped and glanced over his shoulder. "I'm sorry, but…could you tell me how to get to the conference room?" Her voice was soft and timid. It seemed like a moth's wing, fragile and transparent. Dr. Crane was familiar with this voice type, as some of his patients, mostly the raped women who received incredible mental scars from the brutality of their rape, had gentle, broken voices. What was going through that mind of hers? He could easily sense the fear that was pulsing through her system. Who wouldn't be afraid of the dank, empty corridors of the house of lunatics, where there is no accompaniment but the buzzing of flickering lights and the wails of the mad? A place where you can be completely isolated, yet never alone. Who in their right mind would want to work in a place like this? Maybe, perhaps, those who never considered themselves normal.

"Go all the way down to the first floor, and then continue ahead through a glass hallway into the Hospital Wing. The conference room is near the main entrance of the Asylum," he responded quickly, almost too quickly for Maria to process. He exhaled his words and his eyes glanced towards his wrist, around which a simple black watch was wrapped. Maria concluded that he was probably in a rush to get somewhere.

"T-thank you very much, Doctor," she said with a slight bow of the head. They both turned around and went their separate ways.

Maria followed Dr. Crane's instructions and went down to the first floor. However, the staircases did not end there: one more set of stairs led further into the ground. Now Maria began to question herself. By first floor, did he mean the one that was labeled "1st Floor", or the ground level? Instinct told her that she was on the correct level, but curiosity was pushing her down the next flight.

"Easy there, Maria," she said to herself, her fingers tightly grasping the cold iron banister. "No need to be hasty. The briefing starts in fifteen minutes." Her gaze lingered on the stairwell for a few more moments. There was no light down there; if she tried to navigate down those stairs she would have plunged herself into complete darkness. Shuddering, Maria went through the red doors ahead of her and, following Dr. Crane's instructions, found the conference room.

Even though the meeting she was attending was called an "employment briefing", it ran for the entire day. Maria, along with four other new nurses, were given everything they needed to know about working in Arkham Asylum, including a layout of the building, emergency safety procedures, standard protocol, etc. At the end of the day, they were given their shifts, and they would start work at midnight. Maria signed up for a twelve-hour shift, which started at seven in the morning and went until about seven thirty at night. That nearly coincided with Alexis's shift, which was from eight in the morning to about ten at night.

Maria left the Asylum at around six at night under the direction of her sister (Maria intended on staying until Alexis's shift was over, but Alexis insisted that Maria get some rest). She left the Asylum campus and walked to a bus station, where she waited for about ten minutes. The bus picked her up and it drove towards the main city, over a long bridge separating Arkham Island from the rest of Gotham. Once in the city, Maria went to the nearest railway station, trying her best to blend into the population of Gotham. By day it seemed like any normal city, but once the sun closed its watchful eyes, criminals slipped out from hiding and wreaked havoc on the citizens. The Gotham News stopped reporting street murders, for they were all too common at this point.

She fingered the switchblade in her trouser pocket. Attached to it was the key to the apartment she shared with Alexis and her boyfriend. The bus stopped and she rushed off, spotting a train coming into the station and hoping she could reach it in time. After inserting her train tokens, she climbed up the tower to the railway and waited as the train slid to a halt. Once the doors opened, she stepped on and found a seat. The doors closed and the train moved on.

City lights blazed past her. The outside world was a blur. The train rattled slightly and the unrepaired lights flickered and buzzed. Sometimes she felt nervous as she rode on the train, which was in much need for a repair job, but the city refused to pay to rejuvenate it. Nevertheless, it got her home quickly and safely, and that was all she really cared about.  
>The apartment was on 5th Street. She got off at the Avenue E stop and had to walk two blocks to get home. As she neared her street, it seemed like the crowd of people had dispersed until she was the only one walking. Her stomach curled. Only a few more steps before she was safe.<p>

The scary thing about Gotham was that its people weren't even safe in their own houses.

She entered her building and walked up three floors. Down the shadowed, blue-carpeted corridor she went until she reached number 309. She pulled out the switchblade, stuck the key into the lock, turned it, and pushed the door in.

The television was on. Jake was home.

"Hello, Jake," Maria said quietly as she shut the door behind her and placed her coat on the coat hanger. Jake didn't turn to face her, nor did he even mumble a "Hello". Maria wasn't sure why Jake was so hostile towards her, especially since she was good about paying her share of the rent and bills and kept out of the way as much as possible. At the moment Jake was watching the news and flipping through the Business section of the _Gotham Gazette_. He was part of an internship program at the Gotham Stock Exchange, and within the next two months he would be taking his exam and be interviewed in hopes of getting a job there. That added stress made him even more irritable.

The apartment had two rooms. The larger one, the main room, was the living room, kitchen, dining room, and water closet (behind a curtain there was a toilet and a shower). Behind a door was the bedroom, where Alexis and Jake slept. Maria had the couch, although at the moment she couldn't get the sleep she wanted. She retreated to the bookshelf, where Alexis had started collecting some medical books for her library. Alexis even set aside a few shelves for Maria to start storing her books. At the moment, Maria only had her textbooks from college. She slid one out, sat on a chair at the dining area, and started flipping through it. For what seemed like hours she sat there, only half-heartedly reading the words she had been tested on since freshman year. She knew the terms and definitions by rote, the procedures were now muscle memory; there wasn't much else Maria thought she had to learn. But there was much more to nursing than what the textbooks went over, and Maria was about to discover that.


	2. The Angel Glow

Chapter Two: The Angel Glow

She woke up at six twenty that morning. It was a little later than usual for a workday, but Maria was so exhausted that she didn't mind that she was slightly behind schedule. She pulled herself up from the couch, grabbed her uniform, a light gray dress, and slipped it on over her bra and underwear (which she slept in the previous night). Next she went into the kitchen and grabbed a bowl, a spoon, a box of cereal, and some milk. She prepared her breakfast and ate rather slowly to prevent indigestion. While she ate she sat on her bed and watched the early morning Gotham News.  
>By six forty-five, Maria had finished her breakfast and was drying her bowl. Alexis emerged from her bedroom and turned on the coffee pot, rubbing the sleep out of her bleary eyes. Maria tried a tired smile, and Alexis grinned back weakly.<br>"How is work coming along, Maria?" asked Alexis as she reached into a cupboard and grabbed a mug. Maria shrugged.  
>"It's certainly not the most glamorous job," she murmured, "but I enjoy it." Alexis's grin grew.<br>"I had a feeling you would like being a nurse. You always liked helping people, and you have a gift for it," she said. Shyly, Maria rubbed the back of her neck.  
>"Thanks, Alexis," she responded with a small smile. "That means a lot coming from you." She glanced towards the clock on the wall and said that she had to get going. After grabbing her coat, switchblade key, and shoes, she left the apartment and went towards the train station. She reached the asylum just in time for her shift to start. After clipping on her I.D., she went to the second floor to respond to a page.<p>

She entered room 210 and found that it belonged to a woman. The woman lay on her bed curled up on her side, like she was trying to protect herself. Attaching her to the bed was a chained rope laced around her ankle. Quietly, Maria entered the room and looked down at her clipboard.  
>The patient was named Clarice Montellegro. She was nineteen, formerly a college student, and had been on suicide watch for the past couple of days. Bandages around her wrists marked where she had bled profusely, but not enough to take her own life.<br>"She's receiving a blood transfusion today," said Dr. Crane as he stepped into the room. "The rest of the team should be here soon." Maria turned around to face him. She hadn't seen him since the day before her first day on the job. He seemed just as cold and aloof as ever.  
>"Team? What do you mean by 'team'?" she asked.<br>"We need a team to keep her under control while I tranquilize her," he responded. "She's too volatile for one nurse to handle." Maria glanced towards Clarice. She was breathing normally; slow, quiet breaths. No strange noises leaked from her. She wasn't trembling or having a fit. She was perfectly sedate.  
>"Are you sure, Doctor? She seems fine," Maria said. A wry smile formed on Dr. Crane's lips.<br>"That's because you haven't approached her with a needle yet, Miss DuPont. Observe." He took a needle from the table another nurse brought in, which contained a clear solution, and took a few steps towards Clarice. Clarice peeked up upon hearing the footsteps and instantly drew back. She bore her teeth and made a hissing sound. "Come now, don't be afraid," he said to the patient, his voice icy and smooth. He took another step and she thrust herself backward and against the wall. Her entire form was shaking and her eyes were wide as she stared at Dr. Crane. She hit her body against the wall, either trying to scale or break through it. "It's just a little needle, nothing to be afraid of." He glanced over his shoulder towards Maria. "Do you see what I mean? I need her tied down to a chair before I can sedate her," he stated. Maria's stomach churned a little. The team of three, two nurses and an orderly, reached for Clarice and grabbed her by the limbs. Each nurse took an arm and shoulder while the orderly gripped her legs.  
>"Well, come on," one of the nurses hissed towards Maria, "help us out!" Maria, who was briefly dumbfounded, snapped out of her daze and rushed to help her colleagues. Clarice writhed in their grasps, kicking her legs fiercely at the doctor. Maria gripped one of Clarice's legs, giving the orderly a window to properly seize the leg on his side. Clarice was flailing her arms as well, but not nearly as strongly as she was kicking.<br>_"There's something that's bothering her, and I don't think it's the needles," _Maria pondered. She helped the rest of the team bring Clarice to a chair. The orderly gripped her legs tightly and knelt down, putting all of his weight on them, while Maria was positioned behind the chair holding down Clarice's shoulders. The other two nurses worked on tying Clarice to the chair. The whole time the patient relentlessly kicked at the orderly while writhing the rest of her body in an attempt to break free. Things became worse when Dr. Crane approached with the needle filled with the sedation drug. He tried to take Clarice's arm and hold it flat, but she was not cooperating, causing Dr. Crane to accidentally spew the serum out of the needle and onto the floor. Maria came out from behind the chair and volunteered to hold Clarice's arm down while Dr. Crane went to the table to get another dose. The nurses worked on cleaning up the mess and the orderly rushed out of the room to help with another, even stronger, patient. Clarice seemed to become calmer and was less reluctant to having her arm held out. However, once Dr. Crane approached with the needle, the patient began having a fit. She pulled at her binds and screamed and cried. The nurses rushed to hold her down. Maria, who had grabbed Clarice's legs, looked up at the traumatized patient and could see the sheer terror in her eyes. Clarice found herself unable to take her eyes off of Dr. Crane, even though he was the source of the fear. Maria's eyes widened.  
>"Dr. Crane, get away from her!" Maria exclaimed as she stood.<br>"Why should I do that?" Dr. Crane questioned, a little annoyed.  
>"Don't you understand? She's afraid of you!"<br>"Yes, Miss DuPont, we've established that already," responded Dr. Crane as he tried to insert the needle again, but to no avail.  
>"No, you said she's afraid of needles. She's actually afraid of <em>you<em>, Dr. Crane. And not just you. She's afraid of _all_ men!" Dr. Crane looked at her. She bit her lip, her legs shaking, her mind realizing what she just did. What gave _her_ the right, a mere nurse, to defy the judgment of a doctor, her superior? Her stomach flip-flopped. Dr. Crane stood. He was taller than her by at least five inches. In his school days he was known for his lanky, skeletal frame. He looked down at her with those cold blue eyes of his. That stare made her freeze. She could barely catch her breath.  
>"What makes you so sure of that, Miss DuPont?" he asked.<br>"Just…leave the room…leave the room and you'll see," she stammered. A sigh escaped his lips and he removed his glasses.  
>"We really don't have time-"<br>"Please, let me give her the needle. It will go by much faster if I do it. Just watch, please. Go into the hallway and watch through the window," Maria spat out quickly. She was breathing heavily like she was afraid for her life. She would argue that she feared Dr. Crane himself more than Clarice feared the man.  
>Dr. Crane stared at Maria. He could see the determination flaring in her olive green eyes. She wanted to help this poor woman. She wanted to understand her. He hadn't seen passion like that in a colleague for a long time. He had to agree, and so he handed the needle to Maria, stepped into the hallway, and closed the door, from where he would simply watch through a small window.<br>"What do you think you're doing?" one of the nurses hissed.  
>"Please, trust me on this," Maria said calmly, trying to regain her composure. Holding the needle, Maria approached the chair Clarice was tied to. She was wiggling some, trying to escape from the chair, but at least she wasn't violently kicking and screaming. "Ssssh," Maria gently hushed the patient as she knelt beside her. "It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you," she murmured. She made sure to look straight into Clarice's wide, terrified blue eyes. They were a lovely shade of dark ocean blue. Maria reached out and softly gripped Clarice's shoulder, hoping that she could build a connection between the two of them. Clarice stared back at Maria, silent, her breaths slowing down. Her eyes seemed to weakly cry "Help me…"<br>Clarice's eyelids drooped closed. Maria had administered the drug. The patient's entire body went limp and she threatened to slide out of the chair. The nurses heaved relieved sighs, and Maria beamed. She glanced towards the window, where Dr. Crane was watching with one hand on his chin as if he was taking interest. She nodded, and Dr. Crane opened the door. His face was statue-esque, stone cold and relaying no emotion. He slid his glasses over his eyes, his gaze on the sleeping patient.  
>"I assume you know how to perform a blood transfusion, Miss DuPont. Since you seem to be doing well with this patient, I'll leave it to you," he stated coldly. Maria stared at him with wide eyes.<br>"B-but…Dr. Crane I have other patients-"  
>"Shelia and Jacqueline can take care of that," he interrupted, referring to the other two nurses. They nodded and Maria switched clipboards with Shelia, who was supposed to perform the transfusion. The nurses helped Maria bring Clarice to her bed, and Maria set up the blood bags. She then inserted the needle into Clarice's arm and began the transfusion.<br>The procedure would take about four hours to complete, which meant that Maria was stuck in the room until someone else came to supervise the process. After getting the circulation starting, Maria glanced around the room in search of some reading material to pass the time. Clarice's file had been left on the table near the door, so Maria decided she should read it (already she had broken the rule of reading the file of a patient before taking action, but no one seemed to notice that).  
>The file was rather thick because it contained two sets of records from two different hospitals. The papers in the back were from Gotham General Hospital and had details on a variety of internal injuries she received. Most of the injuries were located in her lower area, but it seemed like she suffered some head trauma also. Following the hospital records were police reports showing that she had been found at the scene of a drug bust. The reports showed that she had been frequenting the dealer for some time, and the hard drugs she had gotten into already began to take a toll on her system. Moreover, the injuries she suffered from were results of a brutal rape.<br>"That must be why she's afraid of men," Maria murmured. She glanced towards Clarice, who was sleeping peacefully as the blood was being transferred into her system. "How could they not realize that? Did they not read her files?" A sigh fell from her. "Or maybe they never cared enough."


	3. Lighting A Star

Chapter Three: Lighting a Star

There was a knock on Alexis's office door. Alexis glanced up from her paperwork and lunch. She saw the visitor's silhouette and knew automatically who it was. A frustrated sigh escaped her lips.

"Come in," she said.

Dr. Crane stepped inside. Alexis pushed a smile and turned her chair towards him.

"Do you have more drugs to experiment with, Doctor?" she asked, half-facetiously.

"Actually, not at the moment, Dr. DuPont," Dr. Crane replied wryly. "There's something I want to talk to you about. It's your sister." As he said this, he took a seat across from her. Alexis straightened up her posture.

"Is she okay? She hasn't done anything wrong, has she?" Alexis asked, concern saturating her voice. Dr. Crane shook his head.

"No…actually…I came here to say that I was impressed with her work today," he said, his voice rather subdued. Alexis beamed.

"Really? What did she do?" she asked excitedly. Dr. Crane leaned a little back into his chair, avoiding eye contact momentarily, as if he was ashamed that an inferior was able to get his job done more efficiently than he was able to. Especially since he wanted to test his prototype on Clarice…

"You know Clarice Montellegro on hospital floor three?"

"She's the rape victim from the drug bust, correct?"

"Yes. Ah…your sister was able to tranquilize her almost single-handedly…and as we speak she's performing a blood transfusion." Alexis crossed her arms, smiling wryly.

"And you approved of this, Doctor?" she inquired. Dr. Crane rubbed the back of his neck.

"Well…ah…at first I didn't…but she proved me wrong I guess." He paused momentarily, bringing his gaze to the ground. "Did you know that Clarice is afraid of men?"

"I wouldn't. She's not one of my main patients. I'm with the psychopaths, remember? Did Maria figure that out and inform you?" Dr. Crane nodded. "Why are you telling me this, Jonathan?" He shifted slightly in his seat, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"I just…I figured you would want to know that she's doing well," he responded.

"Have you spoken to her recently?" He shook his head. She leaned forward a little. "Why don't you? This will be a good chance to work on your social skills."

"I don't think she likes me very much," he answered quietly. He felt like he was slowly shriveling into nothing. That was why he considered not speaking to Alexis at all. She had mastered the ability of making him feel small and destroying the little confidence he had. But he had to tell someone. _Someone _had to know of what he witnessed: that skill, that raw passion for the job, the light of her kindness. It struck him and left him completely dumbfounded.

Alexis smirked.

"Maria likes everyone," she stated. "What makes you think she doesn't like you?" Dr. Crane shrugged. He didn't want to state his real reason. Not until his position was safe and secure.

"I just…don't think she does. She avoids eye contact, and whenever I pass her in a corridor she bows her head and rushes past me," he explained. Alexis crossed her arms.

"Weren't you like that too during your first few months on the job, Doctor? To some degree you are _still _like that." Dr. Crane was silent. Alexis's lips curled into a small, kind smile. "You know, I think she's under the impression that you don't like her very much either. Why don't you prove the both of you wrong and talk to her?"

"Why are you…?" He paused, wanting to ask why Alexis wanted him to talk with Maria, but instead he nodded, deciding not to fight her any longer. No matter what he tried, she would win. She had the gift of reading people. His biggest fear was her realizing his deeper motive, but it seemed like she trusted him enough because she was actually encouraging him to talk to Maria. He stood.

"Thank you Dr. DuPont," he said as he left. Alexis nodded and returned to her normal sitting position at her desk. She released a small sigh.

"Call me by my first name, you twit," she mumbled. "Like you used to."

* * *

><p>There was a knock on the patient's door. Maria glanced up from the sleeping Clarice (she was in the middle of taking a pulse) and saw Dr. Crane's face in the window. Her eyes widened slightly.<p>

"Ah…c-come in," she said hesitantly. Dr. Crane nodded and stepped inside, cautiously opening and closing the door. Maria sheepishly bowed her head for a moment, and then brought her gaze back to Clarice. "She's about halfway through," she added quietly, figuring that Dr. Crane wanted an update on Clarice's condition. "All of her systems seem normal. Although…it would be a lot easier to measure her heart rate if we had a heart monitor, Doctor."

"I'm sorry about that, Miss DuPont," he replied as he stepped further into the room, "but Arkham is rather ill-equipped at this time. We need to make-do with what we have."

"Oh…I-I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining, Doctor," Maria spat out rapidly. "It's just I'm afraid of not getting an accurate reading and creating danger for the patient, that's all. Please, d-don't think I'm saying anything bad about the hospital…"

"Don't worry about it, Miss DuPont. Our sentiments are mutual." There was a long silence. Maria turned back to Clarice and glanced at the blood bags. The last few drops of blood were dripping out of the first bag. She brought the second bag closer to the bed and switched the end of the catheter to the second bag. Then she checked Clarice's pulse again. Dr. Crane just stood there, unsure of what he should do. He was never that great at making small talk.

"Ah…do you like your job?" he asked in a desperate attempt to break the silence. A small smile curled on Maria's lips.

"Yes, very much," she responded lightly. Another period of silence followed. The smile Maria wore faded, finishing off with a sigh. "Um…Dr. Crane…I want to apologize for how I behaved earlier," she added quietly. His eyes widened slightly.

"Why do you feel the need to apologize?" he asked. She bowed her head.

"It's just…I feel like I did the wrong thing…stepping out of line, taking over your job, going against you. It…it wasn't my place. A-and I'm afraid that you're upset with me for that, and I'm afraid that Alexis will lose her creditability because of something _I _did." Maria felt like she might cry. Her throat burned and her head ached. It felt like a pit had opened in her stomach. "I've wanted to be a nurse since I was a little girl…I love this job…I don't want to lose it…"

Dr. Crane stepped closer towards her. There it was again: the pure, unselfish love for the job. She wanted to help people; that reason why she chose to be a nurse. What was _his _reason? The thought of it made his stomach churn. His reasoning certainly wasn't as pure as hers.

"There's no need to get upset…you've done nothing wrong," he tried. This didn't seem to help her out much. "You show much more initiative than some of the doctors here do, and you're the most compassionate nurse….so there's no reason for us to fire you." Relief washed over him when he spotted the smile returning to Maria's face.

"Thank you, Dr. Crane," she said softly as she turned to face him. "Sometimes…it's just nice to hear kind words from others…"

"Is that your biggest fear?" questioned Dr. Crane.

"Ah…excuse me?" Maria gulped.

"Fear of failure? Atychiphobia?"

"Oh…I…I never really thought about it. I guess…" she pondered, her voice trailing off quietly.

"Are you feeling all right, Miss DuPont? You look a little pallid," Dr. Crane remarked.

"Huh? Oh, y-yes I'm fine," Maria stammered back. "I just…haven't eaten since breakfast…maybe I should take a quick break…grab a snack."

"No, you're due for a lunch break, I would say. You've worked hard. Take some time off," he said. Warmth seeped into Maria's cheeks.

"I-I really shouldn't…and I need to stay here with the patient-"

"Actually, my lunch break just ended," he interrupted her, his eyes on his watch, "and I'm supposed to be here to check up on Miss Montellegro anyway."

"Oh, did I take up your entire lunch break? I'm terribly sorry, Doctor!"

"No, it's all right. I ate before I came here," he lied. "Go ahead…" Maria nodded and placed her clipboard on the table next to Clarice's bed.

"Thank you very much, Dr. Crane," she said as she opened the door and left the room.

He approached the bed. Clarice was fast asleep and the blood continued to pump into her dark, filthy vein. His gaze trailed to the blood bag and down the catheter into her arm. This was the closest he had ever been to her.

Her blood vessels were thick and dirty, like they were clogged dish drains. Eventually the veins vanished into the protective skin of her arm, but the sight of the dirty lines scarring her perfect, snow white skin was an image forever engraved in his memory. Even after what became of her, what became of him, the memory refused to be washed away. He couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if this wretched girl hadn't been found by the police days earlier at the scene of a drug bust. She probably would have died. And then what? Life would have simply stepped over her body and kept walking without remorse. She would be one less waste of oxygen, one less quivering mass of nothing that feared everything.

"Who am I to have these thoughts?" Dr. Crane asked himself. "What makes me superior to her?"


	4. What You Are

Chapter Four: What You Are

"The basement is for the special cases," Alexis explained as she led Maria into one of the screeching metal death traps they called elevators. Maria wanted to take the stairs, but she was pulling a tray of supplies alongside her, therefore the elevator was the necessary vehicle of transportation.

"What sort of special cases?" asked Maria softly.

"The worst of the criminally insane," she responded. "They are the ones who relish in their horrible crimes and the destruction they've caused. It's disgusting."

"I see," Maria mumbled.

The two women entered the holding chamber, a large shadowy room with two rows of cells parallel to each other. Each room was sealed by a heavy iron door. A thick window of glass, nearly the size of an entire wall, allowed the psychiatrists to see into the cells easily. Pods of white-coated doctors stood scattered at the different cells with clipboards in hand as they jotted down notes. Maria barely had time to take in her surroundings, for Alexis was leading her quickly to one of the cells. A small group of fellow medical specialists awaited them.

"Good morning, Dr. DuPont," they all greeted Alexis with bows of the head and small voices.

"Anything new to report about Mr. Chapman?" Alexis asked. Maria glanced into the cell, wanting to get a good look at the patient. He looked small and gray in that little cell of his. Dark bags hung under otherwise young eyes. The chart said he was in his early thirties. What a terrible waste of his time! He could have been using his youthful energy to make Gotham a better place. Yet there he was, curled up alone and cold in a cell in the basement of a mental hospital. She couldn't help but pity this poor man.

"Nothing, doctor. We just need your approval to release him," one of the doctors said.

"Perfect," Alexis replied as she stepped towards the door to the cell. She opened up the keypad, punched in a code, and the door clicked.

"Why are you releasing him, Alexis? Isn't he…"

"That's what we're trying to prove…or disprove is probably the proper term," Alexis responded. She, along with Maria and a few other doctors, entered a thin antechamber, which was the space between the two cells. Alexis then slipped a key out of her pocket and stuck it into the keyhole. "Mr. Chapman has been here for about two years," Alexis explained. "He was tried for murdering his landlady and his defense pleaded insanity. He was able to convince the court that he's insane and was sent here. However, my team and I have been observing him and we don't believe he is quite damaged enough to be considered crazy."

"Oh…what will happen if he passes the mental aptitude test?" Maria pressed. Alexis let out a small sigh.

"We'll have no choice but to let him go. We can't even send him to prison on those charges because they've already been cleared. These little details are bothersome, aren't they?"

"Then why don't we just keep him here? Isn't it safer that way?"

"Maria, he's taking up our resources. It's a waste of time to be treating someone with mental insanity regiments if he actually isn't insane. It's like taking cold medicine when you don't have a cold," Alexis pushed out, beginning to grow a little annoyed. Maria, sensing the tightness in her sister's tone, didn't press any further. Alexis opened the door into the main chamber and Maria quickly scurried in, followed by a few other doctors.

Mr. Chapman was sitting on his bed. He looked up, quivering. His eyes were glued to Maria.

"New…new face," he mumbled. Maria tried smiling. That always seemed to help warm things up a little.

"Hello," she said gently to the patient. "My name is Maria DuPont. I'll be checking you before you proceed with the examination." Before the examination could begin, Maria had to test his vitals, as was protocol before all medical examinations, even the psychiatric ones. She started by pulling out a thermometer and taking his temperature. She followed that up with a blood pressure test and a pulse evaluation. He was quite skittish and twitched every time she touched him. His pulse was racing. The bewildered look on his face told her that he was anxious about something. After writing down her reports, she turned the floor over to her sister and her team.

A new pod of voices entered the corridor. Maria found it hard to tell how many people there were, considering that there were layers of glass between her and the group. Her eyes trailed towards the outside hall and laid themselves on Dr. Crane, who was leading the group down the hallway and towards the cell. He instructed the group to wait there for a moment while he entered the door to the antechamber.

"Ah, excuse me, Dr. DuPont, would you mind if my students observed this examination?" he asked rather quickly.

"By all means, Dr. Crane," Alexis responded with a smile. "You're welcome to turn on the intercom so your students can hear us better." Dr. Crane nodded and slipped out of the room.

"Now that that's all settled," Maria heard him say, "can anyone explain what the AAMAT is?" A girl with blonde hair raised her hand.

"The Arkham Asylum Mental Aptitude Test, commonly known as simply the AAMAT or the MAT is a test given to all patients at Arkham Asylum periodically to test their mental capacities. Those who pass the test are eligible for release, but they must pass an additional part in order to actually be released," the girl said, as if reciting from memory. Dr. Crane nodded.

"Yes, Miss Quinzelle, very good," he said. "Today we will observe one of my colleagues, Dr. DuPont, as she administers the second portion of the test." Maria's gaze was glued briefly to the blonde girl. Anger boiled up inside of her, bubbling more with each passing second. The movements of the doctors in the corner of her eye drew Maria's attention away from the egg-headed student.

The test itself was a seemingly simple procedure, but much reflection and evaluation went into determining if one passed or failed it. The first portion was an evaluation sheet that was completed solely by a doctor. During the second portion, the patient was an active participant. Alexis, as well as some of the other doctors, had Mr. Chapman answer some questions or complete a task. Maria glanced around, seeing that nearly every person witnessing the event was jotting down notes. The blonde student excitedly scribbled something onto her notepad.

Maria looked down at Mr. Chapman. He kept his distance from Alexis, curling his body inward, like he was trying to protect himself. He never made eye contact; his gaze was always on the floor. How could a man so pale and fragile commit such a terrible act as murder? How could hands so afraid of feeling objects and people know the warmth of blood? How could eyes so terrified of light have witnessed life draining out of another human's body?

_"He'll never survive," _Maria's inner voice lamented. _"If he's released, he will plunge into darkness, and he probably will have no hope of returning." _

The test was completed. Alexis said a word of thanks to Mr. Chapman and led the group out of his cell. Maria was the last one out. She glanced over her shoulder before closing the door, hoping to grab one last look at the pathetic soul, wishing that there was something she could do to help him, knowing that she couldn't. She couldn't help but wonder why this person attracted her so. She wanted to run to him and embrace him tightly and tell him that everything was going to be okay. She would be there to care for him. It was the same instinct that took her over when she saw Clarice for the first time. Weak, defenseless, low, foul creatures those people were. Anyone from the outside was an angel to them.

Maria stopped near Dr. Crane and his group. Their eyes met briefly, and shortly after that he instructed his students to observe on their own for a little while. He looked over his shoulder, spotting Alexis and her team leaving the area. No doubt they were going to a conference room to discuss Mr. Chapman's fate.

"What do you think?" he asked her, his voice subdued. Maria crossed her arms over her stomach, her gaze glued to Mr. Chapman, who was starting to move again. He pulled at his gray prison outfit as if he was trying to straighten out the folds and crinkles in the fabric. He took a sip from the cup of water that was sitting on his nightstand, and then he proceeded to straighten the bedding on his cot. Once all that was straightened out, he let himself fall back onto the cot.

"He's not insane," Maria replied, "but there's definitely something wrong with him. If we release him, he won't survive in Gotham."

"What makes you say that?" he pressed. Her gaze trailed to him momentarily.

_"Why does he interrogate me every time I see him? It's like he's testing me or something," _her inner voice questioned, annoyed.

"It was his pulse. It was racing. Even when I wasn't touching him I could sense his anxiety welling up. I think that it was caused by being around unfamiliar people," she explained.

"So you're saying that he will suffer from a mental breakdown shortly after being released?"

"It's possible," she replied quietly. "I mean…if he truly has a fear of people, and he is exposed to them in high concentrations, his anxiety could drive him to depression…or even madness."

"That's quite the hypothesis you are making, Miss DuPont," Dr. Crane remarked. Maria looked away from him. "Why don't you try to plead your case to the council? I'm sure they would love to hear it."

"My sister would be furious. She's been trying to discharge Mr. Chapman for a while now. She says he's a waste of space," she explained softly.

"Aren't we all?" Dr. Crane pointed out, humor riding on his tone.

"I really shouldn't go against her judgment. She's the older and more experienced one, after all. Her opinions have much more value than mine do."

"Never underestimate the power of a single mind," he said, almost like he was lightly reprimanding her for having such pessimistic thoughts. Maria faced him again, the momentum allowing her to make eye contact for more than a few seconds. Once those few seconds passed, she broke the connection. It actually made her eyes tear to look into his icy gaze for more than a moment or so. There was something cold and uninviting in his stare: he intrigued those around him to take a peek, and then pushed them away once they got interested.

"Maybe you should say something to her, Dr. Crane," Maria suggested. "I have a feeling she would be more open to listening to you. At least you're on her level." Dr. Crane shook his head.

"That isn't the case. I only work here part time for my research. Dr. DuPont has much more power than I do," he corrected her. Maria frowned slightly.

"I don't like this," she said. "We're talking about my sister like she's a tyrant. Maybe I should just go." The hard look on Dr. Crane's face softened a little. He became utterly speechless.

"W-wait…Miss DuPont," he stuttered. Maria continued like she didn't hear him.


	5. My Heart Beats the Faster

Chapter Five: My Heart Beats the Faster

Maria held a digital reader in her left hand and a needle in her right. She was presenting these items to Clarice, who was sitting upright in bed. The transfusion Maria had completed was a success, and since then Clarice received another one. She was almost in good health and was going to be able to be transferred out of the intensive care wing and into the psychiatric ward.

"I just need to quickly prick your finger to check your blood levels, okay Clarice?" Maria said, her voice light and kind. Clarice responded with a small smile and a nod. After cleaning off Clarice's finger with a wipe, Maria quickly pricked it and squeezed the blood into her reader. She put the reader on a side table and carefully wrapped a bandage around the tiny puncture.

"There, that wasn't so bad," she added cheerfully. She glanced towards the reader and her smile grew bigger. "Your blood levels are fine. You've almost reached a full recovery!"

"Nurse Maria…what will happen when I've recovered?" asked Clarice softly. Maria tossed the needle into the wastebasket.

"Oh…ah…you'll be sent to the psychiatric ward. They'll be able to help you there with your…your fear," Maria responded hesitantly.

"Will _he _be there?" Clarice pressed, her eyes widening and her form beginning to tremble.

"I'll make sure that you'll only see female doctors," said Maria calmly.

"I don't want him to see me…I don't want him to talk to me…I don't want him to ask me questions," the patient muttered.

"I'll take care of everything, Clarice," Maria told her reassuringly, "you don't have to be afraid." Clarice took in a deep breath and exhaled her words.

"Nothing can stop me from being afraid…"

* * *

><p>It was a normal Thursday evening at Gotham State University. Students excitedly flocked to the student center for their dinner, discussing their plans for the weekend. No one would have noticed that three students were missing from the meal that night. They were all students of psychology, and they all had attended the same class before they disappeared. Their classmates would have said that the professor asked them to stay behind for a little while to participate in an experiment. It seemed like the highest honor to be a participant in, let alone witness, one of the professor's experiments.<p>

The students were each locked in a separate room. The rooms were located in the basement of the social sciences building, unused for years. That was why they were the perfect controlled areas for experiments.

"Professor Crane…can you explain what's going on again, please?" one of the students asked. She was already trembling, scared out of her wits.

"No need to be scared yet," replied Dr. Crane with a twisted smile, "the experiment hasn't even begun." He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a needle. The girl instantly recoiled at the sight, her eyes wide with terror. He gripped her arm and held it steady while he injected the toxin. She pulled away just as he finished the injection. Once the needle had been emptied, Dr. Crane pulled out a stopwatch and started it. "Now…it's only a matter of time before the chemicals circulating in your blood reach your brain and cause the reaction…"

Within about ten seconds, the girl let out a terrible, blood-curdling scream. Dr. Crane's sick grin grew bigger as he slipped out of the room. He locked the door behind him and looked into the room through the window on the door. On his notepad he scribbled the words: "10 secs: subject begins having hallucinations".

"No…no! NO! GET AWAY FROM ME, PLEASE!" the girl wailed. She was flailing about, crashing into the discarded chairs and tables that were littered about the room. Whatever she feared was on the ground peering up at her. She jumped onto a table, shaking uncontrollably, screaming and crying. "Please…please don't eat me, DON'T EAT ME! GO AWAY!" The girl remained in this state for about three minutes, and then suddenly she became perfectly sedate. Her body became so relaxed that she fell to the ground. She was still breathing. There was no way a serum of such a low concentration could have permanent or deadly effects. After some rest she would return to normal. He had laced the serum with a memory drug, so she would have no recollections of the past hour or so. She would wake up in her dorm room safe and sound like nothing had ever happened, and the secret experiments of Dr. Crane would remain unknown.

"Let's see what happens if we try a different dose," he said to himself as he pulled out another needle and proceeded to the next room.


	6. Trembling Voices

Chapter Six: Trembling Voices

Maria sat at the table with a plate of pasta noodles with red sauce and a phone book. The city was so densely populated that each district had its own fully sized book. She was scanning through the pages of the University District, figuring that the person she was trying to contact took up residency there. At first she thought it would be easier to just ask Alexis what his phone number was, but she didn't want Alexis making incorrect assumptions. Maria decided it would just be better to keep it a secret.

After searching for about ten minutes, Maria gave up. His name was not listed, even though many of the other professors were. A heavy sigh escaped her lips. She wasn't sure when she would see him again, and she had to get the aching feeling out of her system. She stood and went to the phone, where she dialed the number of the University office (this was one she had memorized).

"You have reached the Gotham State University Main Office. Our business hours are from nine A.M. to four P.M. on weekdays and Saturdays, and from eleven A.M. to three P.M. on Sundays. If you would like to speak to a representative, please press one…"

Maria pressed one. There was silence for a moment.

"We are sorry; your request could not be processed. Please try again during normal business hours. Thank you and have a pleasant day." Pushing out an exasperated sigh, Maria hung up. She waited a few moments, and then tried again. It was eight at night.

"You have reached the Gotham State University Main Office. Our business hours are from nine A.M. to four P.M. on weekdays and Saturdays, and from eleven A.M. to three P.M. on Sundays. If you would like to speak to a representative, please press one. If you would like to contact an administrator or professor, please press two…"

She tried two. There was silence.

"Please dial the number corresponding to the discipline of the administrator or professor you would like to contact. Social Sciences-one, Humanities-two, Applied Sciences-three…"

She pressed one. There was a pause.

"Please dial the number corresponding to the department of the administrator or professor you would like to contact. Anthropology-one, Cultural and Ethnic Studies-two, Psychology-three…"

She dialed three. Another pause.

"Please dial the number corresponding to the administrator or professor you would like to contact. Dr. Mayelle Abrams-one, Dr. Beauford Cox-two, Dr. Jonathan Crane-three…"

She pressed three.

"Transferring…"

There was a brief dial tone.

"Hello, you have reached the office of Dr. Jonathan Crane, Professor of Subliminal Psychology at Gotham State University. I am unable to take your call right now. Please leave a message after the tone. If you need to reach me immediately, dial 555-9315. Thank you." Maria dashed for a pen and paper and scribbled the number down, praying that she didn't miss a digit. She hung up just as the tone beeped.

"I wonder if all this is even worth it," she muttered as she picked up the phone again and dialed the new number. The door clicked open and Alexis stepped in. Gasping, Maria shoved the phone back into the receiver.

"Oh, sorry, was I interrupting a call?" Alexis asked as she hung up her jacket.

"No, I was just finishing, actually," Maria lied. She glanced around the room for a bit, trying to find a topic of conversation. "Ah…where's Jake?" she asked.

"Oh, did I not tell you? Jake got the job. His new boss invited him to dinner. I was invited too, so I'm just going to change into something nice." She tore her shoes off and sprinted towards her room. Within a matter of minutes she was dressed in semi-formal attire and was ready to go.

"Tell him I said congratulations," Maria said. Alexis nodded and left as she pulled on her coat. Maria let out a relieved sigh. "Now…back to my dilemma," she mumbled as she dialed the number again. The dial tone went on for about ten seconds. There was a click.

"Hello?" Maria's heart jumped. She was only half expecting to get an answer.

"Ah…i-is this Dr. Crane?" she asked, her voice soft and mousy.

"Speaking."

"Oh…hello, this is Maria DuPont," she spoke quietly.

"Miss DuPont? Oh…good evening."

"Good evening. I'm really sorry for calling so late. Am I interrupting anything?"

"No…I was just looking at some research notes," he replied.

"What sort of research are you conducting, Doctor?"

"Ah…is there a reason why you called, Miss DuPont? Forgive me for sounding rude, but I wasn't expecting…"

"Oh, yes! I'm sorry! Yes, yes there is a reason why I called!" she interrupted frantically. "It's just…our conversation from earlier today has been bugging me a lot today. I just…I feel like I gave you the wrong idea..."

"There's no need to apologize, Miss DuPont. I understand…"

"But I really should apologize…so…I'm sorry if I made it seem I was upset with you…because I'm not. I should have waited until I saw you in person, but I wasn't sure when that would be…and this guilt has been nagging me all day, so…I'm sorry…I'm truly very sorry." She was holding the phone with both hands, like she was cradling it by her ear, one gripping the handle and the other lightly supporting the speaking end. Her back was nervously pressed against the wall.

"It really isn't a problem at all, Miss DuPont. I'll have you know that I'm not the type of person who is easily offended," Dr. Crane replied. "Ah…and if I said anything that offended you…then I apologize," he added, his voice a little more subdued. "I've been told that I come off as rather cold…and I don't always mean to seem that way." He could tell that Maria was smiling on the other end.

"But you admit that there are times you mean to seem that way?" she inquired, lightly teasing him.

"You could say that…"

"I should probably get going," Maria suddenly remarked, her voice trembling slightly with a giddy nervousness. "I'm sorry for bothering you, Doctor."

"It's no trouble, Miss DuPont…"

"Oh…all right…well…ah…goodbye," she said sheepishly. She gently hung up the phone. Her fingers were trembling. A soft smile was pasted to her lips. Her heart was skipping. "Until next time…"


	7. Touching Your Hand

Chapter Seven: Touching Your Hand

Alexis's head was pounding. The persistent beeping of the alarm clock had never seemed so goddamn annoying before. She reached over, pounded the top with her fist, and allowed the weight of sleep to crush her once more.

The next thing that woke her up was someone shaking her shoulder. She tried to slap the person who was shaking her, but her flimsy palm never came in contact with skin.

"Alexis…Alexis…Lexi…it's time to get up," a soft voice whispered. It sounded just like her mother's.

"Five more minutes," Alexis mumbled. She felt little pats on her cheek.

"No, it's seven o'clock. Your shift starts in an hour," said the voice sternly.

"Fuck," she exhaled. She forced her eyes open. Everything was dark and blurry. Faint morning light filtered through the drapes, illuminating Maria's silhouette. Alexis sat up quickly, too quickly, for her head began to spin. She burped. It tasted of domestic beer and cheap wine. She remembered having the wine at dinner with that mustached man and his cohorts (and, of course, her boyfriend). But when the hell did the beer show up? Surely it was after they left dinner. They probably stopped by a liquor store, picked up a six pack, and rushed home so they could drink it all in peace. There was probably some congratulatory sex slipped into that chain of events.

"Hey…sorry if we woke you," Alexis mumbled as she climbed out of bed. She didn't have any underwear on: the only thing covering her was the giant t-shirt she usually wore to bed.

"No, it's fine. You weren't loud at all," Maria half-lied. When they entered the apartment at around midnight, Maria had been asleep for an hour or so. Her eyes had jolted open, for she thought that someone was trying to break in. But then she heard giggling and knew that it was just Alexis and Jake. With her mind relaxed she was able to fall asleep for a short amount of time. She was tossed out of her sleep again when someone entered the room, reached into the cabinet, and dropped a couple of glasses.

"Aw shit," Alexis had giggled as she stepped over the glasses she dropped. She retreated to the bedroom, so Maria felt that she should get out of bed and clean up the mess before someone got hurt. Once the glass was taken care of, she went back to sleep.

"You're a virgin, right Maria?" asked Alexis as they walked into the kitchen. Maria was ready to leave, and was almost out the door when Alexis asked the question.

"Oh…yes, of course," Maria answered sheepishly. Alexis reached into the cabinet for a bowl and a coffee cup.

"You need to find a guy who likes to take it slow. You're a tiny thing. A rough night will shake the stuffing out of you." She rummaged through the cabinet. "Where the hell are all the wine glasses?"

"I think you took four into the bedroom," Maria replied as she slipped on her coat and shoes. "The other two are in the trash."

"Aw shit," Alexis chortled. She then released a heavy sigh. "God I'm exhausted…"

"I'd love to stay and chat, Lexi, but I have to get going. My shift starts in twenty minutes," Maria said timidly.

"Huh? Oh yeah, sure, go for it!" Alexis answered, a kick of pep in her voice. "I'll just sit here and wait for the coffee to brew."

Maria left the apartment and caught the train just in time. As the train screeched and tottered down the track, she glanced around the cabin. The people accompanying her were roughly the same as the ones who traveled with her the day before, and the days before that as well. Her life, it seemed, was just one big constant. No surprises, no turns into strange lands, no excitement.

She stepped off of the train and rushed to the bus stop. The bus was just about to close its doors when Maria placed her foot on the steps. The driver had no choice but to let her in. She inserted her bus tokens and found a spot near the back, unaware of the other passengers for the moment. When she sat down and got herself comfortable, she spotted a familiar face in the corner of her eye. Pale skin illuminated by incredibly dark hair, thin, sharp glasses, lanky frame. He was leaning into a book that looked like it had seen better days. The pages were stained yellow, torn; the cover was faded and cracked.

"Good morning, Dr. Crane," Maria greeted him shyly. This was the first time she had ever noticed him on this particular bus. Had he always been a fellow passenger, and she just didn't realize it? Crane looked up from his book. His seat was right across the aisle from hers. He was sitting at the window, as was she.

"Good morning, Miss DuPont," he answered in the same low voice. They looked at each other for a few moments. Maria's lips curled into a small, friendly smile.

"Do you take the bus often?" she asked.

"Most of the time I do, just not this early. Usually my shifts start a little later," he explained.

"I see," replied Maria. "I was just wondering...because, well, I take this bus every day, and I could have sworn that I've never seen you here before."

"You have the morning shift every day?" Dr. Crane inquired, a perplexed flip in his voice. Maria gave a small shrug.

"Well…no one else really wanted to take it…" she responded softly.

"I see. And you work a twelve hour shift, do you not?"

"Ah…y-yes, I do," she said sheepishly.

"You shouldn't work too hard, Miss DuPont. I'm sure you know it's very easy to catch something once the body's defenses start to slack," he chided her lightly.

"I-I'll be fine!" she blurted out. "Really, I have lots of stamina. And, well, as long as I have the energy I should put myself to good use, right?"

"Whatever you say," he replied quietly.

"Ah…pardon me if I'm intruding, but who were those people you brought to the Asylum the other day?" she asked, feigning ignorance, trying to carry on the conversation.

"Those were my students," Dr. Crane answered. "I like to take my doctorate students to the Asylum from time to time so they get some real hands-on learning experience. It also gives me time to collect research notes and such."

"So that's why you work at the Asylum?" questioned Maria. It was her turn to be the interrogator. "For research purposes?"

"For the most part," he replied. "You've probably realized by now that they are a little short-staffed over there, so after my internship they offered me a full-time job. I told them that I wanted to pursue teaching, and once I got the job at Gotham University, I returned asking if I could use the Asylum for my research."

"That was kind of the Asylum to let you," she commented. Dr. Crane nodded in agreement. A long silence lingered between them. There was a strange pressure in Maria's throat, like a foreign object had taken roost there and was choking her words. She leaned back against the hard seat, her body shifting slightly out of discomfort. When she glanced out the window, she could see the Asylum perched on top of a hill, the gates firmly shut.

The bus pulled into the station and opened its screechy door. Maria and Dr. Crane rose at the same time, he let her go first, and the two stepped off of the bus. All that was left was to trek up the hill. The icy winter wind began to pick up a little. Maria closed her coat tightly and pulled her scarf over her mouth and nose, afraid that she would catch a cold. Dr. Crane didn't take any extra measures towards protecting himself besides stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Are you okay?" he asked, seeing that she was blowing into her cupped, unprotected hands. They were starting to turn red.

"Oh! Y-yes, I'm fine," she responded timidly. "I just…I forgot my gloves at home and this is the only way to keep my hands warm." Crane felt something leathery and warm in his pocket. When he pulled it out, he saw that it was a weathered old glove. The other pocket contained its partner.

"Perhaps…you could use these, if you'd like," he offered quietly as he held out the gloves. "They're a little old and worn, though." Maria smiled warmly.

"That's all right," she said happily as she accepted the gloves and pulled them on. "Thank you very much." The gloves were cracked and faded on the outside, but the inside still possessed some warmth. They were a little big on her and threatened to slip off. Despite that, her frozen fingers began to thaw, and moving them didn't hurt as much.

It didn't take the pair too long to reach the gates of the Asylum, for they were rushing up the hill to escape from the nipping cold. They flashed their ID tags and the guard let them in. Once they reached the entrance hall, they turned into opposite directions. Maria had to head to the Hospital wing, while Dr. Crane was going to the Psychiatric Ward. Before travelling far, Maria pivoted, realizing that she still had his gloves.

"Ah…D-Dr. Crane, your gloves!" she exclaimed. Dr. Crane glanced over his shoulder.

"It's all right…I don't really need them. Keep them, if you'd like," he responded. Maria stepped a little towards him, her mouth open to object, but Dr. Crane kept on his way, his hand raised as a way of silencing her. A soft smile passed over her lips as she watched his back shrink and disappear into the hallway. She held the gloves gently, afraid that if her grip was too tight they would break into dust. Her heart was fluttering and a nervous, giddy feeling was pulsing in her veins.

"Thank you," she whispered.

* * *

><p>Alexis didn't go to work that day. A little after Maria left, she made the decision to call in sick. Her head was throbbing madly and there was an empty feeling in her stomach that food wasn't enough to fill. She guessed that she drank too much and it made her ill.<p>

Jake wasn't scheduled to start his new job until the next Monday, so he was home with her. Alexis found little errands for him to run out and do. The mail had to be picked up, the garbage had to be taken out, and groceries had to be bought. Jake was out doing the third task and Alexis had the whole apartment to herself.

"Finally, some alone time," she mumbled as she leaned back on the couch. In her hands she held a photo album, while her Gotham University yearbook sat on the coffee table. She opened the album and started flipping through the pictures. Most of them were from her senior year at college, but there were some that were taken during her graduate years. She could see a few obvious differences between her undergrad and grad selves. Her hair was much shorter (it barely reached past her jaw) when she was younger, while in her graduate years she allowed it to grow. Faint dark circles became more apparent over the years. She lost about fifteen pounds during her sixth year at school, but then by the time she graduated she gained ten of them back. As an undergrad, she had many friends, and those friends were shown off in the photos from her first four years. Then most of those people graduated and attended other schools for their graduate degrees. That was when Jonathan Crane came into the picture.

He hadn't really changed much since college. His face may have matured a little, but he was still the lanky, bookish, timid man he always was. A playful smirk inched across her lips as she flipped through the pictures of the two of them. Since they were majoring in the same subject, they had many classes together, and eventually they became quite good friends. At some point in their school days, they became even more than friends.

"I still can't believe we actually dated for six months," she said to herself, her voice riding on a half-hearted laugh. Their relationship was never the same after they broke up. Alexis couldn't help but feel it was her fault. She was the one who pushed too much, the one who was being too strong, the one who forced him to stay. After meeting Jake, she had no problems with pushing Jonathan away. He seemed relieved, actually, to finally be out of a relationship he didn't even want. But Alexis would never know for sure how he really felt about her dropping him like a broken toy. "I was terrible to him…I really was." She sighed and closed the album. Then she gathered the album and the yearbook and returned them to the bookshelf. While she was there, she picked up an older looking album containing family photos. "He deserves much more than I can give him."

The album had a faded image of a sunflower on the cover. When she opened it, she came face to face with her young parents on their wedding day, their mouths opened in wide smiles.

The next few pages were snapshots from their honeymoon in Hawaii. Then came the baby pictures. First there was Maxwell's section, then hers, then Fern's, and finally Maria's. Alexis turned the page and found a picture of herself holding baby Maria. That was back when she wore her hair in twin braids. She was six when Maria was born. In the photograph, she was proudly displaying the baby she was holding in her arms, like she was offering it to the person taking the picture. Alexis couldn't help but chuckle at the picture.

"Even after all these years, I'm still doing that."

* * *

><p>The sign on Crane's office door said that he was taking his lunch break. However, he was not in the poorly sanitized hospital cafeteria. He was actually in the basement of the hospital wing hunched over a table. In the dim light he was mixing a concoction of chemicals. The liquid in his test tube had a bright amber color to it and a faint aroma. His gaze was locked on the mixture as he stirred it. He then reached for a spatula and dipped it into a tray of yellow powder, using it to measure out exactly how much he wanted for the mixture. Carefully he fed the thin spatula into the test tube, allowing the yellow powder to drop in and dissolve. A faint fizzing sound rose from the test tube. Grinning, he placed the spatula on his tool tray and grabbed a stirring rod, which he used to stir the powder into the liquid. The mixture began to take on a darker orange tint.<p>

"Almost complete," he murmured. He removed the large set of goggles that covered nearly half of his face and set them down. After the mixture stopped fizzing, he used a large eyedropper to transfer the liquid from the test tube to a serum bottle. On the label he wrote "Serum Two". The notepad next to him had the recipe for the second drug. "This one should be stronger, but there's only one way to find out." He slipped the drug into his coat pocket and packed his materials into his briefcase. Then he went to a shelf and placed the remainder of the powder on the top shelf, taking care to hide it. Once everything was cleaned up, he went to the stairs and began his journey to the ground floor of the hospital wing.

The basement had been his secret working place ever since he took up the job at Arkham. Because he was a Psychology professor, he wasn't authorized to use the labs at Gotham University. If he wanted to use the labs, he would have to go through an extensive application process, and even if he was given permission, someone from the science department would have to supervise him while he was using it. The secrecy of his experiments was a key factor, so Crane had to be as sneaky as possible. The basement of the hospital was never used (it was in terrible condition: the remaining furniture was rusty, the floors were dirty, and it was freezing), making it the perfect place to create his fear drugs.

As he made his way up the stairs, Maria was on her way down. By chance they met on the second floor landing. Maria greeted him with a small, friendly smile.

"Hello again, Dr. Crane," she said cheerfully.

"Ah…good morning, Miss DuPont," he responded, his voice low. Her smile grew a little bigger.

"Well…it's afternoon now, actually. It's almost two-thirty," she corrected him.

"Oh…is it?" he inquired, glancing at his watch. She was right. He had been working much longer than he thought he was. _"I'm sure the staff's been looking for me for the past hour," _his inner voice muttered. Seeing that he looked worried about something, Maria's smile faded.

"Is everything all right, Doctor?" she asked.

"I'm fine. I just got so caught up in my work that I wasn't keeping track of the time," he explained, his gaze on the floor. "I should be going." With that said he slid past her and continued up the stairs, his pace quickening. Maria turned to face him, watching as he opened the third floor door and stepped into the corridor. A sigh fell from her.

"I wonder what he could be working on here?" she asked herself out loud as she turned towards the stairs and continued down. "I mean, shouldn't he be in the Psychiatric Ward?" Curiosity panged in her blood. "What sort of research is he conducting, exactly?" She reached the first floor and peered down the next flight of stairs. From reading maps of the Asylum, she knew that the Hospital Wing had a basement level, but it was used for storage. There couldn't possibly be any labs or offices down there. Gripping the rusty banister tightly, she went down the steps, putting her weight on her toes. Her shoes clacked against the metal steps and echoed throughout the stairwell. She reached a gray metallic door that was caked in rust. Red chipped paint barely spelled out the letter "B". When she touched the door handle, she found that it was slightly warm.

"Maybe Dr. Crane was down here," she said to herself. She twisted the handle and pushed the door in. The hinges squealed as she stepped inside. The only thing before her was darkness. She prodded the wall in search of a light switch and, eventually, she found one. A few lights flickered on, giving her a limited view of the filthy basement. A moldy odor filled the room. Her stomach churned. "What in the world would he do in this place?" she wondered.

Pieces of old furniture were littered about the room, covered by dusty tarps. The only unveiled piece was a long table that looked like it had seen better days. Splotches of liquids scarred its face. Most of them were dark, showing that they had been there for a while, but there was one stain that carried an orange tint. She guessed that it was fresh. She bent over the table and sniffed the stain. The odor wasn't nearly as offensive as the one in the room, but it didn't smell of roses either. The acidity caused her to gag, and as she straightened she let out a series of coughs.

"What an odd smell," she mumbled as she removed her hand from her mouth. Her gaze turned to the closed door. "I should get out of here," she added as she retreated to the door. She twisted the handle and pulled, but the door didn't budge. A gasp rose from her throat. She pulled harder, only to no avail. "Come on," she gritted as she pulled with all of her weight. The door refused to move. Her hands lost their grip and she was sent flying backwards. A shelf caught her, but in the process a box was knocked off. As it hit the floor, it opened and released a yellow powder. Maria, upon inhaling the substance, coughed furiously.

She looked around for something to clean up with. In a corner she found a broom and dustpan, so she used those to sweep up the powder and return it to its box. Yellow stained the concrete floor. Some of the particles had settled into the little grooves in the concrete. There was no way she could sweep those up. After placing the box on the shelf once more, she wiped her hands on her apron. Yellow smeared the white article. She let out a sigh.

"Well, this thing was due for a washing anyway," she said nervously, trying to be positive. "Now…how do I get out of here exactly?" She scanned the dank and dark room in search of another exit. Her efforts bore no fruit. The stubborn door was her only way out. Her heart began to race. She suddenly felt a cold sweat on her face. Her knees started to tremble. She gulped.

"Is anyone here?" she called faintly. She could have sworn that she heard something moving. Her senses seemed to have heightened. She suddenly became aware of the drops of water dripping from the leaking pipes. She could hear rats scampering. The walls seemed to creak, as if they were moaning in agony. The shadows seemed to have taken on other shapes, shapes of frightening creatures and people. Her head was throbbing, her heart pounding. Her eyes were wide, pupils glassy and dilated.

"Hello? Can anyone hear me?" she cried. "Someone…someone please, help me! Help me!" Maria scrambled towards the door and furiously tugged on the handle. She was on her shaking knees, and every time she tried to stand her knees buckled and dropped her. The darkness seemed like it was falling on her. She pounded on the door. "HELP! HELP!" she shrieked. She shut her eyes tightly and leaned against the door. Her trembling body was beginning to shut down. It was freezing. She thought she was dying.

"Mom…Daddy…I'm sorry," she whispered.


	8. The Lonely Winter

Chapter Eight: The Lonely Winter

"Miss DuPont?"

Maria felt someone nudging her shoulder. Someone was saying her name. She pushed her eyes open, fighting off exhaustion. Her body felt muggy and grimy. Her vision began to clear up, and above her she saw the icy stare of Dr. Crane. She tried sitting up. Her head was spinning, so she leaned up against the wall.

"What happened? Are you all right?" he asked.

"I'll be fine," replied Maria. "I just…need to rest for a moment."

"Do you remember what happened?" he repeated. She took in a deep breath. It seemed like her lungs were parched.

"I…I was asked to look for something down here," she lied. "The door closed and locked itself…I tried to get out, but it wouldn't budge. Then I fell into a shelf and knocked a box of powder over. I cleaned up the powder and…" A shock of pain spread through her head. She held her head in her hands, massaging her temples. "I can't remember what happened next…I just remember screaming…seeing terrible things."

"Your fear probably just got the best of you, that's all," Dr. Crane said reassuringly. Maria nodded, feeling like she could trust his judgment (after all, he was a professor of psychology).

"I guess so…it all just felt so _real_," she whispered.

"Being in a dark place like this will do that. There are an infinite amount of possibilities in the shadows. It's quite easy for a person to project his deepest fears on the darkness."

"Yes," Maria agreed, remembering reading something like that. She looked up at him again. Her strength was slowly coming back, as was her vision. His face bore no emotion, as usual, nor did his eyes project any kind of feelings. Maria didn't notice until now that his hand was still gripping her shoulder.

"It would be best if you went home to rest," he remarked. "Would you like me to call your sister?" Maria shook her head and attempted to push herself up.

"Alexis is sick, so I don't want to put her through the trouble," she replied. She was able to make herself stand, but she had to lean against the wall for support. Dr. Crane stood as well, watching to make sure she didn't stumble and fall. "I'll be fine," she exhaled. "I just…need to rest for a little, and then I'll get back to work."

"You really shouldn't," he argued. Maria reached for the door and pulled it, seeing that it was finally obeying her. She was starting to regain her footing.

"I'll be fine. Really," she answered. He let out a defeated sigh.

"If you insist, Miss DuPont," he mumbled. "But if you start getting sick or you feel faint, then stop working and rest. Can you at least promise me that?" Maria smiled and nodded.

"I'll do that," she replied with a small bow of her head. "Thank you for helping me, Dr. Crane. I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble."

"It's no trouble," Dr. Crane responded, his voice subdued. "Just try to be a little more careful." She nodded again and left the room, leaving the door open for him. He heard her footsteps diminishing as she climbed up the stairs. Once he was sure she was out of earshot, he rushed to the shelf and grabbed the box of powder. He opened it, seeing that the substance was still intact, although gray and brown dust and dirt particles were scattered within it. Frowning, he shut the box and slipped it into his coat pocket for safe keeping.

He left the frigid room, making sure to shut the door tightly, and began his ascent. He glanced at his watch. It was a little after four o'clock.

_"If only I knew when she became exposed to the powder and how long it affected her. It could have helped me…"  
><em>

The box of powder was the reason he had returned to the basement. When he reached his office after his time in the basement, he realized that he forgot the powder, but the moment he returned from his break he was being harassed with papers and files from the other doctors. He had to work with the "crazies" and, after two hours, was able to slip away undetected.  
>He knew that Maria wasn't suspecting him of anything. She most likely didn't make the connection between her fit of terror and the powder. At least he was safe from an accusation. But Crane knew that he had something else to worry about in Maria's case: she had an insatiable curiosity. He knew for a fact that she was lying about coming down to the basement to get something (the things the employees stored down there were useless or outdated).<p>

_"She must have seen me going down there at some point,"_ he hypothesized, _"and wanted to find out what I've been doing…but why?" _He had to wonder: was it for curiosity's sake, or maybe Alexis put her on to it? _"She _would _do something like that."_ At this point the reason didn't really matter. What mattered was that Maria was looking for information. He couldn't allow anyone to find out about his experiments, and he was prepared to take extreme measures to protect himself. He had no problem slaying his grandmother when he could no longer take her physical abuse, nor did he feel regrets for being responsible for the death of Sherry Squires, his high school crush. Why would Maria be any different?

He entered the hallway that was the bridge between the two wings. Once in the Psychiatric Ward, he made his way to his office.

Then again, if anything happened to Maria and Alexis found out he was responsible for it, he would be even more ruined. She wouldn't rest until his life became a living hell. In either case, his hands were tied. It was slightly aggravating, but the challenge made the whole process a little more interesting, to say the least.

Crane entered his office and locked the door. He swiped off his glasses and placed them on the desk, massaging his temples in an attempt to get rid of the acute pain in his head. A dark picture formed in his mind's eye. The background was the dirty, dank hospital basement. The subjects were he and Maria. It wouldn't take too much to kill her. He could do it the old fashioned way, with a gun or a rope. But there was no fun in that. If he was going to take away a life, he may as well make the death a little more pleasurable.

He wasn't very fond of blood; it was too messy. Strangling was an effective method (it was how he killed his grandmother), and it allowed him to see the terror on the victim's face as she stood on the precipice between life and death. But now he was more interested in using other methods. The newest edition of his fear toxin was being developed for the purpose of creating horrifying, beautiful deaths. The correct concentrations of certain ingredients would produce the ultimate fear drug, capable of driving a victim into such a catastrophic, terrified state that he drives himself to insanity, or even death.

At this point he wasn't sure how he would administer the drug. Since he initially prepared it in liquid form, perhaps he would find a way to inject it into her. Then he would stand back and allow the toxin to take its effects. He wouldn't chain her down or anything. The doors would be the only locked things. Other than that, she would be free to do as she pleased. She could run around and try desperately to escape and bash her head against the walls and hide under the tables, trembling and screaming at the exaggerated form of her worst fear. The experience would completely strip her of any protection she had built up against it. No more rose-colored glasses or comforting words. Her fear would be the only thing she had, and eventually it would completely consume her.

He could fantasize about it all he wanted, but deep inside he knew that he wouldn't have the guts to do it. It _was_ different with Maria. For some reason he could not imagine himself killing her, or even unleashing his fear toxin on her at the least. When he tried to create those images in his mind's eye, he would feel sick to his stomach, and the pictures would dissolve away. His grandmother was an abusive nutcase. She made him angry. He _wanted _her to die. And then there was Sherry. She rejected him, tormented him. She deserved her fate. Maria had done nothing wrong. She had no ill will towards him. Chance and innocent curiosity had brought her to the basement. She didn't inspire any rage inside of him. It was his own fault he was afraid of her. Right now, fear wasn't a good enough reason to kill her.

* * *

><p>Maria stayed at work for the rest of the day. When her co-workers asked why she didn't come back after her break was over, she explained that she was needed in the Psychiatric Ward to tend to Clarice. No one asked further questions, since they knew that Maria was close to Clarice and she was often called to the Psychiatric Ward to help care for her. Once she returned to the Hospital Wing, it was back to the normal work day for her. For a few hours she felt a little drained, so her pace was not as quick and efficient as it usually was. Sometimes she would fidget, thinking she saw something out of the corner of her eye. Her fellow nurses noticed this and asked if she was all right. As usual, Maria said she was fine and kept working.<p>

_"I probably shouldn't talk to Dr. Crane anymore,"_ she said to herself as she rolled her meal cart down the dimly lit halls of the hospital. She stopped at a room, took one of the meal trays, and stepped in. After serving the meal, she retreated to her cart and went onto the next room. _"It doesn't seem like he likes me very much. Every time we talk I do something to upset him." _She let out a small sigh. _"I was hoping we could become friends, but at this rate I'll be lucky if he doesn't hate me." _After finishing her meal run, she returned the empty cart to the storage room. Then she went to the main office, punched her card, and grabbed her coat. It was about eight o'clock when she left the Asylum.

She buttoned her coat shut and pulled on Crane's gloves. They were thinner and rougher than she remembered, with barely any warmth in them whatsoever. She kept them on anyway. In the stinging cold she walked down the hill to the bus station and waited for it to arrive. It wasn't due to get there until about eight-twenty, and she figured that the buses were ten minutes late at the least. She heaved a sigh, creating a puff of smoke near her lips. She couldn't help but smile. When she was young, she and her siblings used to joke about seeing those puffs. They would teasingly accuse each other of being smokers.

"Dirty smoker," she whispered, riding on a small giggle.

After waiting for another twenty minutes, the bus rolled to a stop at the station. She stepped on, inserted her bus token, and found a seat in the middle. They waited for four minutes for other passengers. No one else stepped on, so they continued, Maria and the bus driver. It was hard to believe that about twelve hours before that, she had accompanied Jonathan Crane on the bus. It seemed like it had happened so long ago. She joined her gloved hands on her lap, her gaze on the worn gloves. The bus rolled on. She had no one to talk to, no one to sit next to. She was lonely.

* * *

><p>At around nine-thirty, Jonathan Crane stepped onto the bus. A few other co-workers were on that bus also, but Crane opted to sit by himself in the back, his head against the window. He had his hands in his pockets, since he lacked gloves to keep them warm. Not that he minded it terribly. The cold never really bothered him.<p>

He was used to sitting alone on the bus. Unless they were forced to work with him, people generally avoided him. It had been like that since he was a boy. That was why he was shocked when Maria started talking to him outside of the work environment. She even _called _him. No normal person had ever done something like that before.

Crane got off at the next stop and rushed to the train station. After inserting his train tokens, he climbed up the tower stairs and waited on the platform. Not many people were waiting for the train. Most of the citizens of Gotham were home. They tried to be home before eight o'clock to avoid the street gangs that came out at night. Crane didn't think he would run into any trouble. He was a grown man who, while not very physically imposing, had a natural affinity for pushing people away from him with his own aura.

The train slid to a halt and opened its doors, ushering the waiting passengers inside. On the other side of the tracks, passengers filed out. After sixty seconds, the doors shut and the train moved on. He took a seat and stared out the window. The city lights blurred past him. Flashes of color made his eyes hurt. The train stopped a few times before reaching the University District, his stop. He stood as the train began to slow down, his hand tightly gripping a cold metal pole. The brakes of the train squeaked. The doors flew open. He stepped onto the platform and went down to the streets of Gotham.

The Gotham State University campus wasn't too far from the train station. He briskly walked through the empty streets, on his way to his apartment. The teacher housing was located on the far end of campus as a way of discouraging any intimate relations between students and teachers. Not that Crane would have any problems with that. He hated each and every one of the little brats.

The lights on the campus were dim. He reached into his pocket and made sure his University ID was ready, for he expected to be stopped by a campus policeman at some point. The campus was a completely different place at night. During the day it was sprawling with student activity. At night, however, it was empty and lifeless. Sometimes one could hear the chatter and music of a dorm party, but no student ever set foot outside late at night. Everyone in Gotham knew that wasn't a good idea, even on a "protected" college campus.

When he reached the professors' dorm, he flashed his ID to the security guard. The guard unlocked the door and let him in. His apartment was on the third floor. Quickly he went up the stairs and down the hall to 303. The only light in the hallway was flickering and buzzing. He took out his key, jammed it into the lock, twisted the key, and pushed the door in. Once inside, he turned on the lights, shut the door, and locked it once more.

His apartment wasn't much to look at. It was slightly larger than a normal student dorm (the faculty building was once a dorm for seniors), and had the accommodations of a standard hotel suite. There was a small kitchen, a bathroom, a bedroom, and a main room. Crane felt that he didn't really need that much space; he was barely home anyway.

He placed his briefcase on the kitchen counter-table and tossed his coat onto a chair. After slipping off his shoes, he retreated to the bedroom to change into his bed clothes. In the corner of the bedroom he saw laundry starting to pile up. He heaved a small sigh and made a mental note to go to the Laundromat sometime that weekend.

After changing, he went into the bathroom and brushed his teeth. Once that was over with he returned to the bedroom. He normally stayed up a little later, but for some reason he was exhausted. After climbing into bed, he removed his glasses and placed them on the nightstand. He reached for the lamp and pulled the chord. The light shut off. He rolled onto his back, his gaze locked onto the ceiling. He was alone.


	9. The Breathless Hush of Evening

Chapter Nine: The Breathless Hush of Evening

_"Hey there. You're Jonathan Crane, right?" He kept his eyes lowered as he nodded somberly. "Nice you meet you, Jonathan. I'm Alexis DuPont."  
><em>

_Alexis felt a small sense of accomplishment. She had been meaning to introduce herself to Jonathan for a while. That semester he happened to be in all of her classes, so she felt it was necessary. He seemed like a good kid, a smart one too.  
><em>

_She sat down next to him on the bench. He was reading a thick book.  
><em>

_"What are you reading?" she asked. He stuck his fingers in the page he was reading and closed the book, revealing the cover. It was a worn textbook that he probably got second-hand at the student store. The book was titled: "The Anatomy of Fear". Alexis widened her eyes a little and smiled, showing interest. "You're into that kind of stuff?" she questioned. He nodded. Her smile grew a little bigger. "I figured. You look like the type of guy who would be into that sort of thing. It's always the sweet, bookish guys that like the darker things in life." He glanced at her, then his gaze returned to the book.  
><em>

_"Do you want something from me?" he asked, his voice as cold as ice. Alexis was a little taken back at first, but then she let out a small laugh.  
><em>

_"No, not really. I just wanted to introduce myself," she responded jovially. As she said this she stood up. "Sorry if I bothered you. See ya around, Ichabod!" She gave him a little salute and sauntered away. He continued his reading like she had never arrived.  
><em>

_They crossed paths again later that week before a class. Alexis was walking on the grounds with her roommate Erica. They were discussing a paper that was due the following week when they passed Jonathan sitting on the bench with his nose in his book.  
><em>

_"I'll catch up with you later," Alexis said as she parted ways with Erica. She approached the bench, a big smile on her face. "Hey, Ichabod, how're things?" she greeted him amicably. He glared up at her. Sensing the ice in his stare, Alexis's lips lost their smile. "Oh, sorry. Still reading that book? I won't bother you."  
><em>

_The next time they spoke was in the lunch hall that weekend. She happened to be behind him in the line. For once he wasn't reading.  
><em>

_"Hi Ichabod," she said happily. She glanced at his lunch tray, seeing a bottle of water and an apple. "Geez, no wonder you're so skinny," she remarked. She picked up a sandwich and followed him to the register, where they both handed the cashier their meal tickets. "You know, Ichabod, I like you. You seem like a nice guy," she commented.  
><em>

_"That's not my name," he snapped at her.  
><em>

_"Oh, you don't like the name 'Ichabod'?" she asked, not affected by his sudden hostility. She had built a tough skin and wasn't easily damaged by other peoples' words. "Sorry, it was the only thing I could come up with. Not exactly the most original nickname, I'll admit."  
><em>

_"Just call me by my real name. Or another idea: why don't you just leave me alone? I don't need your 'sympathy'." Alexis frowned. Jonathan started walking away, but she was persistent in following him.  
><em>

_"What's with you?" she asked. "I just wanted to be friends. Is this how you treat people who are nice to you or something?"  
><em>

_"I wouldn't call insulting me with a nickname a very nice thing to do." Alexis paused, her eyes widening ever so slightly. She could see the pain building up in his eyes. He looked at the ground, clenching his lunch tray tightly. She knew that he was reliving painful memories. Guilt was plastered all over her face.  
><em>

_"Oh, I'm really sorry, Jonathan. I didn't think it would offend you," she said softly. "It's just…you looked so lonely sitting on that bench by yourself."  
><em>

_"It's fine. I'm used to being by myself."  
><em>

_"You've never had a friend in your life?" Alexis asked.  
><em>

_"I don't need any." A small sigh fell from her lips.  
><em>

_"Yes, you do." She reached out and touched his shoulder, gripping it softly. "You do, Jonathan. Everyone needs friends."  
><em>

_Alexis moved the dream forward quickly. Weeks passed into months, months into years. It was her seventh year. It was a cold December evening. Final exams had just ended and students were preparing to return home for the winter break. Jonathan had no home to return to. Alexis wasn't in a rush, since her family lived only twenty minutes away. She had invited Jonathan over for Christmas, and he accepted. They were good friends.  
><em>

_"Fern and Maria will be here at six. Fern called a cab and everything," she remarked as she closed her suitcase. It was about four thirty. Already it was getting dark. Jonathan sat on her bed and was flipping through a photo album.  
><em>

_"I haven't seen either of your sisters around campus," he commented.  
><em>

_"Well, Fern's majoring in marine biology, so that makes sense. I expected to see Maria around more, though. She's studying psychiatric nursing."  
><em>

_"Is that so?"  
><em>

_"Yep. I call her every night, though, just to make sure she's doing okay. She's a lot like you, actually. Really shy. Kind of bookish. Not nearly as tall, though, but she's a twig."  
><em>

_"I'm sure she's a lot nicer than I am."  
><em>

_"Yeah, there's that." She sat next to him on the bed and kissed his cheek.  
><em>

_The next part of the dream occurred as it did in reality. It was one big blur, but the other senses were heightened. She could hear sighs and moans. She felt hands touching her bare skin. It was cold and hot at the same time. They didn't speak very much during it. When they were done, Jonathan whispered in her ear.  
><em>

_"You know…that was my first time." She smirked.  
><em>

_"They say it's better the second time."  
><em>

_They were done a little bit before six. That gave them time to make themselves presentable. Alexis fixed the couch cushions, put on a nice outfit, and brushed her hair. No one would ever know._

* * *

><p>Alexis awoke with a start. The phone was ringing. It was nearly midnight. She jumped out of bed and ran into the living room, where the phone kept ringing on the wall, untouched. Maria rolled over. Alexis grabbed the phone.<p>

"Hello?"

"This is Jonathan Crane…"

"Jonathan, it's midnight. Why the hell are you calling this late at night?"

"Is your sister awake?"

"No, she fell asleep the minute she got home."

"Is she all right?"

"Well…yeah…I guess so. Why do you ask?"

"She took a spill today…and I wanted to make sure she was all right," he mumbled.

"At midnight?"

"I'm sorry."

"Yes, she's fine. Now go to sleep, you twit." She hung up the phone.


	10. Finding Your Love

Chapter Ten: Finding Your Love

"Jonathan called last night," Alexis said as she poured coffee into her mug. Maria glanced up from her toast.

"Dr. Crane? What did he want?" she asked. Alexis smirked.

"Something about making sure you were okay. He said you got hurt during work yesterday," she responded. Heat seeped into her cheeks. Her heart started to thump loudly. This only made her blush more. She was afraid that Alexis might hear, but Alexis didn't seem to notice. She was leaning against the counter with her coffee mug in hand. "So what happened exactly? Did you trip over a meal cart or something? It doesn't look like you have any bruises."

That was true. When Maria checked herself in the shower that morning, she found no bruises or cuts. She even thought for a moment that the whole thing was a dream. But the drained feeling in her body told her otherwise. Walking was as tiring as running a marathon. She felt like she could collapse any moment. She closed her eyes and took in a deep breath, trying to fill her tired lungs with air.

"I was…in the basement, and I tripped," she explained quietly.

"The basement? What the heck were you doing down _there_?" Alexis questioned.

"I don't…really remember…now that I think about it," Maria lied. "I just remember being cold…and in the dark…and then Dr. Crane found me."

"But why the basement? No one's been using it for years," pondered Alexis.

"Look, I don't know, okay?" Maria snapped. Alexis's eyes widened slightly. The anger in Maria's gaze made her pulse race.

"Maria…are you all right?" she asked, her voice a hushed whisper. Maria heaved a sigh and gathered her plate and utensils.

"I'm fine." she replied quietly.

"No, Maria, you're not," Alexis said. Her voice was hard now. She reached out and placed her hand on her sister's shoulder, gripping it tightly. Maria kept her gaze on the floor. Alexis stared at her. "Look, I don't know what's going on, but you're not yourself today. You should stay home." Maria distanced herself from her sister.

"I'm fine. I can't miss work," she mumbled as she placed her dishes in the sink and left the kitchen area. She went to the door and slipped into her shoes, then she pulled her coat on. Alexis rushed to the door and stood in front of it.

"Listen to me," she demanded. "You need to rest, Maria." She saw shimmering tears rolling down Maria's cheeks.

"I don't know…I-I don't know, Alexis. I'm sorry, I don't know!" she cried as she tightly grasped her head with her hands.

"Don't know what? Maria, what are you talking about?" Alexis felt herself trembling. It was really out of character for her sister to be acting in that volatile manner and with such emotional intensity. Maria's face was drained of all color, her knees were threatening to drop her, her breaths were short and shallow.

"I don't know! Please…I'm sorry, I just don't know! I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" she whimpered frantically. Suddenly, Maria felt a stinging pain in her cheek. The abrupt blow snapped her back to reality. Her body was completely calm. Her pulse was normal, her breathing became slow and tranquil, her eyes were no longer dilated, and her limbs weren't trembling. She looked at Alexis, who was up against the door breathing heavily. Her face was ghostly pale, and it was her turn to look in the face of fear. Maria raised her hand to her burning cheek. She stared at her sister with wide, doe-like eyes.

"Maria…I-I'm sorry, but…I had to. You were in hysterics. You weren't yourself…" Alexis explained in a crackling voice.

"It's all right, Lexi," Maria replied somberly.

"Please, just stay home today. You're not well," Alexis pleaded. Maria swiped a few stray hairs behind her ear, her gaze on the ground.

"Maybe Dr. Crane can help me," she murmured as she buttoned her coat. Alexis didn't budge. She only half agreed with Maria's point. Crane's specialization was fears and phobias, and when she looked at Maria when she was in her frenzied state, she saw fear bulging in her eyes. But Alexis worried that Crane was somehow the cause of it. The older sister let out a defeated sigh and stepped out of the way.

"Go, then," she said lowly. Maria's lips curled into a soft smile.

"You worry about me too much, Lexi. I'll be fine, I promise," she assured her gently before stepping out. Alexis turned away from the door and retrieved her coffee. She wasn't alone in the room for long. Jake entered, wearing a pair of sweatpants and one sock.

"Did Crane really call last night?" he asked Alexis as he reached into the cabinet for a coffee mug. While he was there, he felt around for the sugar bowl. She leaned up against the kitchen counter, frowning slightly.

"You think I would lie about something like that?" she retorted.

"How did he get our number anyway?" he wondered. He poured himself some coffee and spooned a few spoonfuls of sugar into it. Then he reached into the fridge for milk.

"Phonebook? Asylum office? Excessive stalking?" Alexis tried. "He wouldn't have the guts to actually _ask _Maria for it." Jake's eyes widened a little bit and his eyebrow tilted mischievously.

"Ooooh, he wanted to talk to _Maria_, huh?" He slinked closer towards Alexis. "And here I thought he was trying to get you back." She smiled wryly.

"Jonathan wouldn't want me back. He never wanted me in the first place, remember?" she replied.

"That makes two of us," he teased. Alexis lightly slapped his arm, then she leaned in and pressed her lips to his.

"I love you," she murmured before kissing him again, this time deeper. He placed his coffee on the counter and wrapped his arms around her waist. She smiled.

* * *

><p>She was alone on the bus to Arkham. Part of her wished that Dr. Crane would be on the bus too so they could talk about her issue, but at the same time her body chilled at the mere thought of him. She felt fine now, as normal as ever, aside from the occasional chills. The driver noticed that she had her arms wrapped protectively around herself the whole time. He turned up the heat a little, figuring she was cold, but it only made beads of sweat drip down his face.<p>

When the bus let her off, Maria stayed at the station for about ten minutes. She just stood by the bench, waiting. The bus came back and dropped off some more passengers. Dr. Crane was not among them. A small sigh escaped her and she decided it would be best to go inside, for she didn't want to catch a cold. She followed the group of her co-workers up the hill and into the Asylum. She punched in her card and checked for Dr. Crane's, finding that he hadn't come to work just yet. After hanging up her coat in the coat room, she went into the medical facility to begin the day's work.

At around ten o'clock, she returned to the main office to get some paperwork on a patient. While she was there she went back and checked the cards, finding that Dr. Crane punched in about an hour beforehand. A small smile curled on her lips.

"Excuse me, Sarah, but do you know when Dr. Crane goes on his lunch break?" she asked the secretary. Sarah grabbed a folder and flipped through the papers in it.

"He's on break from twelve-thirty to one-thirty," she answered. Maria nodded, saying thank you, and left the office. Her break started at twelve, so that gave her the half-hour overlap to find and talk to him. Her stomach was in knots just thinking about it.

_"I really feel bad about troubling him like this," _her inner voice complained, _"but I could really use his help with this problem." _

The hours passed by quickly. Maria had her hands so full that she ran a little into her lunch break. She didn't really mind, since she was a fast eater anyway. After washing up in the bathroom, she made her way to the cafeteria. It wasn't very sanitary, nor did it provide good food, but Maria didn't think she had much of a right to complain. It was tough to prepare meals for inmates, so having to provide for staff was a hard task as well. She found herself a garden salad, an apple, and some water. As she searched for a place to sit, she also scoped out for Dr. Crane, thinking that he may have left his shift early. She waited until twelve forty-five. He didn't show up. Her other option was to check his office. After placing her dishes in the dirty dish bin, she rushed to the Psychiatric Ward. She nearly leapt up the steps to the third floor, where his office was located.

She peeked inside and saw that the lights were dim. This didn't dissuade her, though. She tried knocking. No answer. Then she twisted the door handle and discovered that the door was unlocked. Cautiously, she pushed the door in and poked her head inside.

"Dr. Crane…are you in here?" she called softly.

He initially thought that the person at his door was another doctor and he tried to feign not being in the office (he was starting to get really annoyed with some of the doctors). However, once he heard Maria's voice, he felt a little safer and straightened his posture. He was sitting at his desk with an orange and some paperwork. He adjusted his glasses, which had been jostled when he hunched over his desk to hide.

"Good afternoon…Miss DuPont," he greeted her quietly. "Ah…"

"I-I'm so sorry if I'm interrupting anything important," Maria cut in nervously, "but…you see…I think there's something wrong with me and…I don't know how much longer I can wait…"

"What's wrong?" he asked as he stood. Her stomach dropped. Nervously she crossed her arms at her waist.

"Ah…w-well…I just haven't been myself lately. I've been seeing and hearing things…and feeling strange things. It was like when I was in the basement, but…I _yelled _at my sister, Dr. Crane." She shut her eyes tightly, clenching her fists. Hot tears squeezed out and ran down her cheeks. "And I'm so afraid," she whimpered. "I-I-I don't know what's wrong with me and I'm so afraid!"

"Sit down, Miss DuPont," Dr. Crane commanded gently. "It'll help you calm down." Maria nodded and did as she was told. He took the seat next to her and turned the chair towards her. Happy tingles were playing in his stomach. The sheer terror in her voice, in her face, was too marvelous. And, even better, he was about to obtain some useful pieces of data for his research. He told himself to get a pad and paper, but he never did. He was too fixated on what she had to say to shift his attention to writing it down. "Do you remember much from what happened yesterday? You said you knocked over a yellow powder, correct?"

"That's right," she answered.

"Do you remember inhaling it?" he questioned.

"I could have. It was floating everywhere."

"And did you touch it?"

"Yes. I got some on my hands when I was sweeping it up," she recalled.

"How long was the period of time between you sweeping up the powder and you hearing things?"

"Oh…I-I'm not sure, I'm sorry. It didn't seem like very long…but I'm not sure," she answered timidly.

"It's all right…now; did you have any more experiences similar to the one in the basement during the rest of the day?" Maria opened her mouth to answer, but she closed it out of apprehension. She was going to comment that on occasion she felt slightly dizzy at some points during the work day, but she remembered the promise she made to him after he found her. That promise was one she failed to keep.

"No," she lied.

"All right. Could you explain to me what happened this morning?" Suddenly, heat seeped into Maria's cheeks.

"Well…ah…m-my sister told me that you had called, Dr. Crane, asking how I was doing. And then she asked me about what happened. It…it seemed like she was bombarding me with questions…and I couldn't remember anything…I couldn't come up with an answer. I was scared out of my wits…and then suddenly I got very angry at her." She paused for a moment, collecting her thoughts. "After that…well…I-I don't remember actually…but Alexis said that I went into hysterics. She had to slap me. And now…well…" He noticed that her breathing was starting to increase in pace and her breaths were becoming more shallow. She was tightly gripping her sides. Her knees were shaking, her body tense. Her eyes had widened and seemed to be glossed over. Fear. "I don't know anymore…I'm…I-I'm so scared I can't even think," she whispered. "I don't know _anything_, and it's frightening, Dr. Crane…"

"It's all right, Miss DuPont. I think I know what's wrong," Crane responded. He didn't even have to think at all to make his diagnosis. He already knew what effect the powder had on the mind. "You simply have an overactive amyglada. The activity is what's creating all these negative emotions within you: the anxiety, the anger, and the fear."

Maria let out a mousy gasp. She locked her doe-like gaze on him, her olive eyes digging deep into his icy blue stare. Her jaw was hanging slightly, causing her mouth to open just the faintest bit. She seemed in a perfect state of shock, yet completely tranquil.

"Yes…yes of course," she murmured. She turned away from him, her head in her hands. "Of course that's it…w-why didn't I think of it? Such a simple solution too…" She pushed herself out of the seat slowly and began walking towards the window dejectedly. Her arms were crossed over her stomach. "All that time studying…all those hours in classrooms…reading books," she muttered, "and the _one _time I can use what I learned…I-I can't…remember." She swiped some stray hairs behind her ear, heaving a sigh. _"I'm such an idiot…a worthless, useless, stupid idiot…"  
><em>

"Thank you, Miss DuPont," Dr. Crane said. Maria turned towards him, perplexed.

"I'm sorry?"

"You may not realize it…but you've helped me a great deal," he remarked. Suddenly, the light came back to her face in the form of a smile. Dr. Crane had to admit that he was relieved. He wasn't going to kill her. He _couldn't _kill her. He wouldn't allow himself. His only option was to give her the antidote, but he couldn't do that without explaining everything. That was why he had to call her late at night. His hope was that the drug had run its course and he wouldn't have to administer the antidote. But now his worst fear was becoming a reality. He had no way to stop it from occurring. God only knew how much of the powder Maria had ingested, and God only knew how long the toxins would continue to affect her. "You've…provided me data for my research," he added.

"Really? I'm so glad, Dr. Crane. At least something good came out of this whole mess," she responded jovially. He took in a deep breath.

"Listen…Miss DuPont…there's something I need to give you. It's an antidote. It will counteract the toxins in the powder you ingested yesterday," he said. Maria stared at him.

"Are you saying that the powder was _yours_?" she questioned. Crane nodded.

"I don't have the antidote here right now. It's back at my apartment," he explained.

"Dr. Crane…what exactly have you been doing with that powder?" Maria asked, bewildered. This was a question he refused to answer. Now, at least. He removed his glasses and turned his gaze to his watch.

"What time does your break end, Miss DuPont?" he asked her. Maria frowned, knowing that he was trying to avoid answering the question.

"One o'clock," she replied.

"All right. Come with me." He reached for his coat and turned off the lights. Maria, a little taken aback at first, nodded and followed him out the door and to the main office. While he spoke to Sarah, she quietly retreated to the coat room and took her jacket. As she pulled it on, she returned to the office and found Dr. Crane standing near the Asylum entrance.

"Everything is set. We'll return immediately after I administer the antidote," he told her.

"Dr. Crane…I'm terribly sorry for causing you all this trouble," she said quietly as they walked out the door and towards the security gate. "It seems like every time we meet, something goes haywire."

"It's fine," he responded curtly. She didn't speak. Instead she stuck her hand in her pocket and pulled out the gloves he gave her. He glanced at her hands as she slipped them on. "Still using those old things, I see," he commented. Maria smiled a little.

"Yes," she replied softly. There was silence between them as they waited for the Arkham bus to arrive. They were lucky enough to arrive right before a scheduled time, but the bus was running a little late (probably due to lunch time traffic).

They sat together on the bus, Maria in the window and Crane in the middle. She pressed her forehead to the cold glass and watched as Arkham rolled away. Her eyes trailed to the sky. It was gray, but she could see the yellow bulb of the sun trying to burn through the thick clouds. It had been a long time since Maria had seen Gotham during the day time. Now she realized that she wasn't missing very much. It looked the same as it did in the morning, aside from the increase in activity in the city.

When the bus arrived at the rail station, the two disembarked and Crane led them to the rail that would take them to the University District. Maria made sure to stay close. Even though she knew the area well, she didn't want to accidentally separate from him. They embarked on a wordless journey to the University.

They sped past the Wayne Tower, which was responsible for the train they were riding on. Maria could barely remember the day her family learned of the murder. She recalled that her father was devastated, since he and Thomas Wayne were good friends. Maxwell and Alexis were about old enough to understand what death was. Maria was about six at the time. She knew that Uncle Tom and Aunt Martha were never going to visit them again. She knew that everyone was sad about that, especially her friend Bruce. But she never quite understood why Bruce never wanted to play with her and her siblings anymore, why he was always sad.

_"We're going to ask Bruce if he would like to stay with us," _she remembered her father saying the night they found out. He asked Alfred at the funeral, who politely declined, saying that Thomas and Martha wanted Bruce to stay at home with him.

_"He's still a boy, Pierre,"_ her mother had argued when her father relayed Alfred's message. _"He needs motherly love. Alfred may be one of the most caring people I've met, but he can't be a mother to Bruce."_

They did see Bruce on occasion, and they always sent him a Christmas card. Eventually he became a simple childhood memory. It would remain on her shelf gathering dust, like an old doll.

"Miss DuPont, we're here," Crane said as the train screeched to a halt. He stood and Maria followed. They stepped onto the platform and descended to the streets. The gates to Gotham State University were a few yards away from the station. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his University ID. They approached the gate and Crane showed the security guard his tag. "This is Maria DuPont," he told the guard. "She is a guest."

"ID?" the guard asked, his hard glare on Maria. Maria nodded and opened her jacket a little. She pulled out the Arkham Asylum ID that was still attached to her apron. The guard squinted and leaned a little forward to look at it. He nodded and opened the gates.

It had been a while since she visited the University. The campus didn't look much different. The only change was the student population. There were much more people than she remembered. She guessed that lunch had just ended, for there were many students walking about the grounds. She recognized a few from her class who were now graduate students, as well as some of the underclassmen.

_"I can't believe that at this time last year I was still a student," _her inner voice mused.

"This way," he said as he gripped her arm and pulled her along. She didn't realize that she had started on her own path while dazed in reflection.

"S-sorry," she mumbled. The two continued on in silence. Within five minutes they reached the faculty building at the back end of the campus. There was no one standing guard at the entrance, so they simply walked in and up the steps to the third floor. "I didn't know you lived on campus, Doctor," she commented.

"It was free," he responded lowly as he inserted the key. He opened the door and stepped in with Maria following close behind. "Wait over there, I'll be right back," he said, gesturing towards the living area. Maria nodded, removing her coat, and took a seat on the couch, her eyes darting about and taking in every aspect of the apartment. He retreated to the bedroom, where he had a cabinet containing all of his lab supplies. It was on the floor in one of the corners and resembled a safe. He twisted the dial to put in the combination. Once the safe was open, he reached in and grabbed a bottle containing a clear serum. He also took out a needle. Next he went to the bathroom and found some rubbing alcohol and a cotton ball.

"This antidote will neutralize the toxins in your system. You could feel dizzy or sleepy, so it's important that you don't do too much strenuous activity," he told her as he placed the materials on the coffee table. He opened the needle and, after cleaning off the top of the bottle, inserted the correct dose of the serum. Figuring she was right handed, he lifted up the sleeve on her left arm and cleaned off an area of skin with the rubbing alcohol.

"It's fine, Dr. Crane, I can do it," Maria offered, pulling away from him.

"Are you sure?" She nodded.

"Yes, I've been giving myself shots since my first day at college," she responded with a small smile. He gave her the needle and watched as she injected it. She didn't flinch or express any signs of pain. Her face was perfectly placid. "There, all set," she said once she finished, as if she was reassuring herself of something. Nodding, he put the cap on the needle and went to the kitchen, where he tossed the waste. After that he came back for the serum and the rubbing alcohol and returned those items to their rightful homes. Maria brought her hand to her left arm and gently massaged it. The injection site was starting to hurt a little, but she hid the pain. She stared passively at the table in a state of serenity.

"Miss DuPont," he said as he reentered the room. She glanced up at him, slightly dazed. "I need you to realize that no one can know about this. You cannot tell anyone, not even your sister."

"Of course…I understand," she responded. "I just…I'm curious, Doctor Crane. Why are you working with these types of toxins in the first place?" His eyes darted away as his brain scrambled for a way to avoid the subject, or maybe a way to answer the question vaguely.

"I'm studying the nature of fear," he answered quickly, "to create anti-fear drugs, to help those who allow fear to incapacitate them." He wanted to bash his head into a wall. Not that he had a problem with lying; it was _this_ lie in particular.

"Really? That's incredible!" Maria exclaimed. What frustrated Crane even more was that she actually _bought _it. There was a dropping sensation in the pit of his stomach. He kept his exterior calm and aloof, but inside his head was scrambling for a correction, a way to make his experiments seem less interesting. His first answer to her was a foul-up, and he knew that he couldn't possibly recover from it.

"I know it sounds like I'm intruding, and please, don't feel like you have to say yes, but…perhaps…to make up for all the trouble I've caused you, maybe I can offer some assistance with your experiments?" Maria offered.

"Why would you want to do that?" Crane retorted lowly.

"It's just…I find this whole idea of curing fear really fascinating, a-and I'd like to help you," she replied, her voice trembling nervously.

"I don't need any help," he cut in sharply. The smile on Maria's lips faded, and the light in her eyes darkened.

"All right," she responded softly. "Well…ah…t-thank you, Dr. Crane. Thank you for helping me. I'm sorry I've been such a nuisance. I should probably return to work now." She looked absolutely pathetic, like a dog who had just been scolded by its master. A loving, stupidly loyal dog. She retrieved her coat from the arm rest of the couch and slipped it on. Crane kept his head bowed slightly, his blank gaze on the coffee table.

_Is this how you treat people who are nice to you?_

The door opened quietly and softly clicked shut, as if Maria was being careful not to interrupt his thought process. He heaved a sigh and removed his glasses, placing them on the coffee table. His eyes turned towards the door. He went to the door and opened it, peering down the hall. Maria had almost reached the stairwell.

"M-miss DuPont," he called hesitantly. She turned around. Her hands were joined in front of her, her elbows resting on her hips, like she was praying.

"Yes?" she responded, her voice barely audible.

"I was planning on observing the properties of some new chemicals I received the other day. You're welcome to help…if you'd like to." Even though she was far away, Crane could tell that she was smiling brightly.

"A-are you sure?" she called back excitedly. "I don't want you to think I'm forcing myself in…"

"No…it's not like that," he replied hesitantly. "I'm asking because I would…very much appreciate your assistance."

"Right now?" she asked.

"Yes." Her grin grew a little bigger, and she quickly returned to the door.

"This is so exciting, I can't wait!" she exclaimed as she stepped in. He released a small sigh and closed the door, glancing back at her as she removed her coat and placed it on the arm rest of the couch.

"Neither can I," he mumbled.


	11. All That I Want

Chapter Eleven: All That I Want

It was those experiments. _They _were the key to reaching Crane. Once he lets you see the experiments, you know he must think you're something special. Maria couldn't have been happier. She wasn't sure why Crane had a sudden change of mind. She guessed he just felt sorry for her.

_"I'll prove to him that I can do something to help him. I'll show that I have worth," _she had told herself. She was diligent in her work. He asked her to measure out two milliliters of each chemical into a beaker, and then she had to do the same process four more times for each one. It was so he could study the reactions the chemicals had when exposed to different substances. She did this quickly and precisely, but she also took great care when handling the toxins. When Crane returned with the rest of his supplies, she had finished. He nodded approvingly and moved on to the next task.

The afternoon rolled by quickly. The room smelled faintly of chemicals. Maria opened a window, letting in a chilly breeze. As darkness began to fall, they completed the necessary tasks for the day. Maria's back hurt slightly from having to bend over, but she didn't mind it terribly. She returned to the coffee table (their work bench) and grabbed as many beakers and Petri dishes as she could carry. Then she brought them to the kitchen sink and began the process of washing them. It was the only task she could do without having to go into Crane's bedroom (an endeavor that neither one of them felt comfortable with).

Meanwhile, Crane was dealing with the chemicals. After tightly bottling them, he returned them to the safe in his bedroom. He scanned the room, scrutinizing its sloppiness. He hadn't bothered to make the bed that morning, and his laundry continued to pile up. He heaved a frustrated sigh and shut the door of the safe. When he returned to the living room, he saw Maria drying off the beakers and placing them in a neat clump on the counter.

"What time is it, Dr. Crane?" she asked. He glanced at his watch.

"About six," he answered as he took some of the beakers. Maria's eyes widened.

"Oh my gosh, I have to get going! I promised Alexis I would pick up some groceries and be home by six thirty!" she exclaimed. Her speed kicked up a notch as she frantically tried to finish drying the remainder of the beakers.

"I can take care of the rest, Miss DuPont. You should go," Crane offered, stepping into the kitchen.

"N-no, it's fine. I have to finish the task you gave me," she argued.

"You've done enough for me already. I don't mind," he replied. Maria's eyes nervously turned towards him, glancing at his watch. If she weren't so pressed for time, she would have gladly finished the chore. But she didn't want to worry Alexis by arriving home later than expected.

"Thank you so much for understanding," she exhaled, her face relaxed and relieved. She offered a small smile and left the kitchen to gather her things. She pulled on her coat and slipped into her shoes. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow at work, then," she said timidly.

"I guess so," he responded quietly. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." The door shut. He could hear her rapid footsteps travelling down the hall. He half-heartedly began drying the beakers. The apartment seemed a lot bigger now, emptier.

* * *

><p>An unexpected phone call interrupted him in his reading. He prayed it wasn't the Asylum calling to question about his skipping the afternoon shift. If he was going to get in some trouble, he knew that Maria would be in even hotter water. He placed his book face down on the coffee table and travelled to the phone, which was hanging on a wall in the kitchen.<p>

"Hello?"

"J-Jonathan?" replied the weary voice on the other end. He could tell that the person was trembling.

"…Alexis?" he asked.

"Oh thank god," Alexis exhaled. "Maria hasn't returned home yet. I called the Asylum office to see if she left work and Sarah said that she left this afternoon with you. Is she there?" She spoke rapidly, nervously. Crane's eyes widened. A deep pit had opened up in his stomach. He peeked at his watch. It was almost eight o'clock.

_"Shit," _his inner voice muttered.

"Hello? Jonathan?"

"She's…not here," he answered hesitantly.

"Oh my god." Alexis was getting more nervous now. Her breathing became unsteady and quick. "Oh my god, what if she got mugged or kidnapped?" she cried. "Jonathan, listen, could you please come over? You have to help me find her!" Hearing the desperation in her voice made his pulse race. His hands felt wet and sticky. His eyes were wide. He hadn't become immune to fear just yet.

"Y-yes…of course," he finally responded after a moment of shocked silence. He hung up the phone and grabbed his coat.

* * *

><p>He was a little delayed in arriving. Like an idiot he forgot to ask where Alexis lived, so he had to look her up in the phone book. At first he couldn't find her, and then he figured that the address was under her boyfriend's name. He had to ransack his memory to recall the name. Eventually he remembered the name, but he was nowhere to be found in Crane's phonebooks (they were older editions, which didn't help much). Finally he decided to just call the operator and asked her to trace the last call.<p>

When he knocked on the door, Alexis answered. She looked perfectly normal. No tear stains on her face, no shaking, no worried frown. She smiled at him.

"Jonathan, what a surprise! What are you doing here?" she greeted him cheerfully. Then he realized he had been tricked. A strange mix of emotions boiled in his blood. He wanted to strangle Alexis right then and there, but at the same time he wanted to curl up in a hole and die. He kept his demeanor cool and placid. Alexis opened the door a little more and stepped aside. "Why don't you come in? We're just about to have dinner." She gave him a quick wink and ushered him in. After taking his coat and placing it on the coat hanger, she gestured him towards the breakfast nook/dining area, where four bar-style chairs were set up. The room smelled of garlic and butter. He noticed Maria tossing a salad by the sink.

"We have a dinner guest," Alexis announced. The toilet flushed and the bathroom sink ran for a few moments. Then the bathroom curtain opened.

"Who might this be?" Jake asked, a welcoming smile plastered to his face.

"This is my co-worker, Jonathan Crane," Alexis responded. "Jonathan, this is my boyfriend, Jake." Maria glanced towards them, her eyes widened slightly in shock.

"O-oh! Good evening, Dr. Crane!" she exclaimed. "Lexi didn't tell me you were coming over!"

"Me neither," he muttered.

"Well, Jon, it's nice to finally meet you," Jake replied, his voice loud and boisterous. He offered his hand. Crane nervously took it and Jake led the handshake. His grip was tight, and Crane felt like his arm might snap off. "Man, you're a skinny thing, aren't you?" he commented, smiling.

"Go easy on him, babe," Alexis said as she grabbed an extra plate, wine glass, and silverware set from the cabinets.

"Listen, Alexis, I don't want to intrude," Crane tried, hoping that he could slip away without seeming rude.

"Nonsense, Jonathan," Alexis responded. After setting up his place, she approached him, looping her arm into his. "It's been a while since we actually did something together."

"You're insane," he muttered, leaning in closer to her ear. "Why the hell did you tell me your sister was _missing_? What are you trying to pull, exactly?"

"It was the only way to get you over here," Alexis replied, smiling mischievously. "You wouldn't have come if I asked you directly."

"You're right, I wouldn't have."

"Just try to have fun, Ichabod." She squeezed his bony forearm. "You're too tense." She gave him a light pat on the back and returned to the kitchen. From under the counter she grabbed a bottle of white wine.

"That should go nicely with the pasta," Maria commented happily. Alexis found the bottle opener and placed it on the table with the wine. Crane watched as she retreated to the living room and sat on the couch with Jake. He stood in the doorway, unsure of what to do. Should he just leave, or stick it out? His gaze trailed towards Maria. She had placed the salad on the counter and was now sautéing pasta in the garlic sauce he had smelled when he first arrived.

"I assume…you made it home all right," he said to her as he stepped closer to the kitchen. Maria glanced over her shoulder, smiling.

"Yes I did, thank you," she responded cheerfully. Then her smile faded. "Dr. Crane, I'm really sorry about Lexi," she added softly. "You can leave if you feel uncomfortable. We won't feel insulted." Crane glanced towards the couple on the couch. He had strongly considered leaving, but when he tried to turn to the door, his feet wouldn't allow him to take another step in that direction. He looked back at the apartment: Alexis and Jake being a couple, cuddling, laughing together, doing what couples do. Maria in the kitchen, quiet, gentle Maria, cooking dinner while Alexis and Jake, who were kind enough to let her stay with them, were being a couple. She was repaying the favor. He wondered how lonely she was underneath that serene smile.

"No, I'll stay," he answered. "It's been a while since I've had dinner with…" He paused, rethinking his choice of words. He wanted to say "friends", but he wasn't sure if he could consider any of these people his friends. Alexis was his ex-girlfriend. It had been complicated since they broke up. They could barely talk to each other without a sense of hostility coming between them. Crane wasn't even sure why he hated her so. He never wanted to be in a relationship with her, yet when she broke up with him, he couldn't help but feel angry. But he also felt small and defenseless. She had a way of manipulating people to do her bidding. She had learned to do it with an innocent, friendly mask, and now she took on the role of a seductress. That vile woman.

Then there was Jake, who he just met. They hadn't even reached acquaintance level yet. But already Crane knew that he didn't like the guy.

Finally, Maria. She was a co-worker. Not even. They didn't even work in the same department. But she was there _all the time_. She had an interesting way of butting her head into everyone's business. She was the first one to volunteer a helping hand. When he saw her at lunch, she was getting lunch for her fellow nurses as well. She stayed overtime and took on jobs the other nurses didn't want. She had new-girl syndrome. She worked harder than all the rest to prove that she could handle the job. But even outside of work she had to help others. She begged to help him with his experiments. She was cooking dinner, wearing that little smile of hers again. So what was she to him? He couldn't put a name on it.

"Friends?" Maria offered, her voice light. It had the sweet quality of a crystal bell. Crane nodded. It was really the only word he could think of to describe their relationship.

"Yes," he replied.

"Dinner's ready!" she announced to the household. Smiling, Alexis stood and sauntered over to the counter. She took in a deep breath, inhaling the rich aromas of the meal.

"Smells great, Maria, as always!" the older sister exclaimed as she took a seat. Jake pulled out the seat next to hers and sat. This left Crane and Maria the two seats on the other side. Crane hesitantly took his seat while Maria guided the pasta into a serving bowl. Alexis took the liberty of opening the wine bottle and pouring everyone a glass. The whole process to her was an exhilarating one. If there was one thing she loved, it was impromptu events such as this. What made it even more fun was that Jonathan was blatantly flustered. He timidly kept his eyes on the dinnerware.

"Here you are, Jonathan," Alexis said with a wink as she poured him some wine. He turned his eyes to the glass. For a few moments he watched as the air bubbles rose and popped just before reaching the surface. Every fiber in his being was incredibly tight. He reached for the glass and swiped a quick sip. At this point it would be the only way to loosen him up a bit.

"Would you like some salad, Dr. Crane?" Maria asked.

"You're so adorable, Maria," Jake commented. "The perfect little housewife." Crane glared at him, and then his gaze turned towards Maria. She was smiling.

"Thank you, Jake," she replied happily. "I try my best."

_"That wasn't a compliment, you twit," _Crane's aggravated inner voice gritted. _"He's making fun of you." _He looked at the salad: mixed spring greens, walnuts, avocado, and some sort of brown dressing. It looked delicious. Then he glanced at Maria again. Her smile was still there, but it looked forced. Her gaze was downcast, and the light in her eyes had faded. Alexis let out a laugh.

"Now Jake, be nice," she teased. "If it weren't for Maria we wouldn't have this nice food, now would we?" Red had seeped onto Maria's cheeks and she shyly bowed her head.

"I'll have some…thank you," Crane finally responded. Maria nodded and scooped out some with the salad tongs. Then she reached towards the pasta bowl.

"How much pasta would you like?" she asked him.

"Not too much," replied Crane as he handed her his plate. "I'm not very hungry."

"You never ate much," Alexis remarked teasingly. "That's how you stay so skinny." Maria dipped the pasta tongs in and grabbed a serving. Before returning the plate, she placed a few more strands on top.

"Thank you," he said when he received his plate. Maria then began placing food on her plate. She had about the same amount of pasta as Crane had and less salad. Crane wondered how she could possibly run on so little food, considering how frail she looked. Not that he was one to criticize. People always thought there was something wrong with him because he was so thin. It was just the way his body was built.

As everyone began eating, all that could be heard was the clinking of silverware against ceramic plates. Crane was a little slow in his eating process (he didn't like it when people watched him eat). He kept his eyes on his plate.

"The sauce isn't too strong, is it?" Maria asked softly, breaking the silence.

"It's perfect," replied Alexis. Maria let out a relieved sigh and kept eating. Crane finished his wine quickly and Alexis immediately refilled his glass, almost like she was testing him. He took another sip once Alexis returned the wine bottle to the center of the table. There was another period of silence, followed by a nostalgic sigh from Alexis. "This is nice," she mused. "Nothing like a quiet night at home with good food and great company, right?"

"I'm curious…Miss DuPont," Crane addressed her. "Do you live here with Alexis and Jake?" Maria turned towards him and nodded cheerfully.

"Yes. After I graduated Alexis said that she would help me out until I earned enough money to get my own apartment," she explained.

"Or until she finds a boyfriend she can mooch off of," Jake added playfully, his eyes switching towards Alexis. Alexis lightly slapped his arm.

"O-oh I wouldn't do that!" Maria replied frantically, her cheeks red. "I'd still pay my share of the rent and such!"

"Speaking of rent," Jake cut in, "we're due next week, ladies."

"I'm all set with my share," Alexis responded. "I'll write the check later."

"So am I," Maria added timidly. Crane glared back at Jake again, then he returned his gaze to his half-eaten dinner. It was quite good, better than anything he had eaten in a while, but he slowly found himself losing his appetite. He caught Maria glancing at his plate with a worried look in her eye. He took another bite of pasta and sipped his wine. His second glass was almost finished. Alexis was eyeing the wine bottle. He was thirsty, but he knew that Alexis was trying to get him drunk.

"Miss DuPont, would you mind getting me a glass of water?" he asked. Maria stood up.

"Not at all, Dr. Crane," she responded. She turned around and reached into the cabinet for a water glass, then she went to the sink and filled the glass with tap water. "Would you like ice?" she asked.

"No ice, thank you," he said, his eyes on Alexis. She smirked. Maria quickly returned with the water.

"Here you are," she said as she slid into her chair.

"Thank you, Miss DuPont," he responded, taking the drink and sipping it.

"No more wine, Jonathan?" Alexis questioned, a girlish flip in her voice.

"I don't enjoy drinking very much," replied Crane. "Besides, I have a long way home."

"I was under the impression you were planning on sleeping over," Alexis retorted playfully, a smirk on her lips. Maria's eyes widened slightly and her cheeks became flushed with color. Jake held back tiny laughs. Crane heaved a sigh and placed his fingers on the bridge of his nose.

"Now where did you gather an absurd idea such as that?" Crane asked, a sharp edge in his voice.

"Well, you've been guzzling that white wine ever since you sat down," replied Alexis.

"I had two glasses," he softly defended himself.

"Lexi, please," Maria said softly, sensing Crane's discomfort. Alexis smiled wryly.

"I was just teasing him. Just a little playful banter. I didn't mean to cause harm," she responded defensively. Crane sipped his water.

"Even so," the younger sister replied, "saying stuff like that can bother people, even if it's meant lightly." A warm feeling filled him. He glanced towards Maria, who was staring at Alexis with a small frown on her face. He didn't see a forlorn gaze this time. There was fire in her eyes. She only remained that way for a few seconds, then she returned to her half-eaten food.

The meal continued. Jake was the first to finish, shortly followed by Alexis. She stood and gathered the empty plates.

"I'll wash tonight," she offered.

"Let me do them, Alexis," Jake countered.

"It's fine, I've got them."

"No, I insist. You and Maria are always doing the cleaning around here." Alexis smiled, shrugging slightly.

"We could do them together," she suggested. Jake smiled back.

"Sure, sounds good."

"Are you two almost finished?" Alexis asked Maria and Crane. Maria nodded and passed her plate, silverware, and wine glass.

"Thanks for washing the dishes, " she said happily. Crane hadn't finished all of his food, but he passed his dishes anyway.

"Thank you," he added.

"Hey, it's no problem," replied Alexis. "Why don't you two go relax on the couch for a bit? After we clean up I'll break out a card game." Crane nervously glanced at his watch. It was getting close to nine.

"I shouldn't overstay my welcome…" he tried.

"It's not that late, Jonathan. And you're always welcome here!" Alexis countered.

"Besides, you should digest a little first," Maria added timidly. He heaved a defeated sigh and followed Maria to the couch. They sat next to each other and for a while there was a silence between them. Her hands were neatly folded on her lap and her eyes were on the ground. Crane sat cross-legged and was leaning on his elbows. His eyes had been drawn to the coffee table.

"What card games do you like?" Maria asked. Crane glanced at her, then back at the table.

"Ah…I've never actually played any before," he replied quietly. She let out a small gasp.

"Really?" she inquired. "Then…what did your family do for family fun?" Crane couldn't help but crack a wry smile.

"My family's never been that close," he responded.

"Oh…I'm sorry," she said softly. "Well…ah…we could start with Blackjack. It's pretty easy to get the hang of. And I have a feeling you would be good at it, Doctor. It involves a lot of thinking." Her lips curled into a smile. "I'm not the luckiest person in the world, so all my strategy usually goes to waste."

"What sort of strategy?" Crane inquired.

_"Oh, I can't tell you that!"_ Maria responded. _"That's something you need to figure out for yourself!"_

Crane always remembered that first game of Blackjack that he shared with Maria, Alexis, and Jake. While he was incarcerated at Arkham, he was often asked to attend group therapy sessions with some of the other "hardcore psychotic" inmates. Some of his fellow inmates included Jack Napier, his "girlfriend" and Crane's former student Harlene Quinzelle, Edward Nygma, Pamela Isley, Harvey Dent, and Jervis Tetch, who later became the only person he could consider a "friend". In these group therapy sessions, they would sometimes play games, and Blackjack was a favorite. The games never ended well (Joker had a notorious habit of cheating, and the fact that Harley Quinn was aiding him didn't help. Poison Ivy had no interest in card games and Mad Hatter was too scatterbrained to pay attention. Riddler relied too much on strategy, while Two-Face relied solely on chance). Scarecrow had always done rather well in the games (though, of course, the games never lasted long enough for a clear-cut winner to be chosen) because he learned the lesson quickly. All games, card games, board games, social games, require a strategy, but also a lot of luck.


	12. The Dearest Things I Know

Chapter Twelve: The Dearest Things I Know

About two weeks later, Crane finally mustered up enough courage to ask Maria out. He had strongly considered asking Alexis for help, but he realized that it would just be endless torment until the day one of them died (his hope was that she would go first). When he thought about it, though, Alexis had been helping him out all along. She was Providence, Aphrodite, the Matchmaker. Clarice Montellegro, Mr. Chapman's evaluation, "missing Maria", they were all schemes to get them closer together. For once in his life, he actually appreciated Alexis's dark skill.

He asked her after they finished working with one of his prototype serums. It was a time-released fear toxin, which later became his favorite weapon for battling the Batman. The process of creating it took quite a long time, and it was nearly ten o'clock when they finished cleaning up. He offered to take her home, since it wasn't safe for a woman (or anyone for that matter) to be walking around Gotham alone at that hour of the night. The logic of the situation eventually convinced Maria (she declined initially, saying that she didn't want to trouble him).  
>He asked her as they were approaching the apartment building. He was nearly petrified when the time came. His heart had never pounded so quickly. His palms were caked in a layer of sweat. He found himself wiping his hands on his coat a lot during the journey.<p>

Maria was one of the easiest people to talk to. She was friendly and a great listener. She was always willing to help solve a problem. If he had a complaint, he could talk to her about it. Even if she couldn't find a solution, she would act as a shoulder to lean on. Her own grounding was loose, but that didn't stop her from supporting others.  
><em>"So why must this be so difficult?" <em>he asked himself. The answer came to him quickly: fear. His fear of rejection. His fear that she would laugh at him. His fear that she would torment him. And he knew what happened to Sherry Squires…

"Miss…ah…Maria," he began. That was another recent development. They had finally started calling each other by their first names. At the Asylum, they still spoke formally. It was strange calling her by her first name, and he could tell that Maria felt the same way. They had gotten comfortable with those formal titles, but they were only masks. The real person was in the first name. "I was wondering…if maybe you wanted to…" What were the words Alexis used? He was drawing a blank. Now certainly wasn't the best time to be thinking about ex-girlfriends and the like.

"Go out sometime?" Maria finished timidly. Red had flushed her cheeks. Her eyes were shyly glancing at the ground. He rubbed the back of his neck, nodding. It was sizzling. Her lips curled into a bashful smile. "Ah…y-yes, I would love to," she responded.

They agreed on a day and place. Dinner and a movie. A classic. It just so happened that Maria had the next Wednesday off, and Jonathan only had morning and afternoon classes that day. He would pick her up at six.

Tuesday arrived faster than Maria expected. She still hadn't broken the news to Alexis yet, for she was unsure of what her sister's reaction would be. Maria's plan was to be vague, and if things started getting serious she would be honest.

"I have plans tomorrow evening, so I won't be home," Maria announced casually during dinner that night.

"Really now?" inquired Alexis, a wily smile forming on her lips. "With who?"

"Ah…s-some friends," she answered. She shoved a forkful of salad into her mouth.

"From work?" Alexis pressed.

"Yes."

"What are you guys doing?"

"We're going out to dinner and seeing a movie," Maria responded timidly.

"Which one?"

"I'm not sure yet. We're going to decide when we get there."

"What about dinner?"

"Oh…we were thinking Italian. There's a nice restaurant downtown we were going to look at."

"Italian, huh? Those places are always nice and romantic."

"I'm going with some friends, Lexi," Maria corrected her.

"You can stop lying now, Maria. I _know _you're going on a date with Jonathan." Maria's entire face went rose red.

"H-how did you know?" she squeaked. Alexis let out a small laugh.

"I weaseled it out of him last week. If you're persistent enough, you can get information out of anybody," she responded with a wink.

"Or if you're annoying enough," mumbled Jake. She pinched his arm lightly.

"So do you have an outfit picked out yet?"

"Oh…n-not yet," Maria replied quietly. "I don't have many nice dresses."

"A dress isn't really _required _for a date. A nice skirt and shirt will suffice," Alexis informed her. This made Maria's expression a little more relaxed. While she lacked dresses, she had a good amount of skirts and shirts. Picking an outfit wouldn't be much of a problem.

But the next day, about an hour before Jonathan was supposed to pick her up, Maria was scrambling for something nice. She had picked a black pencil skirt that reached just over her knees and pulled out her only pair of high-heel shoes. Now she had to choose which shirt she wanted. At first she considered a pink silky top, then she had on a white undershirt and a ruby red mini-jacket. She agreed with neither one. Eventually, about five minutes before he was scheduled to arrive, she found a spring green blouse and slipped it on. She was in the bathroom brushing her hair when she heard a knock on the door.

"I-I'll be there in a second!" she called frantically. She went through one final brush and checked her make-up (nothing much, just some lip coloring, light eye-shadow, and a little mascara), then she grabbed her coat and rushed to the door. There was a moment where she paused. The nerves in her mind were catching up to her body. Her pulse was racing. She reached forward and opened the door a small crack, just to make sure. His blue eye was looking right at her. Smiling, Maria opened the door the whole way.

"Hello," she greeted him cheerfully.

"Hello," Jonathan replied. "Are you ready?" Maria glanced back into the apartment. All the lights were off except for the kitchen lights, every appliance was turned off, and everything was back in place. Her smile grew a little bigger and she stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind her.

"All set," she said. She slipped her key into her coat pocket and walked alongside Jonathan as he led the way to the end of the hall, down the steps, and into the streets.

In the simplest of terms, the date could be described as a pleasant one. They ate at a nice Italian restaurant. It wasn't the fanciest place in Gotham (for one thing, Jonathan lacked the funds to take her to the most upscale places, and Maria wasn't one who needed things to be expensive), but it provided good food and a fitting atmosphere for a first date. They then migrated to a movie theater on Grand Avenue, where they chose to view a horror film about giant bugs that took over the world. Maria and Jonathan, being the intellectuals they were, didn't see the film as the least bit scary (there were even points where Maria couldn't hold back a giggle and Jonathan smirked), but they still enjoyed themselves. As long as they were together, nothing else mattered as much.

* * *

><p>Six months passed. To Maria, it was all too quick. She spent Christmas with Jonathan that year (they didn't want to create an awkward situation in case the rest of the family remembered him from when he dated Alexis), and then she welcomed the New Year with Jonathan, Alexis, and Jake. Following that were Jonathan's birthday (January 8th), Valentine's Day (which Maria spent for the first time with a boyfriend), Alexis's birthday (March 2nd), and all the little events in between. Jonathan and Maria successfully developed the time-release fear toxin and its antidote, and since then had been working on a stronger version of his original creation.<p>

They were a happy couple. It never seemed like they argued. They usually refrained from public displays of affection, aside from holding hands or hugging. They enjoyed each other's company, and despite Jonathan's aloof nature, they always had something to talk about when their periods of silence had to be broken. They were also a quiet couple. They didn't need words.

It was April six months later. Jonathan was putting together his final exams and figuring out his summer schedule. His plan was to put in a lot of hours at the Asylum, though he had a feeling that he would be forced to teach some summer classes (not that he had a problem with that. A paying job was a paying job). But there was one thing that he had to worry about immediately. Maria was moving in that weekend.

She was the one who brought up the idea of moving in together. She said that she had been saving since high school and had finally earned enough money to get an apartment. If they combined their paychecks, they could get something a little nicer than the "little room above a Puerto-Rican market" Maria was originally planning on getting on her own. Jonathan was uncertain of the idea. The only reason he could do his fear toxin research was that he had free housing. The extra expense would make it nearly impossible to obtain all the materials he needed. Chemicals were quite expensive, after all, and the school only gave him so much for his research funds.

Then Jonathan got the idea of having her move in. He could tell that Maria was pondering the thought, but she never would have offered it. She was too concerned with being a burden, and he knew how uncomfortable she was with living in her sister's apartment. Maria wanted to be as independent as possible. To get her to agree, he would have to push it.  
>It took a little while to convince her that moving in with him was the best option. Though she hated conflict, Maria was stubborn. She insisted that she would be a burden. Jonathan insisted that, in the long run, it was the best decision. The argument was their first, and it didn't last long. Eventually, Maria came to her senses and agreed.<p>

She didn't have too much to pack. For the most part it was just clothes and books. Her trunk held all of the clothes and most of the books, and she used two boxes for the rest of her things. She could tell that Jake was relieved that she was finally moving out (they finally regained custody of the couch). Alexis was worried.

"Moving in is a big step, you know," Alexis had said as she helped Maria pack. "Are you sure that you're ready?"

"Do you not trust Jonathan?" Maria asked.

"Oh, no! Jonathan's a great guy!" Alexis responded, a little flustered. "It's just…well…" She let out a small sigh, her eyes on the box labeled "Maria's Books". "It's just strange, I guess. Helping my baby sister move in with her first boyfriend. It's sort of a reminder of how fast life moves. One day you're a carefree kid, next day you're a full-fledged member of society." She cracked a faint smile as her gaze trailed to Maria. "I'll always see you as that tiny baby Mother and Daddy brought home that one day. Even when you're fifty, you'll still be that child." Fearing that she was getting too soppy, she shrugged it off and returned to packing, wearing a goofy grin. "Well, like I said, c'est la vie!" Maria let out a small giggle, her lips wearing a warm smile.

"Thanks for worrying about me, Lexi," she responded softly. "But there's no need to be concerned. Jonathan and I are happy." Alexis nodded, accepting this as fact. She knew too that they were happy. That was what they deserved, the pair of fools.

There was a knock on the door. Maria's eyes lit up instantly and she rushed to the door like a puppy welcoming a visitor. Alexis couldn't help but laugh. Maria didn't seem to notice Alexis's reaction. She was on cloud nine as she opened the door and let Jonathan inside. The older sister stood and met the couple at the door. A sad sigh fell from her, which she juxtaposed with a smile.

"Well, this is it I guess," she said as she gestured towards Maria's small pile. "Little Maria's finally leaving the nest." She saw that Maria's wide eyes were beginning to water, but she kept smiling. The two sisters fell into a tight embrace.

"Thank you so much for everything, Lexi. I really appreciate everything you've done for me," Maria said. "I-if you ever need anything…"

"Don't sweat it, kiddo," Alexis replied with a light pat on the back. She pulled back, her eyes turning to Jonathan. "And if this asshole dumps you or beats you or cheats on you, you come straight here, understood?" There was straight sarcasm in her voice, but there was also something sharp in her eyes. Chills crawled up Jonathan's spine. The joke was meant for Maria, but the bite of the message was for him. He slipped past the girls and to Maria's things. The girls followed. Jonathan was lifting the boxes to see which one was the heaviest. The trunk, the bulkiest of the items, was actually quite light since it contained mostly clothes (plus it had wheels). He figured he would have Maria take that. He grabbed the heavier of the boxes and Alexis took the other one.

Carefully they made their trek down the stairs and to the sidewalk, where a rental car was parked. After pushing the boxes into the back seat and trunk, Maria gave her sister a final goodbye. The couple then retreated to the car and drove off, ready to meet the inner city traffic. Alexis waved goodbye until the car turned the corner.  
>Alexis returned to the apartment. It seemed bigger now that Maria was gone. Her stomach whined for food. That was one thing she was going to miss a lot: Maria's cooking. She reached into the fridge and grabbed some cheese, which she cut into semi-thick slices and paired with crackers. As she ate, she wondered how far Jonathan and Maria had gone. They probably didn't hit much traffic when they turned, for there weren't many cars in her area. Once they neared downtown, however, they would be stuck in the congestion for a while.<br>_"Have they even had sex yet?" _she wondered. She liked to think that her baby sister would remain a virgin forever, but she knew that human nature wouldn't allow it. They had been together for six months, so she assumed that they had been sexually active for some time.

She remembered their first time. Their only time. She knew he didn't want to. She pushed anyway. It took some time and work, but eventually human nature gave in. It was like stealing a precious museum artifact. She had to be sneaky, say the right words, do the right things. She wasn't herself. Despite her seemingly endless self-confidence, she was not normally one who took control of personal situations. In all of her past relationships she was the submissive one. She always relied on her partner to get things moving, and she just went with the flow.

Jonathan was the one who drew out the darker side. She knew what she wanted. He was the one who forced her to get it herself. He was a challenge, dangerous, unattainable, all wrapped up behind that unassuming face of his. She was a thief, but not a destroyer of innocence. Crane's innocence was gone long before she met him. At least that burden didn't weigh down her conscience.

Now she wondered if he still felt remorseful. He had dashed _her_ innocence that night. He pulled it out slowly and ripped it to shreds right before her eyes. And he didn't even have to do anything. It was all on her. _She _was in control. In essence, she gave it to him. She tore it to pieces and handed it to him.

She had lost her virginity back in high school, but it was with a boy she thought she really loved. She didn't feel guilty or regretful. She had the strength to keep smiling. It left her when Jonathan did.

The phone rang. Alexis jumped out of her pensive state. She reached for the phone.

"Hello?"

"Lexi? It's Maria," said the person on the other line. "I just called to let you know that we made it home all right." Alexis scratched the back of her head and turned towards the clock. An hour had passed since they left.

_"Must have been daydreaming," _her weary inner voice murmured as she blinked away the heavy feeling in her eyelids.

"Lexi?"

"Huh? Yeah, I'm here. That's great to hear, Maria," she responded tiredly.

"Thanks again for helping us," Maria said. Alexis smiled weakly.

"It's no problem at all. You kids have fun." She heard a girlish giggle on the other side. Maria's sweet, pixie-dust laughter. Her innocence was still untouched. A wave of relief rushed over Alexis.

"All right. See you at work, Lexi." There was a click, and the tone droned. Alexis hung up her end.

Maria went into the hallway and helped Jonathan take the heavier box into the apartment. It was the last of Maria's items. Once it was on the floor, Maria shut the door, a smile on her lips. She could see the faintest grin in Jonathan's face. He wasn't one who normally smiled. There were times when Maria could see the embryo of a smile materializing behind his lips, in his eyes, but something kept those smiles from being born. She didn't ask questions. She was happy with who he was. As long as the feelings were genuine, she didn't care if they were expressed in a "normal" way.

"Welcome home," he said as he wrapped his arms around her waist. She turned around in his grip so she was facing him and gently placed a kiss on his lips. A warm touch. A beautiful place. Home. An amazing feeling.


	13. The Promised Kiss of Springtime

Chapter Thirteen: The Promised Kiss of Springtime

Those six months flew by at an overwhelming speed, but at the same time Jonathan recalled each happy memory like he had lived it the previous day. The morbid November of his life had been brightened by the gentle breath of spring. It was the sweet innocence of young spring; pale, warm sunlight and soft balmy breezes. It was the tender, compassionate whispers of a fighter, a dreamer, a supporter, that encouraged lost, young flowers to smile again. It was the spring green shirt she wore on their first date, the hopeful look in her olive eyes, the shy, happy smile she always wore. He never thought that a person could inspire those beautiful feelings people crave. Love, happiness, complete satisfaction with life and oneself. Maria was helping him discover these feelings. For once he felt like his life had substance, that he was a person and not an abomination. He was happy.

Of course he rarely ever showed his slow change of heart. He couldn't replicate Maria's bright gaze and cheerful grin. He hypothesized that not many people could. He saw those qualities in Alexis, back when she was the innocent angel in his life. But they were gone now. She still smiled, and she still had life, but there was no purity. He saw only anger, distrust, and desolation. She could fool any other person with her fake happiness. He would never be fooled. He saw her innocence being torn out of her with his own eyes. Even now, years later, it was a haunting image he could never forget. Alexis would never let him.

_"I swear, if you do _anything _to harm her, I will have no regrets in terminating you." _The frightening thing was that she meant it. She _meant_ it. He could see the flame in her eyes. The burning red flame fueled by her hostility towards him.

_"Why would you try so hard to bring us together if you had those qualms?" _he had asked her icily. That was when her expression softened.

_"Because she's much stronger than I was. She'll be able to do what I couldn't, without losing herself. But I'm always second-guessing myself now. If I'm wrong, at least I'm guaranteed to have the pleasure of making your life a living hell." _

* * *

><p>They were an interesting couple to look at. A shy girl brimming with light and a timid boy drained of emotion. Sometimes it looked like Maria was forcing herself onto him. Happiness was something that he couldn't register. Years of suppression wouldn't allow it. Maria didn't mind, though. She knew. She didn't blame him. She just kept loving him unconditionally. He held her hand when he could, almost apologetically. When they reached Maria's apartment (before they started living together, he always dropped her off at home after work), the first thing he would do was kiss her. He knew she looked forward to it. It was a constant reminder for whenever she had doubtful thoughts. Then he would return home and withdraw into the world of science, where logic ruled over emotion with an iron fist.<p>

He could tell that Maria was trying to bond with him when they worked together on the fear toxins. Science wouldn't allow it, though. He wouldn't allow it. There were times when his face was buried in a book or his eyes were locked into the gaze of a microscope when he would feel her hand on his shoulder or her side brushing up against his. Those tingling touches brought him back to reality momentarily, but his experiments had the incredible power of sucking him into the cold, rigid scientific world. There was safety in that domain. Certainty. Everything had a reason for happening. Reality, the realm of emotion, was as inconsistent as peoples' feelings. When he needed to be in a comfortable, controlled environment, Jonathan turned to his experiments.

He would stay up late into the night. Most of the time he barely noticed when Maria gave him a goodbye kiss and left. Those were the nights when she wouldn't receive that special kiss from him. He could tell from the skittish nature of those goodbye kisses that she was disappointed. Of course she would never say anything about it. She knew how much the experiments meant to him. His life's work, his precious babies.

Nothing changed after she moved in. When she was done working with him, she would kiss his cheek or the top of his head and retreat to the bedroom. The hours would slowly pass into the deep night. Maria would lie awake in bed all that time. Sometimes she let herself cry. Jonathan would never hear her. She was good at staying quiet when she was sad, but he was also too engrossed in his work to care about anything else. Usually at around two in the morning she would dry her face and come out of the bedroom. She would approach him and place a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Jonathan," she would say, "it's late. Come to bed." He would nod and keep jotting down his notes. It would take him another half hour or so before he was ready to sleep. He would fall asleep the moment his head hit the pillow. She would turn onto her side and face him. She would stare at his tranquil, sleeping face for what seemed like hours. She would inch as close to him as she could get. He would breathe right into her nostrils, ignorant to her proximity. Sometimes she would be so close that their noses were softly touching. Sometimes she would steal a kiss. He never woke up.

Sometimes she debated over the idea of destroying his experiments. But she didn't know how he would react. That was the thing with Jonathan: he was so predictable, yet a mystery. For all she knew, he could have a hidden deposit of rage that would unleash itself if provoked. Sometimes she wanted to demolish his experiments just to see how he would respond. There was one thing she knew: if anything happened to those experiments, he would be devastated. She couldn't cause him that much pain. She decided to just bear it. Eventually he would run out of steam. Eventually he wouldn't need the experiments. She just had to be patient.

* * *

><p>Maria sat on the couch with a pen and her calendar. Jonathan sat next to her with a thick packet on his lap. A few stacks of identical packets sat on the table. She let out a tired sigh and stood. Summer brought its unbearable heat a little earlier than expected. She went to the light switch board and flicked the one that was off, which started the ceiling fan. Jonathan removed his glasses and pressed his fingers to the bridge of his nose. Maria gave a weak smile as she sat down.<p>

"Headache? Would you like some ice water?" she asked.

"Yes, thank you," he murmured. Maria stood again, this time going to the kitchen. While she prepared the drink, Jonathan moved his eyes to the stack of papers. He had more finals to grade than he cared to count. The one on his lap was the first. She returned quickly with the drink and handed it to him, then she sat down with her calendar again. She flipped to June. She had two weeks of vacation time, so she was hoping to take off one week in June and one in July.

"How does the week of the seventeenth sound to you?" she asked. "Maybe we can go to the beach or something." He nodded slowly, flipping to the next page of the essay he was reading. Maria wrote down "Vacation" in big letters through the whole week. "Lexi was hoping we could do something in July. She's taking all of her vacation time then."

"You make the plans, I'll follow," he said half-heartedly. Reading the moronic words of a freshman Psychology 101 student was starting to irritate him. He wished that he could just give the student a C- and move on. He _could _do that if he so desired, but then he would be bombarded with complaints from the student and her parents, and he was more willing to deal with the exam than the parents. He took a few sips of his water. The coolness soothed his head momentarily.

Maria switched the calendar for one of the exams. The packet she picked up was much thicker than the one Jonathan was grading. It was one of his doctorate classes. The name "Harlene Quinzelle" was printed on the front. She took the answer key for the multiple choice section from the table and started comparing. As she flipped through the pages, the look on her face evolved from faint interest to complete shock. This girl, whoever she was, got a perfect score.

She returned the exam and the answer key to the table. He could find out for himself.

* * *

><p>A few days later, the phone rang during the mid-evening. Maria and Jonathan were having dinner. She went to answer it.<p>

"Hello?"

"This is Dr. Long of the Gotham State University Social Sciences department. May I speak to Jonathan Crane?" Maria glanced over her shoulder.

"Ah, y-yes, sir. Could you please hold on for a moment?" She placed her hand on the receiver and turned towards the dining counter. "Jonathan, it's for you. It's Dr. Long," she said. He nodded and wiped the marinara sauce from his mouth. "He'll be right here, sir," she added into the phone.

"Thank you, Maria," replied Dr. Long. It was well-known among the faculty that Jonathan and Maria were dating and now living together. Some of them were slightly suspicious, considering that Jonathan had been teaching while Maria was a student, but Maria never had a class in which he was the teacher. "Alexis told me about your new job at Arkham. How has it been working out?" Both Alexis and Maria had had Dr. Long, but Alexis was much closer to the professor because she had many classes with him, while Maria was only in one.

"It's wonderful, thank you," she responded happily. She felt a touch on her upper arm. Her gaze averted over her shoulder again. "O-oh, here he is Dr. Long. It was nice talking to you." She then handed the phone to Jonathan.

"Hello?" Maria stood next to Jonathan, her right hand on his shoulder and her left hand gripping his free one. She couldn't hear what Dr. Long was saying, and Jonathan registered no emotions on his face. Her heart was pounding out of anxiety. Was the university not happy with his performance? Was he going to get fired? She noticed his palm was moist and balmy. She squeezed his hand a little tighter and received a squeeze. She couldn't help but smile.

"All right…thank you, Dr. Long," he said before hanging up. For a few moments he was silent. All he did was stare at the phone. Then he turned to her, the promises of a smile hinting in his lips. "I'm the new head of the psychology department," he told her.

Maria let out a gasp, her eyes twinkling with happiness and pride. She followed her first instinct to wrap her arms around him tightly.

"Jonathan, that's wonderful! Congratulations!" she exclaimed at the top of her lungs. Her voice was strained from the shouting, but she didn't care. "I'm so proud of you, Jonathan! Congratulations!" He returned the embrace, fondly holding her and refusing to let go. Not even his own mother could have shown him that much love and support. He kissed the top of her head, then her lips. He thought he could never be happier than he was in that moment. The job he wanted, _deserved_, the girl of his dreams sharing the moment with him. The happiness was incredible.

* * *

><p>Maria was washing dishes. Jonathan was working with his chemicals. Two bags sat near the door. It was the night before they were leaving for the beach. She wanted to make sure the apartment was clean before they left, so once the dishes were done she took out the vacuum. The noise was slightly distracting, but Jonathan kept working. Since he had to grade all of his exams within a certain time frame, he had fallen behind in his research work. It was also quite difficult to find test patients during the summer, with no students milling about campus. The trip was going to be a buffer as well.<p>

"Try to get to bed early tonight, okay?" Maria said as she put the vacuum back in the closet. He nodded. She knew he wasn't listening. She released a small sigh. "Do you need help with anything?" she tried.

"Yes, please," he responded almost immediately, not taking his eyes away from the Petrie dish. She approached the coffee table and knelt across from him. He handed her an eyedropper filled with a clear liquid, then he grabbed his notepad and a pen. "Now," he instructed her, leaning forward, "I need you to release one drop at a time of this liquid into the Petri dish. Stop when I tell you to. Understand?" Maria nodded. "All right, begin."

Maria did as she was instructed, allowing only one drop out at a time into the dish.

"Slow down a little," he muttered as he quickly jotted down something. She slowed down. "Are you counting?" She nodded. Her eyes were on him. His eyes were on the dish. After about twenty drops, the mixture in the Petri dish began to fizz. "Stop, stop!" he exclaimed excitedly. He wrote down his observations. "How many drops did you count?"

"Twenty," she answered.

"Twenty," he echoed as he wrote it down. "Thank you, Maria." His words of gratitude were quick, which Maria learned meant that he didn't need her help anymore. She nodded and stood. Her eyes trailed to the clock. It was around eight-thirty. She retreated to the bathroom to take a shower. When she returned to the living room half an hour later with her nightwear on, Jonathan was still working.

"Jonathan…you really should stop working…we have an early train tomorrow," she said softly.

"I've almost finished," he responded quickly. She heaved a sigh and sat next to him on the couch, her eyes turning to the chemicals. Those blasted things. She leaned forward a bit and started picking up the empty glassware and discarded materials. He glanced at her. "What are you doing?" he asked, his voice a subdued mumble. Maria jumped slightly at the unexpected question.

"O-oh…I'm just cleaning…"

"Put those back. I need them," he commanded her icily. He only caught a glimpse of her wide, sad eyes because the chemicals in the Petri dish were fizzing. He jotted down some notes and checked his watch.

"Oh…all right…I-I'm sorry," she said faintly as she returned the beakers to their places on the table. She stood up, her hands timidly joined in front of her and her eyes downcast.

"Please…just remember…"

"Yes, I know. Eight o'clock train. I'll be done soon," he replied curtly.

"All right," she responded. "Goodnight, then." She retreated to the bedroom and climbed into bed. A hot tear ran down the side of her face. She stretched herself onto the side with the tear so the pillow could absorb it before anyone saw.

About an hour later, Jonathan decided to call it a night. He washed the Petri dishes and beakers, then he returned all of the items to the safe compartment in the bedroom. Then he brushed his teeth, changed into his nightwear, and climbed into bed. Maria was on her side. He reached towards her and softly touched her arm.

"Maria…are you awake?" he whispered. There was no response. Her breathing was slow and steady. He rolled onto his back and closed his eyes. Tranquil sleep refused to welcome him. He figured that it was his punishment. The sooner he apologized, the sooner they could move on. He tried to wake her, but she refused to pull out of her dreams. They must have been nice dreams where he was a better boyfriend, where he wasn't so caught up in his world of chemicals and science. But that was _his _world, _his _special place. Why couldn't she understand that? By allowing her to help him with his experiments, he was showing her the very essence of his existence.

_"What an awful life I must live then. Only numbers and facts. No emotion. No love."_

* * *

><p>When Jonathan awoke that morning, he was alone in bed. He glanced at the clock. It was about six-twenty. After putting on his glasses, he climbed out of bed and entered the living area, where the smells of breakfast greeted him.<p>

"Good morning!" Maria greeted him happily. "The eggs are almost done." Jonathan nodded and went into the cabinet to grab a coffee cup. The coffee was already brewed. He slipped the pitcher out from the burner and poured until his cup was nearly full. Next he looked in the bread box and pulled out two English muffins, which he stuck into the toaster. She turned off the stove and brought the frying pan to the dining counter. He reached into the cabinet again and found a small plate to put the muffins on. When they popped out of the toaster, he placed them on the plate and brought it to the table. Maria finished setting the table with empty plates, silverware, butter, and jam.

They sat across from each other. Maria took her English muffin first and spread butter and apple jam on it. Jonathan served himself some scrambled eggs and sprinkled pepper on them. She then took some eggs while Jonathan took the leftover English muffin. For most of the meal they ate in silence. Towards the end, Jonathan gained some courage to speak.

"The eggs are good today," he complimented. His voice was low and insecure. She gave him a weak smile.

"Thank you," she responded. She stood and held out her hand to see if he was done. He handed her his plate, which still had some yellow egg bits on it. She gathered the silverware and went into the kitchen for one final washing before they left. After scraping the leftovers into the trash, she quickly scrubbed and dried the dinnerware. Jonathan took a few final sips of coffee before dumping the rest down the sink and he washed the mug himself.

He stepped into the bathroom and took a quick shower, then he went into the bedroom and picked out his outfit for the day. Before leaving the room for good, he reached into the nightstand drawer on his side of the bed and pulled something out, which he slipped into his pants pocket.

"Jonathan, are you ready?" Maria called. She was at the door with her bag, nervously eyeing the clock. They had to take the rail to the main station, where they would take an interstate train to the shore. Jonathan swiftly left the room and joined her at the door, taking the other bag.

They reached the rail station a little after seven o'clock and hopped on. The trains were crowded because of the commute, so Maria sat down with the bags while Jonathan stood above her. Their eyes were downcast. They didn't speak to each other. When it finally came time to disembark, Jonathan took the heavier bag in one hand and Maria's free hand in the other. For a moment she was hesitant, but she accepted the gesture and stayed close.

It didn't take them too long to find their platform, so they had about twenty minutes of downtime before they had to board. They rarely spoke to each other, but their hands were joined the entire time. Maria was leaning her head on his shoulder, tired from having to wake up early.

"Platform 34 boarding for eight o'clock to Beach Haven," said the intercom voice. They glanced at each other, then they stood and approached the boarding area. Jonathan handed the tickets to the conductor and they stepped on. They found a seat, Maria in the window and Jonathan in the aisle. Soon enough, the train started its journey. Slowly, Gotham began to accelerate past them, and within time they were welcomed by the Gotham bridge and the roads to the suburbs. Maria's eyes were glued to the moving landscape. Jonathan's eyes were on his lap. He nervously fingered the object in his pocket.

"Maria…" he said quietly, hoping he was loud enough to get her attention. She was too trapped in her daze to hear him. His heart sank a little, a small void of hopelessness. Was this how she felt? "Maria?" he tried again, a little louder. Maria turned to face him, a tranquil smile on her lips.

"Yes?" Her eyes were the color of spring. Her smile was spring. Warm, beautiful, refreshing spring.

"Maria…will you marry me?"


	14. That Moment Divine

Chapter Fourteen: That Moment Divine

Wedding Guest List  
>Mother and Daddy<br>Alexis and Jake  
>Maxwell and Alice<br>Fern and Darren

"I was thinking of inviting some of our co-workers," Maria pondered out loud. It had been three months since he proposed to her. They waited until they returned to tell everyone, figuring that it would be better to spend their beach time alone without being interrupted by excited phone calls from relatives. After everyone got over the initial shock, life returned to normal for the most part. Maria returned to work, Jonathan tried to devote more time to his project. However, with his new promotion, he had to take on more responsibilities, so he often had to put aside his experiments to attend meetings or evaluate course curriculums. They hadn't much time to even think about the wedding.

Now, in mid-September, Maria decided that they should begin planning. Jonathan had returned to teaching and working at the Asylum part-time, while she maintained her position at the Asylum. The trees outside took on the rich colors of autumn. Students had been back at school for a month and had fallen back into step with the normal routine. Maria remembered hearing complaints from Jonathan about his "moronic" intro classes. Now, as the head of the department, he pulled himself out of those beginners' classes and placed himself at the head of upperclassmen and graduate courses. Maria noticed an instant improvement in his overall mood.

"I'd like to keep it as small as possible," Jonathan responded before taking a bite of the chicken on his dinner plate.

"All right, no co-workers," she agreed, her voice sunny. "It'll just be my family, then."

"How many is that?" he asked.

"Eight. That's a good size, right?" He smirked.

"I can say all I want, but in the end it's your decision," he replied. She giggled.

"All right, then. And we won't have a big reception or anything. Just dinner at a nice restaurant," she told him.

"Are you sure? I mean…if you want to throw a big party you're welcome to," he said lowly. He personally was never one who enjoyed festivities all too much, but he didn't want to rob Maria of the big wedding reception brides always dreamed of.

"No, it's fine!" Maria answered frantically. "I've never really liked parties. You know how I feel about crowds." There was a hint of a smile on his lips.

"All right, if you insist." She leaned forward a little bit, pushing her face over the table and closer to him.

"The wedding itself doesn't matter to me so much," she said softly. "As long as we're married." She leaned a little more and placed a quick kiss on his lips, then she retreated to her seat. "Then there's the honeymoon. Mother and Daddy said they would pay for it as a wedding gift."

"That's nice of them. Where are you thinking?" Maria glanced at the ceiling for a little while, pondering. She wasn't one who travelled much, so the possibilities for her were endless.

"Let's go to the beach," she said. He smirked.

"We were just there."

"Well…we won't be going until after the wedding, and that's not until next year. I'm sure we'll start missing the beach at some point. We'll take the train in and everything." Just thinking about it made a bright grin form on her lips.

"Sounds perfect," he responded.

* * *

><p>Jonathan's favorite day of the week was Friday. He had the day off. Maria didn't. It was his prime working day. Since acquiring his new position, Jonathan cut down his hours of working at the Asylum and now only went there on weekends. He needed at least one day to think about the course of his experiments.<p>

He sat in the living room with his notes and equipment spread across the coffee table. He wanted to test his theory that a gaseous compound would have quicker effects on a subject, but at the moment he lacked the equipment that could heat the chemicals enough to make them evaporate. He considered using their stove, but his fear was that the gas would escape into the apartment. He needed a more closed off environment, a lab.

His eyes were pulled towards the clock. He had plenty of time before Maria would come home. Just a quick step into the lab, a few switches to turn on the equipment, and several harmless minutes. Then he would return to the apartment. The only problem was that he had no access to the labs. He would only have a chance of getting in if he pushed his luck.

After gathering his materials, he stepped into the hall and shut the door. Not many professors had Friday afternoon classes, so the greatest possibility was that the labs were open for graduate research. He walked swiftly and quietly, doing his best not to make much noise in case his neighbors were listening (some of the other young teachers lived on campus as well, but Jonathan and Professor Wilson from the English department were the only ones who lived on the same floor). As he left the building, the chilly breeze made him realize he forgot a jacket. It was too late now, though, so he continued.

The campus was brimming with activity. Gusts of wind sent crisp autumn leaves dancing across the lawn. Trees rattled their branches and slowly stripped themselves of their warm sheets. Students wandered about the green in little pods. Crane spotted couples, friends, teammates. They were all smiling, simply enjoying the day. A blonde head stuck out of the crowd and bobbed towards him. It was none-other than his star pupil, Harlene Quinzelle. It didn't look like she had left anyone behind when she approached him.

"Good afternoon, Professor Crane," she greeted him, a hint of a smile on her lips. That was one way Crane identified with Harlene: they had both forgotten how to truly smile.

"Good afternoon, Miss Quinzelle," he responded, his voice subdued.

"I heard you were engaged," she said, "so I just wanted to congratulate you."

"Thank you," he replied.

"I've never actually seen your fiancée before around campus. Would you happen to have a picture?" she asked. Crane glanced over her shoulder, seeing the natural sciences building just beyond the main green. His hand fell towards his pocket and reached in, feeling for his wallet. He pulled it out and, after placing his briefcase on the ground momentarily, opened it and fished around for a little.

"I should have one," he mumbled. It took him a little bit of time to find it, but eventually he pulled out a snapshot from their beach trip. "We went to Beach Haven during the summer, and that's when we got engaged." He remembered the exact time, day, and circumstances of the photo. It was taken the day they got there at around four o'clock that afternoon. They had decided to go bird watching at the nature sanctuary. As they strolled down a pathway that lead towards the beach, Maria thought that the backdrop was perfect, so she asked the older couple behind them to take a picture of the two of them. They stood close to each other, holding hands, Maria smiling, Jonathan smiling behind stale lips.

"She's beautiful," Harlene commented politely. "You two make a good couple."

"Thank you," he answered as he slipped his wallet back into his pocket.

"Do you have a wedding date yet?"

"I think it's July 7th, or around there."

"July 7th is a lucky date," she remarked. "It's a day for lovers…in China at least."

"I see," he mumbled. His eyes trailed to the science building again. Time was ticking by, opportunities were slipping away with each passing line of small-talk. "I'm sorry to cut this short, Miss Quinzelle, but I'm in a rush…"

"Oh! It's no problem at all! I understand," Harlene replied. "Congratulations again."

"Thank you," he said before picking up his briefcase and continuing on his way.

He stepped into the natural sciences building and ascended to the top floor. The building seemed fairly empty: he only ran into one custodian, and he never worried about them. The top floor was lined with only a few doors on each side of the hall. Behind each door was a laboratory. They were small and usually underequipped, but at this point Jonathan couldn't complain. As long as one of them possessed the things he needed.

At the end of the corridor he found one of the chemistry labs. The lights were off. He tried twisting the door handle which, to his surprise, bent to his will. Slowly he pushed the door inwards. The hinges let out a low whine. He scurried inside and shut the door quickly. The room was lit only by the light coming through the windows on the opposite wall. He decided it would be better not to turn the lights on. He could find his way using only daylight.

He didn't need much, nor did he need to stay long. The first thing he grabbed was a beaker, then a few test tubes, a cork for each tube, and a funnel that perfectly fit through the opening in the test tube. In the back there was a line of built-in hot plates in the counter. Quickly he opened his briefcase and took out a number of liquid compounds, setting them alongside his set-up. He placed the beaker on the hotplate, then he stuck the thinner end of the funnel into the test tube, and finally he capped off the beaker with the wider end of the funnel, holding the test tube upside down above the beaker.  
>After pouring his first compound into the beaker, he capped it off once more and turned on the hot plate. While it heated up, he slipped a rubber hot hand onto the hand that was holding the test tube. It took a matter of minutes for it to heat up, but soon enough Jonathan spotted smoky condensation on the walls of the beaker. Orange wisps of gas swirled upwards, only to be stopped by the confines of the test tube. The bubbling liquid eventually disappeared, existing only as gas in the test tube. He took a cork, removed and flipped the test tube, and immediately pushed the cork into the tube, sealing in the gas. The gas expanded to fill the tube to capacity. His hope was that the gas could survive in room temperature.<p>

He returned that tube to his briefcase, washed out the beaker and funnel, and repeated the process with another test tube and a different compound. It didn't take nearly as long to evaporate the liquid the second time. The whole time his lips wore the slightest hint of a smile. Soon enough he would experience the joy of horror once more.

It had been a while since he tested his creations on his students. Over summer break he only had access to a few students, the ones who were either trying to graduate early or slacked off during the school year. It would be much more obvious if a few students suddenly went missing for a few hours. That was the bothersome thing with these experiments: he was always sneaking around, always keeping secrets. He would never tell Maria who his test patients were. She would never allow it. She wouldn't understand. Each passing day without experiencing someone else's terror actually made his stomach hurt. His mood was morbid and irritable. He felt like the smallest person in the world. Seeing people scared out of their minds created a certain comfort inside of him. It made him feel stronger and more superior. He was sick, and his experiments were his therapy.

He knew that there was something wrong with him. It was a fact he lived with his whole life. He always felt small and helpless. His abusive grandmother, the kids at school, Sherry Squires, it was their fault for turning him into what he was. It was _their _fault he became such an abomination to human nature, _their_ fault that the only way he could feel any emotion close to happiness was through hurting people, _their _fault that he was forced to kill them.

Maria was his only chance for a normal life. He could tell that, deep down, she had been considering leaving. He deserved it, after all. He treated her terribly. He cheated on her with those damned chemicals. But without her, Jonathan knew that he would be lost forever. She was the lighthouse at the head of the island, guiding stray boats towards the Beach Haven. He didn't always follow the path she illuminated for him, but having that path, knowing that he had a choice, was comfort enough. He _had _to marry her; it was the only way of keeping that light in his life.

* * *

><p>"You are cordially invited to the marriage ceremony of Jonathan Crane and Maria DuPont on Wednesday July 7th at 5 pm at the Gotham City Courthouse on Market Street. Following the ceremony, the bride and groom would like to treat their guests to dinner at "Bella Italia" on 5th Avenue. Please RSVP to 555-9315. We will be extremely happy if you are able to attend!"<p>

A big grin formed on Alexis's face when she read the invitation. It was a simple horizontal card. The front was white with cream-colored adornments and the words "You're Invited" printed in silver script. The message was hand-written in Maria's best script. It must have taken her hours to write just one invitation.

"That's so like her," Alexis giggled as she attached the invitation to the fridge with a magnet. After doing that, she slipped on her coat and stepped into her shoes. "I'm going to get the take-out!" she announced. Jake returned with a sound of approval. They had ordered some take-out from an Indian place downtown. She grabbed her bag and left the apartment building.

Downtown Gotham was a long way's walk, so she walked a few blocks until she reached a rail station. It was a Saturday evening. People were dressed up for dates and parties. Alexis suddenly felt self-conscious. She didn't put much care into her appearance before going out. Her gaze fell to her left hand. A diamond ring hugged her ring finger. Jake had proposed to her about a week beforehand. The DuPont family was excitedly getting ready for two weddings. Alexis wanted her wedding to be in December. She was going to get married in the main hall of her parent's home, the one with the huge window overlooking their property. The grounds covered in a blanket of snow was always Alexis's favorite sight. She hoped that snow would fall by then.

She disembarked at the downtown stop and continued towards the restaurant. It was rather crowded when she got there, so she had to push her way towards the hostess to pick up her order. The girl nodded and sent a waiter to the kitchen to pick it up. While she waited, Alexis took in the restaurant. She had never eaten there in person before, but she and Jake liked to get take-out from there from time to time. As she scanned the dining room, she spotted a familiar face. Her eyes widened slightly. He was surrounded by a group of important looking people in fancy suits and dresses. She wasn't sure if she should go say "hello". Her legs forced her to approach the table. She put on her most enthusiastic smile.

"Bruce Wayne, is that _you_?" she asked, a little too loud and over-enthusiastic. She felt like complete scum. Bruce looked up from his conversation, smiling at her instantly. He seemed to recognize her. Relief rushed over her. An even more embarrassing situation avoided!

"Alexis, it's been a while, hasn't it?" he responded. The last time Alexis saw him was at Fern's graduation (Bruce was also in her class). He hadn't grown since then, but his face looked much more matured, chiseled. It seemed like he had taken into working out, for he was broader in the shoulders and chest than she remembered. "Everyone," he said to the table smoothly, "this is my old friend, Dr. Alexis DuPont." Alexis sheepishly smiled at the group, who all smiled back (some of the women waved) and said faint greetings. "If you'll excuse me for a moment, we'd like to catch up for a bit." He stood up and stepped away, with Alexis following. They ended up near the bathrooms, a dimly lit area that was perfect for talking.

"As smooth and charismatic as always, I see," Alexis commented.

"It's nice to see you again," Bruce responded, a small smile on his lips. "How are things at work?"

"Eh, the usual. Dealing with psychos, filing paperwork, nothing special," she responded. "I assume things are going well with you. It doesn't look like Wayne Enterprises has been massacred." She smirked playfully, remembering that people were worried that Bruce couldn't handle running his family's company.

"Yes, we're doing very well, thank you," he replied. "And what about at home? Are you still dating that skinny guy?"

"No, actually," Alexis answered. "I'm engaged."

"To _him_? I didn't think he had the guts to propose."

"Oh no, to someone else. Maybe you know him. Jake Fleming? He works at Willowtree Brokers."

"Can't say I've met him. Well, congratulations. When's the wedding?"

"Sometime in December. I'll invite you if you'd like."

"That would be nice. I'd love to meet him and see everyone else again. How is everyone?"

"Good. Maria's engaged too."

"Little _Maria_? What kind of guy is he?"

"Skinny, bookish…"

"Just like Crane? That was his name, right?"

"Actually…it _is _him. Jonathan Crane," Alexis said, her voice a little subdued. She could see a small, worried frown curling on his lips. Even though it had been a while since they saw each other, Bruce had a way of being able to read her. Back when they were kids, he attached himself to Maxwell and Alexis because they were older. He analyzed them constantly, following their examples. When they decided to play doctor, he was the nurse. When they decided to ignore Maria, he did so too.

"I see…and you're not comfortable with that?" Alexis stared up at him.

"N-no, I'm really happy for them!" she spat out quickly. "It's just…Jonathan…there's something wrong with him. I knew that there was something off about him when I first met him, but I thought I could handle it. But I couldn't…I just couldn't."

"Alexis, did he hurt you?" Bruce asked sternly, protectively.

"No, he wasn't abusive or anything like that. It's different," she responded uneasily. _"And I can see Maria slowly breaking down, just like I did. I stupidly thought that she could handle it. I'm just…I'm so afraid that she'll lose herself…"_ Alexis stopped herself, rubbing the back of her neck sheepishly. "Or maybe I'm just overreacting. They seem happy together," she continued, as if she had spoken her thoughts to her friend. Bruce faintly smiled, unsure if he could believe her last statement.

"I haven't seen him in a long time. Maybe I should pay a visit to the university," he contemplated.

"Bruce, don't," Alexis pushed out, stepping closer to him. "I don't want get too involved. It's _their_ life."

"I know, I know, I'm only joking," replied Bruce light-heartedly. Alexis weakly grinned.

"Order 129!" someone called. Alexis whipped her head towards the front and spotted the hostess with a white plastic bag resting on her pedestal.

"That's me," she said, beginning to slip away. "It was nice seeing you Bruce. I'll make sure to get an invitation to you." Bruce nodded, waving goodbye. He didn't return to his table until he saw Alexis leaving the restaurant. The back of his old friend disappeared into the night.

* * *

><p>"Fear is one of the strongest motivators in the choices we make. It causes us to suppress our deepest and darkest impulses. For example, my boss isn't treating me very well. He's been ignoring every idea I have come up with, he doesn't listen to what I say, and he hasn't recognized my hard work. I want to burst into his office and let out my frustration on him, say some nasty words, throw a few punches, but my fear of losing my job keeps me from doing this." The students in his class scribbled this down in their notebooks. Crane leaned slightly on his desk, pausing so his students could write everything they needed. When the majority lifted their eyes to the front, he continued.<p>

"Of course, this is only a minor example. I'm sure that every one of you has experienced something like this before. I don't really like using this story because a good amount of people can overcome this fear. Some people have more courage, more gusto if you will. They rationalize that their fear is merely a thought, a possible outcome. There could be a chance that you make your boss see the light. The threat isn't immediate, therefore the fear reaction isn't as strong. However," he reached into one of his desk drawers and pulled out a black revolver. The students, especially the ones in the front, pushed themselves away instantly at the sight of the weapon, their eyes wide. "If the threat becomes immediate, your sense of fear is heightened. Can anyone tell me what is happening?" He scanned the room. No student dared to raise his hand. They all just stared at him, at the gun. They probably thought he was crazy. He didn't care.

Finally, the blonde girl raised her hand.

"Yes, Harlene?"

"The…gun…i-is acting as a…t-trigger object," she answered meekly, her voice high.

"That's correct. Seeing the gun, the immediate threat, triggers your instinctual senses. You are afraid of being shot, and your instincts tell you to protect yourself." He shifted the position of the gun and pointed it at one of the students in the front. He let out a yelp and curled up in his chair, burying his head. The other students could only gasp and stare. There was a wild gleam in Crane's eye. "Does anyone have the guts to stand up to me? Or is your fear too overwhelming?" His lips twisted into a grin. Shocked silence filled the room. No one dared to speak, to move. They all stared. After the pause, Crane returned the gun to his drawer. "No need to worry, it wasn't loaded," he said casually. His eyes turned towards the clock. They still had about fifteen minutes left of class, but he figured that they all got the point. "All right, class is dismissed."

No one moved from his seat. Every eye was staring meekly at a desk. No one even shifted or fidgeted. They were frozen completely. Crane sat at his desk. Silence was the only thing that filled the void. He glanced up after a period of time.  
>"Did I not speak loudly enough?" he said sharply. "Class is dismissed." A girl in the back released a flush of tears and sighs. Some of the students glanced over their shoulders towards her direction, but most didn't budge. Harlene had the courage to finally bring her eyes up. She nudged her glasses up her nose a little before hesitantly standing and gathering her books.<p>

Other students copied her example, sheepishly taking their things and stepping towards the door without a word. Crane remained at his desk. The girl's whimpering became louder as she came closer to the front of the room and disappeared once she stepped into the hall. All that remained was silence, accompanied by the echo of the gunshot that could have happened.

* * *

><p>"Dr. Long called while you were in the shower," Maria told him. She was sitting on the living room couch with a pad and a pen, jotting down notes for him. He was kneeling beside the coffee table with his chemicals. It was a little after ten at night. Dark circles hung under Jonathan's eyes, the products of his lack of sleep.<p>

"What did he want?" he asked half-heartedly, his eyes focused on his work. She leaned forward a little bit so she could see what he was adding to the Petri dish and jotted the chemical name on the sheet.

"He received a complaint today from Dr. Abrams. She said she heard a girl crying hysterically in your class." She sounded like a mother chiding her young son for doing something wrong, like pushing his little sister or tracking dirt all over his room.

"Saying that the girl was in 'hysterics' is an over-exaggeration," he responded, not taking his eyes off the chemicals for even a split second. Maria stopped writing and looked at him in a blank stare.

"You mean…you _did _make a girl cry?" she questioned. A swirl of turquoise permeated through the Petri dish, stretching its fingers to the very edges.

"Maria, are you recording this?" he said quickly.

"Jonathan…did you make a girl cry?" she repeated, harder this time.

"We were discussing fear's power over one's emotional state. Sometimes the subject becomes too strong for the students," he responded quickly. "Maria, are you writing this down?" he snapped, glancing at her momentarily.

"Yes, yes, I'm doing it," Maria responded as she scribbled down a few words about the reaction. There was something else that Dr. Long told her on the phone. It was a thought so unbearable that she couldn't bring herself to say it. He would _never _do such a thing. How could anyone say that he did it? And yet...she was never sure with him anymore. "A-and someone else complained that you fired a gun in class," she added quickly.

"Who said that?" he asked, for once looking away from his work.

"A student, I think," Maria answered nervously.

"Those snot-nosed little…" he muttered under his breath.

"Jonathan!" Maria cried, her eyes wide and teeming with fear. "No…you…you didn't!"

"That was a flat-out lie. The gun wasn't even loaded," he explained coolly.

"But…y-you still had a gun!" she exclaimed.

"I have my methods of teaching. It got the point across," he said.

"Jonathan, you can't point a gun at your students! It doesn't matter if it's for the good of learning. You could have hurt someone, and then what? Your career would have been finished! Everything you've worked so hard to achieve would have been for nothing!"

"I know the consequences, Maria!" he snapped at her. "I'm not an idiot. Believe me, I know exactly what I'm doing!"

"Tell that to Dr. Long. He wants to see you first thing tomorrow," she replied hardly. The oncoming swell of tears was turning her face red and made her throat hurt. She bit her lower lip. "Jonathan…what's going on?" she asked in a wet whisper, unable to look him in the eyes. "What's happened to you?"

He looked at her. It had been a while since he really looked at her. Dark circles hung under her glossy eyes. Her hair was losing its youthful shine, and she hadn't even hit thirty yet. He could see the tension in her shoulders and back muscles caused by bending over patient beds and leaning over chemicals every night. He remembered how tired she was when she came home that night, how hard it was for her to even stand, yet she made dinner and volunteered to help him when she could have been reposing. She was letting her body deteriorate for him.

Sighing heavily, he removed his glasses and buried his face in his hands. His head was pounding. He couldn't tell her. She would think he was a monster. He couldn't tell her that he _needed_ them to be afraid of him. It was the only way he could be in control, the only way he could feel satisfied with himself. Even though he hated making Maria upset, even though it made his heart ache, there was a small twinge of happiness in his stomach. He had successfully made her fear him. He felt utterly sick and strangely giddy. The worst person in the world.

Maria cried for what seemed like hours (it was actually only about twenty-three minutes). Jonathan did nothing to try and stop her. He just let her drain her tears. At least she had the strength to do that. She would wake up the next morning refreshed from a good cry, with all of her troubles momentarily drained. That was a luxury Jonathan could not enjoy.  
>She was mad at him for not trying to comfort her, but she was also mad at herself for allowing herself to cry so much in front of him. She didn't want her emotional struggles to be his burden. He had enough to deal with. Her silly emotions weren't worth the worry.<p>

When sleep finally came to her, she greeted it with open arms and welcomed it into her home. Jonathan did not try to move her to the bedroom. He placed a pillow on the couch, set her lying down, and draped a blanket over her. Maybe this was her way of stopping his work for the night. After putting away his materials, he changed into his nightwear, performed his nightly hygienic ritual, and grabbed himself a blanket and pillow. There was no room for him on the couch, so he slept on the floor between the couch and the coffee table, his fingers laced in hers. He gently rubbed the engagement ring with his thumb as a way of lulling himself to sleep.

* * *

><p>Die…die…die…die…die…die…<em>DIE!<em>

* * *

><p>Maria didn't wake up that morning. Jonathan called her in sick. He then wrote a note on a sheet of paper saying that his classes for the day were cancelled. Figuring that it would be a while before Maria woke up, he left the apartment in his nightwear and travelled all the way to the Social Sciences building. It was still quite early in the morning, so early that the sun had just begun to peek over the horizon. The grounds were lit by a soft deep blue hue. It felt like he was being swallowed up by the sky. The grass was wet with dew. When he reached his classroom, he stepped inside and grabbed the gun from his desk, then he quickly tacked the scrawled cancellation note onto his door and rushed back to the apartment. On the way there he tossed the gun into one of the large university garbage bins, making sure to bury it deep. It would be taken to the dump that day. No one would ever know about it.<p>

To his luck, Maria showed no signs of leaving sleep. It gave him a little time to think about what he was going to say, and more importantly what he was going to do. He figured he should start with the simple things. Breakfast. His stomach groaned. He turned towards the kitchen, scanning it for supplies. The coffee pot was ready to brew. After filling it with water and new ground-up beans, he turned it on and let it work its magic. He poked his head into the fridge. Eggs, bacon, vegetables. They never had omelets before. When he was growing up he had to make his own meals, and omelets happened to be one of the few things he knew how to make.

His eyes were always switching towards her (he almost cut himself with the knife multiple times while chopping the vegetables). He wanted to know what she was dreaming about, what her fantasy world looked like. He hoped that he was in it. He wanted to be in every aspect of her life. The imagination is the state of life that we all hope for, the one we truly want. If he wasn't in her fantasy world, if she no longer desired him, then it would all be over. After all, the fantasy world if more true to the individual than reality is. Maria was the centerpiece of his dream realm, the domain he wished he could merge with rigid, unforgiving actuality, science and experiments.

He cracked a few eggs into the frying pan and tossed in half of the vegetables. Reds and greens danced across a sea of yellow. After a couple of minutes or so, he took a spatula and gently flipped over the half-cooked disk, causing the pan to sizzle. His eyes fell towards Maria. She was beginning to stir. He folded the omelet in half and placed it on a plate, then he began cooking the next one.

Maria couldn't remember what she had dreamed about. It couldn't have been about something bad, or else she would be trembling. But it couldn't have been about something really happy, or else she would be smiling. She felt drained when she awoke. The only thing keeping her in the moment was the smell of breakfast cooking.

"Am I making breakfast?" she murmured to herself. She felt around her. No hot stoves, no eggs, no countertops. Instead a pillow, a blanket, and a couch. Her head was pounding. She slid the blanket off of herself and swung her legs over the edge of the couch, holding her head in her hands. After a few moments of pulling herself into reality, she looked at the clock on the wall. It said 8:16. She was missing work. Gasping, she shot out of her seat and ran into the bedroom to change, only to find that she was still wearing her uniform. Jonathan had just finished the other omelet and slipped it onto another plate. He turned off the stove and caught Maria before she could bolt out.

"Maria, it's okay," he said, his voice reverberating like a hoarse, gentle echo in her ears. "I called you in sick. You don't have to go to work today." She stared up at him, with the same doe-like eyes she had the previous night. She shook her head and tried to push herself out of his grasp.

"No, no I need to get to work," she said. He kept his grip tight.

"It's too late now. They're already called someone in to sub for you. If you go it'll cause a lot of confusion. Sit down and have some breakfast," he argued softly. Maria was too exhausted to fight back, but she pushed against him a little, showing the little fighting spirit she had left. She said nothing. He knew that she wanted to escape. He wouldn't let her. As long as she had the ring, there was no way she could possibly escape.

He helped her sit down and slid one of the omelets towards her. She had her hands neatly folded on her lap, her head bowed slightly. He reached into the overhead cabinets and grabbed a couple mugs.

"Would you like some coffee?" he asked. She nodded. He poured two cups and added sugar and milk to Maria's, then he brought the cups to the counter and sat down. She was picking at her omelet. He slid the lighter coffee towards her. She took it and held the cup with both hands, allowing the warmth to permeate into her skin. He took the mug by the handle and took a large sip, allowing the scalding liquid to burn its way down his throat. The temperature of the liquid was always what made him wake up, even though he was wide awake right now. He was tempted to force Maria to drink, to force the hot drink down her throat and through her system. She was dead now and needed to be revived. Maria just didn't work right when she was dead.

They finished breakfast in silence. Jonathan grabbed the dishes before Maria could start cleaning up and put them in the sink, figuring he could wash them later. Maria had left the table and went into the bedroom, haphazardly shutting the door. He entered the bedroom as well, although he used the bathroom door.

The room was dark. He saw Maria by the dresser, removing her nurse uniform and picking through her clothes for something else to wear. She stood there for a long time, naked except for her underwear and a bra, contemplating. It was hard for Jonathan not to stare. She looked much skinnier than he remembered. Her stomach was a hollow, causing her hip-bones to protrude. Her skin had been suctioned to her ribs. Her sternum wasn't well pronounced, but her collarbone was. Her breasts had gotten smaller. Even the fat on her upper legs was beginning to recede.

She pulled out a pale blue silk top and a pair of dark blue jeans. He looked down at himself. He hadn't changed out of his nightwear yet. Figuring he should do that too, he went to the dresser and knelt down to the two bottom ones, where his clothes were located. While Maria meandered away to change into her outfit, Jonathan grabbed a pair of black slacks, a gray collared shirt, and black socks. They changed clothes quickly, in the dark. Maria stood there for a while after changing, lost in her own thoughts. He looked at her. The silky top was loose and billowy. The top had thin straps, revealing her slim arms. The jeans didn't cling to her hips perfectly like they used to. The legs of the pants covered most of her bare feet. She pulled her messy hair out of its ponytail, grabbed a hair brush, and began to battle the tangles. Her hair was quite beautiful when it was brushed out, almost perfectly straight and reaching a little past her shoulders. Her skin was like milky moonlight. He thought she was the most perfect thing in the world.

"Thanks for breakfast," Maria said softly, pulling her hair back into its low ponytail.

"You're welcome," he responded. He sat on the bed.

"Shouldn't you be going to see Dr. Long?" she asked, keeping her distance. She looked at him through his reflection in the mirror.

"It's early," he replied.

"He said he wanted to see you first thing," she stated.

"He means nine-thirty. I still have an hour left," he countered.

"What do you plan on doing before that?" she asked. He shrugged.

"Spend it with you?" he tried. "This could be the last time you see me alive."

"Don't talk like that," she retorted, turning to him. "I'm really scared, Jonathan. About what's going to happen to you."

"Nothing's going to happen to me, Maria," he said. He stood and joined her, standing by her side with their bodies nearly touching. She looked up at him. Their eyes met briefly, then Maria turned into him and pressed her face into his chest, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist like a frightened child.

"You could get arrested, Jonathan."

"I know."

"We won't be able to see each other."

"I know."

"I love you." He hugged her tighter.

"I love you too. Nothing bad is going to happen." She looked up at him. Tear drops rested in the corners of her eyes. There was a small wet stain in his shirt.

"How do you know?" she asked.

"I know how to handle this," he said. "You'll just have to trust me on this one." Maria looked straight into his eyes. There was a malicious glow in them. Her stomach curled. She bowed her head, trying to ignore that frightening look.

_"Get out of him, whoever you are!" _her inner voice yelled at the demon. _"Leave him alone!" _

"Don't do anything…you'll regret," she answered hesitantly. She felt his lips softly touching her head. They stood there, holding each other, rocking gently to the metronome of their beating hearts. That's all they did until it was time for Jonathan to leave for his meeting. They hadn't held each other like that in a long time. His touch sent tingles playing across her skin. Her touch was warm and soothing like a lullaby. They couldn't stand to be without each other's loving embrace.

* * *

><p>The house was decorated with white flowers: lilies, roses, daisies, all white. The bride and bridesmaids got ready in Alexis's old bedroom. The bridesmaids were dressed in spring green. Everyone said that Maria looked the best in the dress because of her eyes. She shyly thanked them and helped her sister with her hair. Fern was in charge of lacing Alexis into the corseted dress, while Erica, Alexis's maid of honor, did her make-up.<p>

"Lexi, you're beautiful," Erica said with a big smile.

"Only with your help, Erica," Alexis responded, her voice riding on a laugh. She winced at the end of her laugh as Fern pulled one of the strings tightly.

"Can you breathe okay, Lex?" Fern asked.

"Yeah, just fine," Alexis replied. Maria took a pin and tucked some strands of stray hair into Alexis's high bun. A placid smile curled on her lips. She reached behind her and found the veil, which was attached to a small tiara that had comb teeth in the back. Carefully she slid the comb into the bun, allowing the light gossamer veil to drape over the bun and down her back. She imagined herself in the same position. Yet she knew that she wouldn't be. Her wedding was going to be much simpler. Her dress wouldn't be as fancy. Their venue was the Gotham City Courthouse, not the flower-decked main hall of her parents' house. She wouldn't have any bridesmaids, not even a maid of honor. There wouldn't be nearly as many guests as there were at Alexis's wedding. Maria didn't mind, though. She liked things simple.

She wondered how Jonathan was doing. She had left him sitting towards the front with the rest of the immediate family. Hopefully things weren't getting too awkward for him. Soon enough the wedding would be over and, after the first dance at the reception, she could join him again.

The ceremony went by faster than Maria imagined. The wedding march seemed long and drawn out, so she expected the entire ceremony to be full of long-winded, traditional conducts, like reading verses from the Bible and such (not that her family had been very religious in the first place). The ceremony was somewhat of a blur to her (she could barely remember the vows, but she distinctly recalled shedding a tear when her sister spoke her half). Maria could only imagine herself in Alexis's place, and Jonathan standing where Jake was, saying their wedding vows, proclaiming their love. In time she would have that beautiful, once-in-a-lifetime moment.


	15. Someday, My Happy Arms Will Hold You

Chapter 15: Someday, My Happy Arms Will Hold You

Crane stood at the front of his classroom. It was about six in the evening on a Thursday. He didn't have any classes. The students in this room weren't even his students. They were all freshman from the introductory class. He needed subjects for his latest experiment, so he asked Dr. Rush to give all of his introductory psychology students flyers advertising extra credit opportunities. About thirty students arrived for the extra credit. He picked eight, four males and four females, and sent the others away.

He took a few notes on each student, little things like distinguishing features (he didn't even bother to ask their names. It was too dangerous to mention people by their names). Instead he gave each subject a number, and then guided the group to the basement level of the social sciences building. He unlocked eight rooms and had each student step into one. The rooms were dark. Only the hallway was dimly lit. The students waited patiently, nervously, for their tasks. He told them nothing about what was going to happen to them. One and Two were the controls, who would be given no fear toxin. The other three pairs would be given the compound in different concentrations, with two students per concentration.

He unlocked one more room and stepped inside. The sound of hundreds of scurrying feet was the first thing he heard. He flipped on the lights and illuminated the eight cages filled with white lab mice. There were about ten mice per cage, all stolen from the natural sciences building. He took one of the cages and went to the first student. Quickly he opened the door and let the mice loose, allowing them to run free about the room. The subject, a girl, instantly recoiled upon seeing the mice crawling towards her.

He shut the door and watched her reactions through the window. The strain of fear could be seen in her wide, quivering eyes, and was expressed by her hunched and protective body state as she sat on top of a table in an effort to keep herself away from the demonic creatures. He made note that she, although frightened, was not in the state of complete, maddening fear that he was hoping to achieve. Eventually she would realize that the mice had no intention of hurting her and she would no longer be afraid of them. The problem was that her rational thought process was only temporarily disabled. To reach the ultimate terror, reality had to be suspended. The victim had to be plunged only into a world of "what ifs", the dark, unpredictable realm.

Bored with the conclusion of his first subject's experience, he returned to the prep room to grab another rat cage. The next door contained a control subject as well. He always found the controls to be incredibly boring, but they were necessary for the validity of an experiment. This trial went similarly to the first one. The male was a little paralyzed at first, but at an even faster rate he recovered. Rats weren't exactly the ideal things to use to frighten a grown man.

Crane reached into the prep room for the next rat cage, as well as a test tube containing his latest fear gas. The next room contained another male. He was the sporty type: wide shoulders and toned arms, a broad chest, large yet lithe. He was wearing a Gotham State football jersey. His eyes glanced towards the rat cage, then towards the watch on his wrist.

"Listen, Professor, I'd like to help you out and get my extra credit, but can we move this along faster? I've got a date in ten minutes," he said.

"I wouldn't worry," replied Crane with a smirk. "This shouldn't take long." He placed the mouse cage on the floor and approached the boy with the tube of fear gas. The boy's eyes widened a little.

"Hey, what's _that _supposed to be?" he asked, recoiling. Crane was quick and uncorked the vial, allowing the gas to waft under his nose. The boy recoiled, coughing as the chemicals entered his system. Crane let the test tube drop to the ground.

"It's just a little hormone gas, that's all. It'll make the experiment go faster," Crane said as he bent down and released the mice from their enclosure. The boy tried to run for the door, but Crane had slipped out, shut the door, and locked it before the boy could get halfway across the small room. As the scientist escaped, he pressed the start button on his timer and watched.

The boy shuddered, gripping his head. Crane smiled. He could see the fear beginning to swell in his eyes. The subject's pupils became dilated, glossy, and his breathing became heavier. In a panic he twisted his body, trying to understand his surroundings. When he looked below and saw the mice crawling about, the boy let out a terrified yelp and ran for a chair, which he stumbled on top of. He stood, holding himself, trembling, mumbling incoherent phrases, screaming on occasion. A twisted smile curled onto Crane's lips as he wrote these observations down.

As he left to tend to the next subject, Crane couldn't help but feel a little dissatisfied. The gas he had used contained the highest concentration of his fear chemical he had dared to work with. It did the job quickly, plunging the victim into a state of fear, but the transformation was not enough for him. It didn't create that tingling sensation in his stomach, nor did it give his head the rush of adrenaline one might feel when he is driving at high speeds with the hood down. It was like a drug; as he became more addicted to it, it took higher and higher doses for him to achieve that ultimate high.

When all of the subjects had received their treatments, he entered their rooms with his memory erasing serum. He gathered them in the hallway and said that the experiment was over, and they had all done wonderfully. When a student asked puzzledly what they had done, Crane deftly lied that they had filled out a questionnaire about the quality of their childhood family vacations and how happy they were at the present day. That seemed to satisfy them, so Crane returned them to the main floor of the social sciences building and released them into the night.

He returned to the apartment. As he entered he could smell dinner cooking. Maria stood at the stove and was frying meat, wincing as the smallest drips of hot oil splattered onto her fingers. He gave her a small, "Hello," and went into the bedroom, where he disposed of his notes and materials. Then he removed his jacket and tossed it into the laundry basket.

"Working late again?" Maria asked when he returned. He sat down on the couch and picked up the book that was lying on the coffee table.

"I had an extra credit class," he responded.

"I thought that wasn't in your policy," Maria said, suspicion dripping from her tone.

"It was for one of Dr. Rush's introductory classes, but something came up and he couldn't teach it, so I decided to step in."

"That's very nice of you," replied Maria with a smile. Figuring that the steaks were done, she placed them onto their plates and spooned helpings of sautéed vegetables onto each plate. Jonathan joined her at the table as she placed the dishes with the unaccompanied silverware. He wasn't particularly hungry, but he figured he should eat to avoid worrying her. They had their meal in silence, aside from the chewing of meat and sipping drinks. It was certainly a difference from Alexis and Jake's table.

"Lexi and Jake returned from their honeymoon today," Maria remarked, since her thoughts were on them. Jonathan nodded, barely looking up from his plate.

"I see…where did you say they went to?"

"Colorado, to go skiing," she responded.

"It must've been cold," he commented lowly.

"Yes, but it seems like they had a fun time," she replied, a soft smile on her lips. She was now thinking about the near future. In about seven months they would be going to Beach Haven for _their _honeymoon. She could already feel the warm sand lodging in between her toes and the sun grinning brightly at them.

Jonathan offered to wash the dishes when they finished, but Maria refused, saying that he should just relax after a hard day at work. He didn't feel like fighting her at the moment, so he lazily went to the couch and took a seat, once again picking up the book on the coffee table. He pretended to read it while he listened to the sound of running water and the clanking of dishes. Sometimes he would hear Maria start to hum a tune, but the melody would die in a matter of seconds. She still remembered the time he yelled at her for humming while he was working on the toxins (lack of sleep combined with pent-up frustration had put him in a bad mood). He never fully apologized for that. Now it was too late.

She slipped her engagement ring back on after she finished washing the dishes. It used to have a perfect, faintly snug fit. Her fingers had recently shrunk a little, so the ring dangled slightly from her bony finger. The ring had this annoying habit of slipping up and down her finger, threatening to slip off if her hand was at the correct angle. She tried moving it to her middle finger, which had a little more fat, but the petite diamond on that particular digit made her entire hand look rather stupid.

From the cabinet she grabbed a container of walnuts and poured some into a small bowl, which she took with her to the couch and sat down next to Jonathan. He glanced at the snack, remembering that Maria had been reading about healthy ways to gain weight. Eating walnuts must have been one of those tips.

She took the remote and clicked on the television. The news channel had Summer Gleeson talking about the influx of crime in Gotham City. Gang fights, robberies, mugs, rapes, murders, they were all part of Gotham's heartbeat. These things just became part of daily life. People went on thinking that these things could never happen to them, but there were times when these people were wrong. Just last week Maria was asked to work overtime. If she didn't stay she could have ran into a gang fight that took place not too far from the University.

As she half-heartedly soaked in the news, she leaned up against Jonathan, her head resting softly on his shoulder. Almost instinctively he placed his arm around her. He felt her shoulders relax, releasing all the tension that was twisted inside of her muscles. Her breathing was slow and tranquil. If he didn't see that her eyes were open, he would have guessed that she was sleeping.

The moment reminded him of how things were before they started dating, before they were engaged. He remembered the very first day they met. She had just graduated from school and was determined to show that she was capable of being a nurse. He remembered thinking she was weak and small. Her physique, her shyness, she would never survive. She reminded him so much of himself: timid, bookish, scrawny, insignificant, always having to fight hard just to be recognized for the smallest thing.

"Would you like one?" she asked him as she held up the bowl of walnuts. He glanced into it. She had barely touched them. He reached in, took a couple, and popped them into his mouth. This seemed to encourage her to take a few herself. She ate them one at a time, her lips closed as she slowly chewed. He tried not to look at her. She hated it when people watched her eat, and as someone who shared that sentiment he felt like he had to respect it. When she was done and placed the bowl back on the table, he took the bowl and offered it to her. Maria saw a faint look of genuine concern in his eyes. Three walnuts wouldn't be enough. Maria's stomach tumbled. Nothing she did was enough anymore.

She threw herself off of the couch and sprinted into the bathroom. Jonathan heard a choking sound followed by a few deep breaths.

"Maria?" he called. There was no answer. He stood and went to the bathroom. The door was wide open. He saw Maria bent over the toilet, panting. The room smelled of vomit. She didn't move, but she was trembling and heaving wet sighs. He knelt beside her and flushed the toilet. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. "Why are you acting like this Maria?" he asked. There was no answer. He was starting to get annoyed. "Come on, you're acting childish," he said. "Why don't you just tell me what's wrong?"

The fact of the matter was that Jonathan knew what was wrong. He was a psychology professor. He knew exactly what was wrong with her. And he knew it was his fault. While part of him wanted to avoid blame, to be the innocent party, the other part wanted Maria to accuse him. Admitting it would be the first step to recovery. But Maria would never do it. Even in her frenzied state, she would continue to blame herself for everything. That was just the way she was. She could never place the burden of blame on another person. She would bear the weight for a person she loved. She would make the sacrifice. Eventually though, her structure would break, and her form would collapse. When Jonathan took her face in his hands and looked at her, he could already see a crack splitting her in two. She was fragile, breaking.

* * *

><p><em>You are the storm that rattles my windows and the earthquake that shakes my foundations. You are the hammer that smashes my skull and the blade that pierces my heart. You are the boiling tar that scathes my skin and the ice that freezes my limbs. You are the burning coals under my feet, the nails in my palms, the knife that slits my throat. You destroy me completely. You rip my body apart and dash my innocence. You use me. You ignore me. You say to me ugly words and tell me ugly truths. You make me want to die.<em>

_You are the cradle in which I rest. You are the calm, refreshing ocean that washes away my sadness. You are the cloud that bears me into the sky. You are the blanket that protects my body and warms my chilled flesh. You are the tingling in my stomach, the fluttering in my heart, the wonderful sight that haunts my dreams. You are the one who looks back at me from the mirror and says that I am beautiful. You are the reason I exist. You say to me beautiful words and tell me beautiful truths. Your love gives me the strength to live.  
><em>

_I love you, Jonathan. Fully, completely, totally, with all that I have._

* * *

><p>Winter passed over Gotham like it always did, silent, piercing cold. This year's winter took longer to leave, though. Even in April it snowed when it should have rained. The everlasting winter left a feeling of despair in the people's hearts. Even in the times of winter's perfect stillness and peaceful rest, there was always the longing for spring to arrive. Winter kept the people of Gotham indoors most of the time. Jonathan was able to make more progress with his experiments. Together, he and Maria developed an even stronger fear toxin. It remained dormant in the corner of their safe, for even he had doubts about it. It was too strong to test without creating an antidote first. The antidote itself would take months to develop.<p>

Maria tried her best to be herself. Even in the winter she could be the beacon of spring. Her gentle warmth had the power to thaw the ice in Jonathan's heart. But the more his experiments blew a cold wind on him, the harder the ice was, and the more futile Maria's attempts became. She was losing momentum. The light was beginning to fade. She never asked for anything. She just offered herself to him, saying that she would do any task, however mundane it was, as long as it helped him in his research. She used her aid as a way of getting herself closer to him, before and after they started dating. Maria, though unassuming, was rather cunning in her methods of getting attention, particularly Jonathan's attention. She timed chemical reactions, copied down almost illegible notes into neat squares, slaved for hours over projects.

He noticed that her hair was losing its youthful shine and that dark circles had taken roost under her eyes. Over time she became slow, slightly dazed, and rather forgetful. However, she never asked to stop, so he told himself she was fine and could keep working, even though deep down he knew the work was slowly deteriorating her. Though he would never admit it, he needed her. An extra set of hands was nice, but it was really the company he desired. His world of science and numbers was an empty, desolate one. There was no real feeling in his world of fake emotions. Having someone, the person he loved, beside him made him feel less alone.

That was how they bonded, through their time working together on his experiments. Their love was the only non-artificial emotion that came out of that partnership. That love and the fear Maria felt towards Jonathan.

* * *

><p>It was late on a Friday night, nearly nine o'clock, and Jonathan still hadn't returned home. Maria sat on the couch, her foot worriedly tapping against the floor. She tried calling his office multiple times with no luck. Then she tried calling Dr. Long for information on her fiancé's whereabouts, only to find that Dr. Long had also been looking for him and hadn't heard anything. This both worried and calmed Maria. Dr. Long had access to all of the places Jonathan did, and he also had campus security on his side, so Maria figured that Dr. Long would have a much better chance of finding Jonathan. However, Dr. Long's motives for finding Jonathan concerned her. Why was Dr. Long searching for Jonathan in the first place?<p>

She hung up the phone, grabbed her coat and shoes, and turned off most of the lights, deciding that she should try searching for Jonathan instead of waiting for news about him. Her stomach curled and her legs were trembling slightly. Her head felt heavy, her body was tired, but she left the house anyway. Outside it was cold and dark. Students were in their dorms and security guards walked around the campus. Before Maria could reach the natural sciences building, she was flashed by a bright, blinding light.

"Hey, you, stop!" she heard a voice cry. The sudden light in her eyes caused her vision to spin and spot. She shut her eyes momentarily to gain her composure. It wasn't until now that she realized that she was wobbling. "All right, miss, you know it's past curfew, don't you?" the campus officer asked. Dazed, Maria shook her head.

"N-no, officer, you don't understand. I'm not a student. I'm looking for my fiancé," she answered quickly, slurring her words a little. Her stomach was flopping. She felt like she was going to throw up.

"Miss, have you been drinking this evening?" he asked.

"Please, have you seen my fiancé? His name is Jonathan Crane. He hasn't come home yet and it's very late," she tried.

"I'm so worried about him. Please, have you seen him?" The officer stared at her, a puzzled expression on his face. He couldn't smell any alcohol on her breath.

"All right, miss, I think you should head back home now. Would you like someone to escort you?"

"C-could you take me to the natural sciences building?" she pleaded. The officer heaved a sigh.

"Miss, the university buildings are closed…"

"I think that's where he might be!" Maria interrupted. "I'm going to go look for him. Will you tell that to Dr. Long?" She began running away, tripping once or twice before gaining her footing. The officer called for her to stop, but she could barely hear him. Her head was pumping and her ears rang. Every breath she took in was heavy and labored. The little energy she had left was beginning to deplete. She realized that she forgot to eat lunch and dinner. It was too late for that now.

Maria had the good fortune of reaching a building that she thought was the natural sciences building, but was actually the social sciences one. The main doors were unlocked. Maria found this surprising though relieving, for it meant that she could be one step closer to finding Jonathan. She stepped into the dark lobby. One light in the center of the lobby was on a low setting for safety. When she closed her eyes, she saw an imagined vision of Jonathan stalking into the building and down into the basement. She hobbled over to the basement door and tugged at it, finding that it too was unlocked. She knew Jonathan well enough to know that he liked to work underground.

Gripping the banister tightly, she cautiously descended the murky staircase. It seemed like it took forever for her to reach the door to the basement level classrooms. When she finally did, she was greeted by a long expanse of hallway with only three overhead lamps turned on, as well as a cacophony of terrified screaming. The noise rang in her ears and made her head hurt even more. How could no one hear it?

Maria's first instinct was to run away. It was all a messed up dream that she would wake up from soon enough. If she ran faster, maybe she could escape it sooner. But her legs were frozen. She was forced to stand there and take in everything. It wasn't a nightmare. It was reality. A door opened. A person escaped a room and went into the next one without giving her so much as a sideways glance. She recognized the dark hair, the reflection of the glasses, the smell. The person was Jonathan. Her heart pounded. Her legs were released and she ran to the door, peering in via a small window. She saw Jonathan holding a needle containing an orange liquid. He was facing the door, while his victim's back was to the door, her face lifted so she was looking at him. Maria could only imagine the look of terror in the girl's eyes. It was the same look Maria was wearing now. Her olive eyes were wide, drinking in Jonathan's face, his mad blue eyes and twisted smile. She couldn't hear what he was saying, but seeing the sick joy in his lips and crazy giddiness in his eyes made her stomach roll around inside of her. When he plunged the needle into the girl's arm, as she let out a cry of pain, Maria turned away to vomit. However, nothing would come out.

She didn't immediately run to tell someone of higher authority what was happening. Something stopped her, a painful, green thorn bush that was growing in the pit of her stomach. It made her irritable. She watched as the student writhed on the table, letting out terrified screams as Jonathan withdrew the needle. She hated that student with such a burning passion. His eyes were staring madly at that ugly creature, watching as she plunged into a world dominated by her deepest fears.

_Look at me,_ Maria's inner voice growled. _That stupid girl doesn't know what's happening. She doesn't understand you. Me. Me. Look at me! I understand. I love you! Look away! Look only at me! ME!  
><em>

She turned and ran away, up the stairs and out of the building. She sprinted across the university green, her heart pounding, gasping, trying its hardest to catch up with her breathing. Her legs carried her across the ground, bounding so fast that Maria felt like she might fly into the clouds. Her head was lighter than air now. The bubbling sensation in her stomach had boiled away. She ran and ran until she couldn't run anymore. Then slowly but surely she trudged the rest of the way to the teachers' apartments. Even when she made it inside, her trembling body couldn't escape the cold nor the darkness of the night.

The next thing she remembered was waking up to a kiss on the cheek. The room was dark. She could only see the outline of Jonathan's shadow above her. Then she felt his palm cupping her forehead.

"You have a fever," she heard him murmur. Maria weakly lifted her trembling hands up, letting her left hand fingers run through his hair and her right palm stroke his face. His hair was slick with sweat, his skin coated with warm moisture.

"So do you," she whispered back. Her vision went pitch black. Moments later, she felt Jonathan slipping into bed beside her. As he wrapped his arms around her, she could tell that he wasn't wearing anything except for his underwear. His breathing seemed heavy and labored, like he had just run a great distance. His hands travelled down her body to the front of her nightgown, where he began to snap open the buttons. She didn't object as he slid the nightwear off of her body, leaving nothing but her underwear. They were both warm and feverish. The cool air of the bedroom felt refreshing against their skin.

* * *

><p>Neither one of them went to work the next day. Maria woke up with the alarm and called both of them in sick. Jonathan hadn't been phased by the alarm. First she ran into the bathroom and vomited into the toilet. Once the wave of nausea had curled away, she climbed back into bed and fell asleep. When she opened her eyes again, it was ten-thirty. Jonathan was still asleep. She placed her hand on his forehead. His skin was still burning.<p>

"Jonathan…Jonathan wake up," she gasped, her voice hoarse. Jonathan's face twitched before his eyes opened. His vision was blurry, but he easily recognized Maria. He reached out to her, pulling her closer to him, holding her protectively like a girl clutching her favorite doll. She felt his chest expanding as he drew in a deep breath, inhaling her. It had been some time since they enjoyed simple carnal pleasures. Maria didn't want to be released, but she knew that they both needed medicine. She struggled out of his grasp and went into the kitchen, slipping into her nightgown again as she grabbed Tylenol and a glass of water. When she returned, she saw that Jonathan was sleeping again. She had to wake him up once more and force him to swallow the pills. After he was done, she took her own dose and finished the water.

She stumbled into the bathroom and bent over the toilet. The nausea passed over quickly without her releasing anything, but she remained on the bathroom floor for a long time. The white tiles cooled her skin more than her sweat-soaked sheets could. She would have to tell him eventually.

* * *

><p>Two days passed. Jonathan and Maria returned to work, figuring that they could keep their illnesses at bay after two days of rest. Maria arrived home early the evening she returned to work. Jonathan was teaching a class, and later he had an important department meeting. When she got home she immediately dialed Dr. Long.<p>

Jonathan returned from his meeting at around six-thirty. Maria didn't start dinner, figuring that the meeting would last longer. She was on the couch with her face in a book. The slamming door brought her out of her peaceful place.  
>He was fuming. She had never seen him so passionately angry; she had never seen so much emotion on his stone cold face. Frantically he bounded into the bedroom. She could hear him whipping open the safe and scrambling to gather all of its contents. Papers shuffled, glass clinked, he breathed heavily.<p>

"Jonathan?" Maria called softly. He burst into the living room with the materials and a box. He dropped the box and began hurriedly throwing things into it.

"Grab the rest," he commanded her. She didn't move. Her heart was pounding. He turned to face her, his blue eyes slicing into her. "Hurry, they're coming!" Eyes wide, Maria rushed into the bedroom. Outside she heard footsteps and voices. There was a harsh knock on the door.

"This is Dr. Long, open this door at once!" the rough voice ordered. Maria grabbed the needle containing their strongest serum and stuffed it into her underwear drawer. It was hidden safely in the darkness. The door was forced open. She heard a struggle.

"Let go, this is mine!" Jonathan roared frantically. Maria ran to the doorway, her hand resting over her throbbing heart. Jonathan was battling with one of the security guards, protecting his precious work like a mother bear defending her cubs. Poor Jonathan was so thin: he never would have stood a chance. The guard gave a final tug and managed to pry the box from Jonathan's red, bony fingers. He lunged towards the guard, scrambling to get a hold of the box again.

"This research belongs to the university," said Dr. Long. "Everything was funded using our money. We can do with it what we please."

"No, please, I beg of you," Jonathan whimpered. He couldn't find the strength to lift himself from the floor, for the shame weighed him down too much. Maria knelt beside him, her hand gently resting on his back. She stared up at Dr. Long, eyes wide like a doe's.

"Dr. Long…please…it's all we…"

"You have two weeks to leave this apartment. Your employment at the university has been terminated, Dr. Crane." Her mouth was hanging slightly open. She shook her head slowly. Her heart felt like it would sink out of her chest and into the floor. Everything was cold.

"No," she had the courage to push out. "Dr. Long, you can't do this! I _trusted _you! You promised you wouldn't do anything to hurt him!" Dr. Long let out a low sigh. He remembered the sound of utter terror in Maria's voice when she called him earlier that day. Within a matter of minutes she told him everything: she told him about the experiments he was conducting in the Asylum, the serums they had created together in his own apartment for his research, and how he was testing them on students without her knowledge. Her voice was choked with wet sobs.

_"You have to do something, Dr. Long," _he remembered her crying. _"Jonathan isn't the same man I fell in love with anymore. He's become a monster! I'm scared, Dr. Long. I don't know what to do anymore and I'm so scared!"  
><em>

He remembered grunting an affirmation and saying that he would do what he could at the department meeting. He would try to help Jonathan. He remembered the momentous sigh of relief coming from the other end of the telephone.

_"Thank you, thank you!" _she had sobbed. Once her wave of tears ran out, she said one more thing before hanging up. _"Jonathan is so fragile, Dr. Long. Please be careful with him. Please don't do anything to hurt him…"  
><em>

He stared at the woman he had lied to, who was now kneeling on the floor next to her beloved monster. Despite Jonathan's sickened mentality, she loved him. She thought she was doing the right thing by telling an authority figure about his sick experiments. Maybe she thought that, without the experiments, Jonathan would have the strength and time to heal and they could live a normal life together. Yet she knew that only when he was doing his experiments was Jonathan truly happy, so she did her best to help him.

Dr. Long wondered if Maria had even looked into a mirror in the last few months. Dark circles hung under her eyes. Her skin was white as a sheet. Her hair was dry and frayed. Her lips and cheeks had lost their color. Her limbs appeared to be bone thin. The professor could only imagine how haggard her mental state was as well. It didn't take much for him to figure out that she too was suffering from a mental disease, one that is common in the tragic heroines of history and literature: Maria was lovesick.

He stared pitifully at the woman who was foolish enough to fall in love with a lunatic. There was no cure for this degree of lovesickness. He felt sorry for her parents. They could expect to begin planning a funeral within the next month. Lovesickness was the incurable disease, and it always ended in death.

"I'm sorry, Maria. I had no other choice. It's for the safety of the students." With that said, he left with the guards trailing behind him, the research in tow. There was no telling what he was planning to do with those years of work. Read them, take them for his own, burn them. He didn't look back at the small apartment. He would leave them for a few more moments, then he would send the guards back to retrieve the couple. Jonathan would be put in Arkham Asylum, where he could possibly recuperate and return to life as a normal human being. Maria would be brought to Gotham General, where she would wait until Death decided to retrieve her, or until she decided to invite Death into her home.

Jonathan was trembling. He was still sprawled out on the ground. His limbs refused to push the rest of his body upward. He wanted to sink into the floor and disappear forever.

"It's gone…my life's work," he murmured. "Everything." Maria stood and retreated to the bedroom, where she grabbed the needle from her underwear drawer. She brought it to him. He was sitting up now, but his head was hanging.

"It's okay," she whispered gently, trying her best to smile and stay optimistic. "We have the newest serum. It's not a complete loss."

"My notes on the other serums are gone. My equipment is gone," he muttered lowly.

"It's all right, we can make new notes. We can make new serums," she replied, her voice gaining a little more gusto. "We can rebuild. Y-you can get a full-time job at Arkham, we can get our own apartment…"

"It's not about the job, Maria," he cut in sharply. "It was never about the fucking job. It was about the _research_. They look away my life, my everything."

"What about us?" Maria retorted. Her voice was hard and monotone. It was no longer the soft legato of spring. "What about our marriage? We're getting married in two months, Jonathan." He got to his feet and walked into the bedroom. He came out a few moments later, his hand wiping through his hair in frustration.

"Everything is gone," he muttered. "They took everything…" Tears crawled out of her olive eyes and rolled down her cheeks. She watched him pace the floor, muttering to himself about those damned experiments, that stupid research. The guilt was weighing her down. It was supposed to make things better.

"I just wanted…I-I didn't mean to," Maria whimpered. He wasn't paying attention. She was trying to apologize and he wasn't even fucking paying attention. Anger bubbled up inside of her. It was a strange, foreign emotion. She clenched her fists tightly, her fingernails digging into her palms. Her stomach bubbled.

"Jonathan, I'm pregnant!" she shouted. He was motionless. There was a long silence. Finally, he glanced over his shoulder to face her.

"That's a lie," he said. Maria stared at him, dumbfounded. "That's a dirty lie," he repeated.

"No it's not, Jonathan. I've been pregnant for nine weeks!"

"Show me the pregnancy test," he demanded.

"What?"

"Show it to me and I'll believe you," he growled.

"It's too late. It's in the garbage now," she retorted.

"Then go into the garbage and look for it," he said as he turned the back of his head to her once more.

"It's in the hospital garbage."

"You're lying."

"Jonathan…sweetie," she tried softly. He didn't even spare her a glance. Her lips twisted into a deep, livid frown. "Damn it, Jonathan, look at me!" she shouted. He turned his head towards her this time. He was just as angry as she was, maybe even more. There was cold fire behind his icy blue eyes. He stared at her. She longed so to look into his eyes, but the glare he gave her was so uninviting that she had to avert her eyes to the ground.

"Well, what is it?" he snapped.

"I told Dr. Long about your experiments!" Maria exclaimed. He stared at her, shock stopping the circulation of emotions inside of him. For a moment he was a blank slate, a void of emotion, like he used to be. When the initial shock was over, though, the anger struck back like lightning.

"You did what?" he howled. Inside of her dark clouds had formed, releasing heavy rain that quelled the fires of her rage. Now all she felt was deep, sad regret.

"Jonathan, please, it was the only way I could help you," she tried to explain. "I-I saw what you did to your students and I was so scared, Jonathan, I didn't know what to…"

Pain struck her cheek. Her face became the plateau that twin rivers ran smoothly over. He was staring at her with demon eyes, his hand still raised and ready to deliver another blow.

"Do you even realize what you've done?" he hollered at her. "Do you realize that you just _destroyed_ my life's work?" She hadn't the strength to respond; all she could spit out were a few weak apologies.

Annoyed, frustrated, and enraged beyond belief, Jonathan stepped away, holding his head in his hands. His legs were trembling. His hand hurt. He concluded that he must have hit her pretty hard if it left a painful, lasting impression on his own hand, let alone her soul. He leaned up against the doorway, bringing his eyes to the gray ceiling above. Maria watched as he heaved a deep sigh and allowed himself to relax. He was ridding himself of the burden of emotions for a moment or so. It would allow him to collect his thoughts, to think about the possible solutions.

She had given so much of herself for him. Maria felt empty inside. Her heart was moaning in agony. It was trying so hard to love him. Soon enough she knew it was just going to give up. She glanced to the side, where the needle she had salvaged sat unassumingly on the ground. He didn't even notice that one piece she saved, let alone all of the pieces of herself she had given him. She never asked for much in return. All she wanted was to be loved. As she stared at Jonathan with forlorn eyes, Maria realized that he had plunged into a debt he could never pay. He was an inhabitant of the cold, rigid world of science and numbers, the perfect Yang to her Pathos-dominated psyche. He would never understand what it meant to love and be loved. He would never be able to repay his debt to her.

Maria reached for the needle. The orange liquid inside was the strongest serum they had ever created. It had the power to drive ten men insane by plunging them into a world filled with hallucinations of their deepest fears. She knew he could never love her, and soon enough she would stop loving him too. And then what? Maria feared that she had spent every last cent of love she had on him. A heart can only reach such a size. She was determined to use the last of what she had on him, the only man she ever loved, and the only man she would ever love.

She uncapped the needle and rolled up her sleeve, allowing the cap to plummet to the ground. A desolate frown stained her lips. Her skin was ghostly pale, and the circles under her eyes made her look like a newly dead corpse. Her spring-like essence was gone. Gone were her happiness, her innocence, her love. She took a few faltering steps towards him. She dug the needle into her arm. Pain shot through her muscles, but she didn't care. The physical pain was nothing. Her lips opened, allowing her hollow, cracking voice to escape.

"Well, Jonathan," she said in a soft monotone. "You still want to continue your research? If I were you I would get a piece of paper and start taking notes."

* * *

><p><em>I love you more than you could ever understand.<em>

* * *

><p>To the Board of Directors of the Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane,<p>

I am truly thankful for the pleasure of working at this fine institution. From the start of my internship to the present day, I feel that I have grown close to the dedicated staff, a group of people who saw my potential and pushed me to perform to the best of my ability. The high-ranking position I have earned is an honor to hold, but, regrettably, I must withdraw from my post as Head of High-Profile Patient Care here at Arkham.

My reasons are personal, not monetary. It is a certain relationship I hold with a colleague that has forced me to resign. For civility's sake, I will not list the name of this employee, but I will simply state that our relationship is one that is far from civil. I cannot work with a person who is willing to harm others for his own personal gain, especially one who will take advantage of the innocent, the kind, the loyal, and the loving. Behavior like this sickens me to a point where I can barely control my emotions. If I were to stay at this institution any longer, my anger and hostility towards this person might get the best of me.

What this person has done to me is terrible, but can be pardoned. What this person has done to my loved ones, however, is unforgivable and blasphemous to human nature itself. You, the Board of Directors, were given a choice not too long ago. You may not have realized it at the time, but in hiring this person to work full time at Arkham, you have lost my trust. My earnest wish is that I could tell you everything in this letter in hopes of changing the decision, but in order to protect the identities and the good names of those involved, I will refrain from doing so. You are all brilliant doctors; you can figure it out on your own if you become interested in the case.

I thank you again for the opportunities and incredible work experience I have received here at Arkham. My sincerest hope is that the institution remains successful in treating those that are beyond helping themselves.

Sincerely,  
>Dr. Alexis DuPont Fleming<p> 


	16. Epilogue: All the Things You Are

Epilogue: All the Things You Are

Batman had cornered Scarecrow in the intensive patient care ward. Around him he could hear the screams of the lunatics as they ran free through Arkham Asylum. It was mass chaos. Joker and the rest of the intensive care patients revolted against the doctors and took over the Asylum. Batman had been called in by Commissioner Gordon to settle things down.  
>None of Batman's other adversaries were around as witnesses. It was just the Bat and the Scarecrow. Neither one made a move. The silence between them was tremulous. The villain stared down his antagonist. For once Scarecrow was not part of the master planning in this massive escape attempt. He was trying to get to another level of the Asylum before making his exit.<p>

"Would you like to see my favorite patient, Batman?" Scarecrow asked. Batman was a little confused at the request, but he refrained from showing it on his face. He could only wonder what was going on in that sick, twisted mind.

"Whatever you say, Scarecrow," replied Batman, his voice low and somber. Scarecrow nodded, turned around, and started walking. His pace was constant and it seemed like he wasn't going to make an effort to run away. Batman made sure to stay on Scarecrow's heels in case the whole thing was a trick, but he could see in Scarecrow's steady stride that he probably wasn't kidding around.

Scarecrow ushered Batman into an elevator and stepped in after him. The doors closed and they went down, deep into the depths of Arkham. The bottom floor was reserved solely for the criminally insane, the people like Scarecrow, but the floor above it, still in the basement, housed the "crazies".

"She's over here," Scarecrow said as he pointed his cane towards the end of the hallway. His voice was a low, raspy whisper, the mere shell of a sound. Batman nodded and followed Scarecrow to the last cell. He lightly tapped on the door. Then he took out some keys and slipped them into the rusty lock.

"If this is some sort of trick, Scarecrow…"

"It's no trick, I assure you," replied the villain. The tumblers in the lock twisted and Scarecrow pulled the door towards them. A single lamp dangling from the ceiling lit the small, dirty room. Scarecrow ushered Batman inside. He stepped in. Scarecrow followed and closed the door. A mouse-like squeal came from a shadowed corner. "Come out," the villain told the person in the corner. "You have a visitor." Batman could just barely see the outline of a curled up figure. He saw a flash of pale skin, followed by the dull gleam of an eye. The patient crawled out from the shadows. Wide olive eyes stared at the Batman. She screamed and retreated to her corner once more, where she curled up and trembled, muttering to herself.

"Tell me, Batman, do you know who this woman is?" asked Scarecrow.

"I do not," replied Batman.

"Perhaps you have heard of Dr. Pierre DuPont?" he pressed. Wayne remembered the name. Pierre DuPont went to school with his father, and they worked together at Gotham General for quite some time.

"Yes," Batman answered.

"What about Maxwell DuPont, the lawyer who has never lost a case in his life? Or Fern DuPont Richmond, the famous marine biologist who discovered a new form of underwater plant life that is used as an alternative fuel? And what about Alexis DuPont Fleming, former psychiatrist of Arkham Asylum, currently teaching psychology at Yale?" Scarecrow pushed the questions onto Batman quickly, almost angrily. Batman knew that these people were the children of Pierre DuPont. No one expected any less from the children raised by a man like Pierre DuPont. He nodded. Scarecrow turned to the woman in the corner.

"This patient is their younger sister Maria. Do you know who Maria DuPont is, Batman?" Scarecrow questioned. It took Wayne a little longer to match the name to the face. He had only seen Maria during his childhood, and the memories he had of her were very brief and vague. She wasn't exactly the most memorable person. Scarecrow, growing annoyed, continued without giving Batman time to come up with an answer.

"I expected you wouldn't. Who would remember someone as plain and ordinary as Maria DuPont? She did nothing compared to what her older siblings did. Yet she worked harder than all of them put together. Poor Maria, wasting her time and energy on projects she won't even be credited for. Her patients won't remember her. They won't say, 'It was Maria DuPont who made me well again, Maria DuPont who showed me compassion, Maria DuPont who had faith in me'. They've even put her in this small, dank, corner cell. They, her own co-workers, have forgotten about her too." He slid past Batman and closer to the corner. He knelt in the light and reached out his hand.

"Come out, dear," he said softly, "don't be afraid…" Like a dog being summoned by its master, Maria crawled out of the shadows. Her years of being in solitude rendered her almost unrecognizable. Her hair was mangled and messy, unbrushed and unloved. Dirt caked her face, resting in her hollow cheeks. Her bleary, bloodshot eyes lost their innocent glow. Her thin lips had forgotten how to smile. She stopped trembling; her eyes were no longer wide with fear. She brought herself closer to him and leaned against him. He wrapped his arms around her protectively.

"Do you know that they call her Molly Todd here? That's because legally speaking Maria DuPont is dead," Scarecrow told the caped crusader. Batman wasn't exactly sure how to respond to it. Bruce remembered the tragedy all too well. Alexis had called him up saying that Maria had gotten into a car accident and was killed. The wake and funeral were both closed coffin because the body had been so mangled. He didn't recall seeing Jonathan there. Alexis told him that he was in the accident too and had received near fatal injuries. Bruce believed it too. Now he was starting to see that it was all a lie.

"You see, Maria was my assistant…and her exposure to the drugs became too much for her mind to handle," he explained slowly, choking on his words, finally admitting that he was to blame for everything. "Alexis and I knew that we had to protect Maria's reputation. If she had been admitted to Arkham under her own name, she would have been traced back to me, and our secret would be out. Alexis couldn't even tell their own parents the truth. Everyone in the family thinks Maria perished in an accident. Only we two know the truth.

"She was pregnant, you know," he continued, snapping into a different subject.

"What happened to the child?" asked Batman. Scarecrow drew in a deep breath.

"I…don't know. I suppose she miscarried…"

Batman wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to say, "I'm sorry" to this poor broken man. But his morals told him that no amount of personal torment gave a person the right to fight against justice and goodwill. His sympathy for the villain died right there.

"When I'm in this hideous state," Scarecrow continued somberly, "when my true identity is hidden by a foul mask, she doesn't seem to mind. The fear toxin in her system twists her perception of reality. Things that are normal seem frightening, while things that are frightening seem normal," he stated. He turned to face Batman and reached for his mask. He tore it off, revealing his true face. Dark circles hung under his eyes. His skin was ghostly pale. His blue eyes still had their icy slice. He faced Maria again. Maria glanced up at him for a moment. Her eyes widened. She fidgeted. Then she started screaming, pushing herself away from him, fighting and kicking. No matter how hard he tried to hold her, she managed to slip away into her protective shadow. Crane gathered his mask and hat and stood, a heavy sigh falling from him.

"I haven't looked into her eyes using my own. I can't hold her unless I'm dressed like this. It's been years since I've kissed her. I have to hide behind this disgusting monster if I want to get close to her…" He pulled the mask over his face and set the hat on his head. "I don't know what she sees when she looks at me in this state, but…my hope is that she sees me…the me she fell in love with…the me that loved her too…"

"You did this to her with your fear drugs?" Batman questioned. Scarecrow didn't answer. That was an answer enough. "Then why do you insist on doing this to the thousands of innocent people in Gotham? You know the pain it causes. You suffer from that pain every day. So why?" Scarecrow grinned as he pulled out something from his coat pocket.

"_If I were to stop, then Maria's sacrifice would be a waste. I have to make it mean something. That was what she wanted…to help…to have purpose…to be needed."  
><em>

"The experiment never ends, Batman," he replied. A dark, hoarse cackle rose from his throat as he dashed towards the caped crusader and plunged a needle into his arm. Batman recoiled, but it was too late. The fear toxin had been injected into his system. Batman backed into the door, jiggling the handle, trying desperately to escape. The door flung open and Batman dashed out. It wasn't long before he fell to his knees. He gripped his head as his worst fears slowly began to materialize in front of him, plunging him into a dark world where fear was the only thing that existed: Scarecrow's world.


End file.
